Musical smiles

Thanks, Jorene!

Live and Learn

Hi, everybody! I'm writing to you from Jamaica, New York (aka the JFK airport area), where we spent the night after a wonderful weekend in Black Mountain, NC, at the Live and Learn Unschooling Conference. I only have a few minutes, so I can't go into all the detail you know I'm dying to, but here are a few tidbits:

• My talks went well, especially the first one, "Unschooling the Wrong Way." That's from my perspective; the "Enjoying Teenagers" one received some nice feedback, too, but the first one is the one where I had more fun. It surprised me, because I felt better prepared for the teen talk. I mean, I rewrote UTWW the day before the talk. But I got into a groove while delivering it, and I got some nice laughs, so I started having fun. For the other one, I was running on nerves.
• Drumming, drumming, drumming, drumming. Ohmigosh, I had so much fun drumming. Caren brought a vanload of drums and held several drum circles, each one different from the last. I thought I was really partial to "anarchist" drum circles—where everyone does his or her own thing and this really magical, organic thing happens—but Caren organized a group of us to learn Kuku (my spelling), a West African rhythm, and perform it in the talent show. I'm still high from that night. Our practices involved a lot of mistakes and laughter, and the performance involved a lot fewer mistakes and this feeling of total triumph. We rocked the house! Everybody was on their feet, and all the kids danced like maniacs, and Caren led us to go faster than we had in practice, and it was amazing.
• I got to meet so many people I have only known online. It's kind of an odd experience to walk into a room full of strangers and discover half of them are already friends, but that's an unschooling conference for you.
• I got so much out of the other speakers' talks. I went to all of them, I think. Some brilliant people and a few new ideas to ponder. I might write more about those as I continue pondering.
• We danced! As the masquerade ball wound down on Saturday, a group of us diehards (even not-gimpy Frank) danced together. The DJ played "Bohemian Rhapsody" and we all knew all the words, including 6yo Kade, who was so obviously thrilled to be included in the big circle of teens, and the Ohmans, who belted it out with great and hilarious enthusiasm. As the song ended, I thought, "That's it, that should be the last song," but there were more, and each turned as special as the last. For "Closing Time," we all danced in a big, goofy circle, and then there was "Delilah." We were all singing along to that one when the music suddenly cut off. Undaunted, we continued singing, led by Jake Ohman, and finished off the song. It was a fun and special bonding time.

Phew! Anyway, it was a beautiful weekend, and I was so honored to be a part of it. I just wish more of the LIFE is Good part of the tribe could have been there!

More about L&L here (at the bottom) and here and here and here.

Check these guys out!

The Toucans just played Microsoft. They were great! Steel drum fun.

I especially enjoyed this, although the clip doesn't capture the coolest part of the song.

Drum circle north

My mom and my nieces stopped by yesterday. Chelsea spotted my drum and started cranking out rhythms with a natural flair that reminded us of her daddy in his younger days. After one particularly inspired riff, she cracked up laughing and gasped, "That made me so happy!"

Within minutes, we were all sitting there with drum, empty Kapla boxes, maracas, and triangle, making a joyful noise.

I might have found my local drum circle.

Thursday 13

Thirteen Wonderful Memories from LIFE is Good

This was a post in progress. With 20 minutes to spare, I got it done on Thursday.

1. First, foremost, always, the people. Our tribe. I. Love. These. Humans. They give me hope for the world. A few names are escaping me at the moment, but here are some snapshots:

- A beautiful mom dancing at the Barefoot Boogie while nursing her daughter. Her daughter is Solie and she is Renee! (Thanks, Mandaroo!)

- Solie wandering around at the wine tasting with a marker in her hand, and all the adults letting her mark their hands. Frank even let her write on his eyelid.

- Gillian. Too many happy moments to count. She was positive energy personified and made the whole weekend shine, even though I got to spend far too little time with her.

- The little girl who helped me sort the bills in the raffle cash box in exchange for a toy from the Instant Gratification Table. She learned what "sort" and "match" mean, and I got the joy of sharing my Monk moment with a little one. (Side note: She wasn't ready for matching numerals, so we matched presidents' faces, and we talked about the fact that they were presidents, and we talked about why the pictures on some bills were smaller. It was a lovely unschooling moment.)

- Robin working the IGT and buying tickets for the little kids who wandered up without money.

- Randi and Kauleen, soaking it all in. So glad you were there, guys!

- Chloe dancing with Gioia.

- The teenagers. They wandered, lounged, hugged, kissed, laughed, talked, disappeared, reappeared, played with little kids, conversed with adults, helped with everything, stayed up all night, slept in the lobby, organized outings, danced, drummed, and, above all, reminded us all of why we're doing this.

- Carolyn Winkler singing her talent-show song about bald men. She is so vibrant and sexy and fun. I want to be her when I grow up (even though she's probably younger than I am).

2. Our drum circle. I have almost an hour to write about this now, and I don't know where to start! I was nervous. Could you tell? I mean, who am I to lead a drum circle, with my week-old drum and a little Internet research? And then I talked to Caren on the phone.

I should back up a little, clear back to February when Craig and Gillian got me drunk visited. I confessed my nerves about the drum circle. Gillian put me in touch with Caren, an unschooling mom who is—get this—a drum-circle facilitator. That's just how the unschooling world is, folks. If you need it, it's there. Pretty magical.

Anyway, Caren and I hadn't managed to talk until a few days before the conference. And then we did and it made all the difference. She gave me several tips, but the most important of these was the assurance that even when it's a train wreck, it's fun. So I relaxed mostly.

Until the morning of the drum circle. I went down WAY early to set up the funshop room, tried to roust the girls out of bed WAY early, and dragged Frank to the room WAY early to show him what I'd done. And when we walked in, we found my carefully arranged circle, well, unarranged. Poor Mike Biskup! With his sidewalk-chalk funshop rained out, Mary had moved him inside to "my" room, so he rearranged it to suit an arts and crafts funshop. I started spluttering, and he hurried to explain and assure me that he'd put it all back. Keep in mind that he hadn't yet taught me how to reduce my stress! LOL.

So, to keep me sane, Frank and I wandered across the hall to Linda's talk about unschooling and late readers. (Side note: I hadn't intended to attend because (1) I was too uptight about the drum circle, and (2) I thought I knew everything I needed to know about unschooling and late readers. Wrong! I'm so glad Mike needed "my" room! My favorite bit was when Linda showed a quote from some professor emeritus who said written language must be explicitly taught, just after telling us about both her completely unschooled boys learning to read without teaching—explicit or otherwise.)

And then it was time. We had so many instruments! It was lovely. Our neighbors had loaned us their three drums, and we brought a few other noisemaking devices. Other people brought their own drums and whole selections of percussion instruments. The kids who came saw that fascinating little pile, dove right in, and started banging on stuff (while the adults mostly sat in their chairs and waited for a go-ahead signal).

I had a program prepared. I was going to make some introductory remarks and do a little drumming tutorial. But those kids were too into it. There was no way I was going to make them stop! So, I tossed out the program, sat down, and started drumming. Everybody else joined in, and it was a lovely, joyful, rather muddy mess. A train wreck even. Then Renee got up with Solie and spun her around, and we all whooped and hollered at them, and everybody relaxed, and the rhythm came together.

It Was So Cool!

Even the littlest kids were in rhythm. Or perhaps I should say, especially the littlest kids were in rhythm. And we had dancers! And a couple people started this tribal sort of humming that sounded really neat. And Jessie danced and banged the spoons and hummed. And Michael and another couple of people had enough experience to anchor our rhythm. And Frank kept adding these flourishes that, since he was sitting right next to me, would throw me off rhythm, and I'd just laugh.

When we got tired, we'd spontaneously go into this very loud, very fast rumble. And then we'd rest for a bit and shake out our arms. During the rests, I brought out some of the tidbits from the program. And then we'd start drumming again.

For the third round, I passed my drum to somebody else and sat on the floor with the kids to try out the noisemakers. And a few other people swapped instruments. And the beat went on.

In short, it was a rousing, roaring, rocking success that left me high for hours. Days. Writing this has made me high all over again. I'm giving some thought to starting a community drum circle near our house.

3. My birthday note from my new best friend Meah. She's two. She's beautiful. The note is beautiful.

4. The Barefoot Boogie on my birthday. I danced my feet off. MJ's playlist was phenomenally good. The Time Warp! Twice! Our Rockette line that stretched the length of the ballroom for Safety Dance, and the little guy who stood in front of us all, grinning and kicking, as if he just knew that was his place. And it was! Fifty people doing the Cha-Cha Slide. Crisscross!

5. The Teen Panel. I moderated and was so nervous, but the teens were perfectly poised. (First-timers MJ and Chloe participated reluctantly, with both of them insisting they weren't going to answer any questions, and with both of them ultimately fielding at least one.) Two highlights for me were (1) the variety of responses to the drugs-and-alcohol question, ranging from "there's no pressure" to "there's a lot of pressure," but with a theme of level-headedness running through all, and (2) when someone asked the teens what their plans were for the future, and one of my daughters announced that she intends to attend the University of Washington and major in Drama, and the other said she wants to improve her art skills and then get a tattoo apprenticeship.

6. The concert! The set by The Vibrations was very fun, especially their lead-off song, Another Brick in the Wall Part 2. But things really took off when Amy Steinberg took the stage. She puts on such a fun show in general, but when she invited 9yo Akiva to come back out and play drums for one of her songs, it turned spectactular. He instinctively followed the rhythms of her song, adding flourishes or quieting things down at just the right times. Inspired, she sent the boys' dad back out to the car for their equipment and ended up doing a couple of songs with all three of the older boys. It was really cool and an evening I'm sure they will all remember for a long, long time. I know I will!

7. This is probably going to sound bad, but... Barely seeing our kids all weekend. This is a good memory because it shows how fully immersed they were in their friendships and adventures. MJ spent Thursday night at (grown unschooler siblings) Ben and Rebecca's place in Portland, then hung out in various spaces the other nights. Chloe spent most nights roaming the halls with Qacei, Connor Lewis, Trevor aka Josh, and/or Logan 2 (as I've taken to calling Logan McBroom, since "Logan" is already taken by Logan Boswell). Both girls had *such* a good time and turned up often enough—especially at the Barefoot Boogie—for me to get my kid fixes. And they slept in their own bed for a least a little while most nights. :-)

8. Mary's face when she opened the cash box after the raffle concluded. Frank and I had been keeping the box in our room at night, so that was her first glimpse at the amazing generosity of the conference attendees. I had left all the one-dollar bills in the top part of the box, and Mary was fairly satisfied with that pile. Then she looked underneath. Her eyes popped! It was great! (Thanks to everyone who contributed! Especially those who bought 40-ticket "Broc spans.")

9. Many acts in the talent show. If I had to pick a favorite, it would be either the Waynforths' funky Japanese "dance," or Craig and Gillian and Effie singing "Anyone Else But You" to the dulcet tones of Martin's ukelele, or the pentatalia girls doing the Macarena. Oh, or the drummer, who also came to the drum circle and was one of our "anchors."

Forget it, I can't choose a favorite.

10. The talks. I think I went to all but one and I got something out of every single one of them. Pretty cool deal. Mike Biskup's talk about The Work is probably the one that gave me the most food for thought. Have a look!

11. Going wildly out of order here, but... Walking into the hotel when we arrived was pretty cool. It seemed like we knew everybody in the lobby, and it seemed like they were all thrilled to see us. Warm fuzzies galore. Even if they did put me right to work!

12. Sitting on the front steps drumming with Fergus and, later, Effie. Fergus wasn't sure he was interested in drumming until I used my head to bang the drum. Then he thought it was great fun!

13. Introducing LIFE is Good to Logan B. I think he had a really good time, reconnecting with friends from camp, meeting some new peeps, and getting perhaps a smidgen of sleep. I just wish he could have stayed with us longer! Next year we'll get the whole family to come!

Paradiddle

I bought a drum today!

After an hour of two of research into drums, tones, and drum circles, I was psyched to buy a drum for the drum circle I am facilitating in a funshop at LIFE is Good next week. So, Frank did a craigslist search for me and came up with some possibilities. I called Mark in Bothell today and set up an appointment at his house.

When we pulled into the driveway, we knew we were in the right place: his daughter's car has a Shoes bumper sticker on it. :-)
Warning! Video contains profanity, shoe battles, and cross-dressing!

After some deliberation and a discussion about education (Mark has read Underground History... but sent his kids to school anyway???), I settled on the ceramic dumbe. It's kind of funny looking:


but it produces cool sounds. Even when I play it.

The four of us spent much of the rest of the (highly unusual) 90-degree afternoon sitting in the shade learning how to drum. A true unschooling experience!

Drumming has put me in a totally excellent mood. I think I've discovered the cure to PMS.