Gratitude tweets

Thursday, 9/23
Straightforward oral surgery for MJ; Kim, Alyse, Ginger (my #rawfood gurus); quiet afternoon; neighbor kids who mow; freedom. #gratitudelist

Friday, 9/24
A date with Chloe (who leaves tomorrow), MJ feels better, Sean is here, I don't have to get up early, Justin Long. #gratitudelist

Saturday, 9/25
Gorgeous fall day, a walk with Chloe, safe air travel for Chloe, equanimity, the library. #gratitudelist

Sunday, 9/26
Football Sunday, wins (even ugly ones), uneventful trips to Seattle on game day, Twitter fun, happy reports from Chloe. #gratitudelist

Monday, 9/27
Happy multistop grocery shopping, swimming with girls, quiet time alone, productive contemplation, #Castle. #gratitudelist

Tuesday, 9/28
Tired. Having trouble coming up with a #gratitudelist. How about this: There's always tomorrow.

Wednesday, 9/29
"This number has been disconnected," Chloe home for Xmas prob'ly, apricots & almonds, a bigger venue, spitting games w/Rudy. #gratitudelist

Friday, 10/1
Decent work day, sunshine, red leaves, being able to turn to Frank & MJ when I'm overwhelmed, texting with @someonenotchloe. #gratitudelist

Gratitude in 140 characters or less

My friend Laureen inspired me to start tweeting a daily gratitude list. I like it a lot, and I don't want to lose the little hints into our daily lives, so I am gathering them here on my blog. Probably. Maybe. If I continue to care about preserving them.

9/17
Employment in a recession. Patient people. Having many outlets for what I need or want to say. Love of family. Books on CD. #gratitudelist

9/19
Simple pleasures: Morning Pages, green smoothies made greener with Green Goddess, HDS, football Sunday, new beginnings. #gratitudelist

9/20
Friends who share their babies, daughters who come home for visits, e-banking, conversations with Frank, self-compassion. #gratitudelist

9/21
Simplifying, saying enuf, dh who picks up slack, too-short traffic jams thx to wonderfully melodramatic books on CD, MJ home. #gratitudelist

9/22 a.m.
Snuggles w/my *adult* dd, optical illusions w/Emma, sunshine & a full moon on the autumnal equinox, having options, C. Kane. #gratitudelist

9/22 p.m.
Kind text messages from daughters, a job that accommodates my #procrastination (mixed bag), my cozy home, JK Rowling, love. #gratitudelist

Serenity

I'm wearing my Serenity t-shirt today. It means more to me than ever.

Ever since Firefly, the word "serenity" has extremely (extremely) positive connotations for me. It encompasses not only its original meaning but all the honor and humor and family-like bonding from the show.

With my friend Serenity's death from cancer two weeks ago (!), it has come to encompass even more. It is a reminder to live now, to appreciate, to cherish, and to never take for granted. It means not only a state of being but a deliberate act of joy and remembrance.

Serenity = Love

I can't imagine a more wonderful legacy for my friend.

Home

I want to go home. That's what I say when times are tough. Away from stress is what I mean, from conflict and strife and imperfection. But it's not a place I've ever found. Instead, my home is joy.

It's a quiet evening after a busy week, spent reading my own blog and laughing with online friends even though a few hours ago I swore I was "socialled out."

It's a brilliant moment of connection over a spreadsheet, of all things, sharing formulas and optimism with Chloe—she of the healthy savings account who could teach her mother a thing or two about impulse control but perhaps has a few things to learn about being the bad guy.

It's a bottle of cheap champagne, opened perfectly by my laughing waitress, MJ, even though it's her first time to play sommelier. She joins me in a glass and then forgets all about the bottle left standing on the counter, our finest Cook's going flat as she simply lives her life, hardly knowing or caring that she is confounding the dire predictions of teen-phobic people everywhere.

It's talking small but vital details of Our Music with Frank, and the thrill of finding a new passion to share. After all these years!

It's two sisters happily tucked into the basement together, using up all their stolen video minutes and then figuring out what to do next, occassionally sending peals of laughter and a few strange noises floating up the stairs to entertain us.

It's even the damned Christmas tree, its lights shining merrily for one last night before I deal with it tomorrow.

And it is tomorrow, and the promise of another day of discovering the sweet small joys of home.

Thursday 13

13 Things I Am Grateful For This Year

1. Frank's voice. Our conversations. His jokes. His singing. His writing. His quiet words of reassurance when I'm down. All of these have been threaded through my life for more than half my life, and I appreciate them more every day.

2. MJ's walls. Song lyrics. Quotes in Latin. Her own art. Other people's art. Photos. Magazine clippings. Postcards. Posters. She's made her room into a temple of self-expression and creativity. Every time I go in there, I notice something new and get a lovely and intriguing little glimpse into her thoughts, dreams, preferences, or whims. It's fun and inspiring.

3. Chloe's imagination. Thanks to the discovery of an old notebook, we've been reintroduced to Chloeland these last couple of days, the place where everything works the way Chloe thinks it should. She started talking about Chloeland when she was very small, and we would regularly be visited by emissaries from there. It is a rich place indeed and but one example of how her imagination has added color to our lives.

4. Being laid off. It is more than synthetic happiness when I include this on my gratitude list. My layoff has led directly to a year full of personal growth and some much needed healing of some very old wounds. It has also given me the time for a year packed to the rafters with fun, family, traveling, and houseguests.

5. Having a job. It looks like I'll be returning to work sometime in December. Paychecks are good, too.

6. Stan Wilson. I wish this book were still in print so it would be easier for everybody to read it.

7. Friends. Above all, friends. So many people have helped make this year so fun. My gratitude includes (but is by no means limited to):

Exchanging e-mail with Steph. Steph is the one who loves me even though I share my lesser side with her.

Bra shopping with Dana. Finding the right support is important!

Making music with Shonna and Robin and Jacinta. My chicks! Even though Jacinta won't sing.

Visiting the gum wall with the Waynforths. Tasty!

Movie meetups with the Boswells. We are so compatible at the movie theater, we have even run into each other there accidentally.

Midnight concoctions with the Mayers. And everything that goes along with them.

Trick-or-treating Winkler style. This is SO fun!

Crashing in Corvallis. A home away from home with a ready-made unschooling community is a haven indeed.

8. Hard work by Flo Gascon and Mary Gold. Every unschooling conference I've been to has been special. The two I attended this year? Stunningly good! No year that includes LIFE is Good and Good Vibrations can be a bad year!

9. Hard work by cousin Sonya. Last spring, I helped in a very minor way to bring to a conclusion two years of effort by Sonya. The result? A lovely, lovely family cookbook, full of stories, photos, and some damned fine recipes.

10. Music and the people who make it. This year, we added three guitars and numerous percussion devices to our house, not to mention a variety of amps and cables and other paraphernalia. These represent a year of family musical learning and experiences that I will never forget! Discovering guitar with Chloe. Playing "I Don't Like Reggae (I Love It!)" with the family. The 2nd annual LIFE is Groovy drum circle. That first impromptu Greybeards performance. Several *extremely* fun Greybeards rehearsals. And then our exhilarating and hilarious dance party performance at Good Vibrations. Wow! Wow! Wow!

11. Facebook. I'm surrounded by friends every single day. It's amazingly fun. And the double entendres are hard to beat!

Poke!

12. Unschooling. Unschooling. Unschooling.

13. Relatively good news. Tom's cancer? Not grateful for that. That Tom's cancer won't be taking him from us? Very grateful for that.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Complaint-free Friday

This is an interesting idea.

From the Kindness Center:
Today is "Complaint Free Friday." To participate you will need a piece of paper, a pen and self-awareness. If you catch yourself complaining or speaking unkind words (about yourself, others, or the world), please write down three things you are grateful for. This simple technique is a powerful way to generate positive energy and an attitude of gratitude.

Gratitude spotlight

When MJ was little, I had a little conversation with our nephew-son, Jerry. "Do you think Marjie is happy?" I asked. I don't remember his exact reply, but it was much closer to "Not really" than "Of course!"

I think about that moment now and realize what a great gift he gave to MJ and me that day. If he had offered polite reassurances instead of his honesty, there's a chance I would have ignored the instincts that were telling me I had cause for concern. I might have continued blindly down the parenting path I was on, inflicting more and more damage. Instead, he offered a wake-up call that sent me in search of a better way.

Thank you, Jerry.

(Read more about my parenting journey here.)

Gratitude list

Lots of people recommend keeping a gratitude journal as a way of focusing on the positive in your life. Unschooling mom and life coach Rain Fordyce recommends putting at least 10 things on your daily gratitude list and making it in the morning to start your day off right. I'm giving it a try.

I am grateful for:

Wednesday
1. Sleep and our big bed.
2. Facebook and banter with my friends (even though Mindy is probably right that it has Facesucked up my blogging time).
3. The free time I am enjoying before I go back to work.
4. The washing machine that lets me have clean clothes so quickly even when I've let the dirty stuff pile up.
5. MJ having mowed the lawns yesterday, so they look tidy and she got a new CD out of it.
6. Emotional growth (even when it hurts).
7. Having someone to call (thanks, Mary!) with parenting conundrums.
8. Our amazingly rich and full summer 'lineup, even though it intimidates me a little.
9. Poison-green paint in the bathroom!
10. Frank, MJ, and Chloe (as always, every minute).

Thursday
1. Waking up before the alarm went off so I have time to write my gratitude list.
2. Having so many friends and family members who want to spend time with us that our schedule is overflowing.
3. The likelihood that I have a job to return to, even though it means juggling in all those visits is a little tricky.
4. Disposable income (and we'll leave for another day the debate about whether there is such a thing).
5. This here laptop I'm using.
6. The fearless Odyssey and the freedom (and stowage!) it provides.
7. Babies on the way. (No, I'm not pregnant. That would have been worth a blog post of its own.)
8. Hardware Sales in Bellingham where we found (FINALLY!) hula hoop supplies.
9. Having family members who like roadtrips as much as I do.
10. MJ, Chloe, and Frank (as always, every minute).

Thursday 13

Thirteen People and Things I Am Grateful For This Year It's kind of obvious, but it had to be done. 1. The continuing health and happiness of my family, and the huge joy they bring into my life. 2. My friendship with Steph, all 20+ years of it. 3. Judy and Chrissy, for taking care of Marty. 4. My job and the benefits it provides. 5. That Jalen, one of the neighbor kids, is alive. He accidentally hanged himself a few weeks ago, horsing around with his brother, and had to be transported to Harborview. But he's okay now. 6. Mary Gold. Her writing and her efforts in organizing the LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference and her annual Non-Cons are largely responsible for the good unschooling life we're living now. Plus, she's just a good friend to all of us. 7. Kelly Lovejoy, for giving me the opportunity to stretch my wings and discover some new old friends. 8. Caren, for the drumming. 9. Randi, for listening and for letting us feel a part of her journey. 10. I didn't need a root canal. 11. My new, Europe-inspired perspective on American prices. (They're really not that high.) 12. Ireland's ability to live up to my high and exceedingly romantic expectations. It would have hurt to let go of my Ireland-related daydreams. 13. Barack Obama won the election, and I have some (cautious) pride in our country again. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Gratitude

Sandra has been doing a weekly Wednesday gratitude post. Today, I am inspired to join her.

Today, I am grateful for:

1. Approximately 63,893,037 votes.


2. Young people like MJ who give their money and time to support the ideals they believe in, even though this country doesn't recognize them as capable of contributing.

3. Like-minded friends and relatives who host fun parties and inspire Frank to make crab dip and shrimp étouffée.

4. The Internet.

5. Hope.

Thursday 13

Thirteen Things I'm Glad I Own (or share ownership in) We have some friends who are gearing up to set sail on their catamaran, the s/v Don Quixote. They've been purging belongings, in stages, for several months, realizing with each purge that the things they found essential last time are just not. I lack their perspective. I have many, many essential belongings. Here are 13 of the most essential. My MEBs. 1. My books. I am not one of those people who can read a book and call it done. No sirree, Bob. I read decent books at least twice, and I read good books... well, I haven't found a limit yet. 2. Ten thousand photos. They're jumbled, stacked, piled, stuffed, tucked away, saved to disc, boxed up, packed up, scattered about, and even occasionally framed or put into albums, and every one of them is precious. Especially photos of my babies! (at any age) 3. My bed. Our bed. The marriage bed. Haven, heaven, honeymoon, home. This is where I sleep, enjoy my books, read with my kids, talk with my kids, snuggle with my kids, sleep with my kids (rarely these days), contemplate the universe, and, above all, revel in and renew the force and solace and source that is my precious marriage to Frank. Plus our new bed is damned pretty. 4. The Super Toilet. Yes, it's sheer indulgence. Yes, it was too expensive. But oh how I love our Toto Washlet! Try sitting down on a heated toilet seat in the middle of a cold January night, just once, and then tell me it isn't an essential item! (And our friends like it, too!) 5. The computer. As a kid, with a dad in the industry, I had the privilege of playing with one of the first personal computers ever. I've been hooked ever since and now can't imagine life without one. This is where I WRITE, people! 5b. The wrist brace that lets me use the computer without agony. 6. Our video entertainment paraphernalia. Compared to the more video-oriented members of my family, I barely watch any TV at all, but our TVs and players and library of movies are cherished possessions nonetheless. We have movies to suit any mood, and having them *right there* when I need them is a pleasure. 7. My eyeglasses. The trees have leaves. My daughters have eyelashes. I can proofread billboards. I can see the computer screen without squinting or leaning waaaay forward. My eyeglasses are a wondrous thing. 8. My Crocs. Actually, all my shoes. But especially my Crocs. Hmm, it's about time for a new pair... 9. Certain treasured items of clothing. My Seahawks jersey, my Firefly t-shirt, my LIFE is Good t-shirt, my ancient but comfortably oversized "Windows 2000 Resource Kit" button-down shirt, my plush and racy-red bathrobe that Frank bought for me. Wearing these items never fails to make me feel good. Comfort clothes. 10. Our Sonicare toothbrush. I haven't had a cavity since we went sonic years and years ago. (knock wood) (yes, I know an atheist shouldn't be so superstitious, but I am ever All About the Contradictions) 11. The washer, dryer, dishwasher, microwave, and refrigerator. I lived on a boat without these for a while. (No, the boat refer does not count.) I appreciate them very much now. Very much. 12. The stuff in my hopechest. Mementos, letters, dried wedding flowers, newspaper clippings, baby clothes. It's our accumulative time capsule. 13. The jewelry Frank has given me over the years. Especially my wedding ring. This was one of the easiest TTs I've done. :-) Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants