MJ's Summerhill

Today, Frank and I were very pleased to finally be in a position to do something special for MJ! After consulting with my cousin—Seattle professional photographer extraordinaire Cory Parris—we went shopping for the perfect digital SLR. (Okay, perfect in our price range.) MJ liked the feel and function of the Nikon D40, which was second on Cory's recommendation list after the Canon EOS Digital Rebel XT, but the Nikon was a bit lighter, fit her hands better, and had a more intuitive menu.

We got home from the store about two minutes ago. Being electronics savvy, MJ popped in the memory card and battery and headed immediately outside to learn by doing. That's an unschooler for you!

Update 9:30 p.m—Some early shots:

Socialization

From the American Heritage Dictionary:
socialize
TRANSITIVE VERB:
1. To place under government or group ownership or control. 2. To make fit for companionship with others; make sociable. 3. To convert or adapt to the needs of society.
INTRANSITIVE VERB:
To take part in social activities.

One of the questions homeschoolers hear often is, "But what about socialization?" The question usually encompasses all of the definitions above except the first one (although perhaps that one ought to be examined just a titch). This lumping of definitions means that the question also encompasses a number of assumptions, such as:
(1) School makes kids fit for companionship and for society.
(2) Positive social activities happen for every child in school.
(3) Homeschooled kids are isolated to such an extent that they will not be fit for companionship and society, nor will they get to take part in social activities.

Our societal belief in the first two assumptions is pervasive and virtually unchallenged. In fact, over the last few years I've been struck again and again by how often people accept such societal beliefs without even thinking about them. No logical reasoning is applied. Someone said something to me the other day about "drinking the unschooling Kool-Aid," implying that unschoolers are brainwashed or cultish or perhaps even doomed. Personally, I've seen far more evidence that indicates that we, as a society, have been drinking the school Kool-Aid!

So, I'm here to offer a dose of antidote for the assumptions listed above. I suspect that even listing the assumptions has prompted my readers to see their flaws, but I'll enjoy pointing them out anyway.

(1) School makes kids fit for companionship and for society.

Ahem. Actually, maybe I won't tackle this one myself. Here instead are a few quotes from John Taylor Gatto's "Underground History of American Education."

"By the end of the first quarter of the nineteenth century, a form of school technology was up and running in America’s larger cities, one in which children of lower-class customers were psychologically conditioned to obedience under pretext that they were learning reading and counting (which may also have happened). These were the Lancaster schools... They soon spread to every corner of the nation where the problem of an incipient proletariat existed."

"As I watched it happen, it took about three years to break most kids, three years confined to environments of emotional neediness with nothing real to do. In such environments, songs, smiles, bright colors, cooperative games, and other tension-breakers do the work better than angry words and punishment. Years ago it struck me as more than a little odd that the Prussian government was the patron of Heinrich Pestalozzi, inventor of multicultural fun-and-games psychological elementary schooling, and of Friedrich Froebel, inventor of kindergarten. It struck me as odd that J.P. Morgan’s partner, Peabody, was instrumental in bringing Prussian schooling to the prostrate South after the Civil War. But after a while I began to see that behind the philanthropy lurked a rational economic purpose."

"In the first decades of the twentieth century, a small group of soon-to-be-famous academics, symbolically led by John Dewey and Edward Thorndike of Columbia Teachers College, Ellwood P. Cubberley of Stanford, G. Stanley Hall of Clark, and an ambitious handful of others, energized and financed by major corporate and financial allies like Morgan, Astor, Whitney, Carnegie, and Rockefeller, decided to bend government schooling to the service of business and the political state—as it had been done a century before in Prussia. Cubberley delicately voiced what was happening this way: 'The nature of the national need must determine the character of the education provided.'" (emphasis added)

In other words, American schools were, in fact, designed to socialize kids—into factory workers. The students' fitness as companions has never been a goal.

(2) Positive social activities happen for every child in school.

Oh, I hope no one actually believes this. It simply isn't true. I'll take myself as a case in point. I went to a decent suburban school where there was virtually no violence. I was a successful student. I was reasonably happy in school. I had some fun. I was mildly popular ('though that one is harder to write, because I always felt like an outcast).

I had nightmares every night the week before my 10-year high school reunion.

Imagine what school was actually doing to me if it could have that effect on me ten years later. Imagine what school does to the kids in schools that aren't essentially safe places, to kids who aren't so successful, happy, enaged, and popular.

At my 20-year reunion, one woman wouldn't leave her hotel room because she was overcome with guilt over the way she had bullied her classmates.

And then there's the idea that school is a place where kids can be with their friends. That is also not true! School does not foster social interaction; there are dozens, even hundreds, of rules that prohibit it. Classroom management and school administration is very much about controlling and stifling the natural response of kids who find themselves in the company of other kids—that is, laughing, talking, playing, socializing. (Does the phrase "Stop socializing" sound familiar to anyone? I heard it more than once when I was in school.)

Here's a good example: The Federal Way, Washington, school district is contemplating a ban on iPods and cell phones. District reasoning runs as you might expect, with reference to distractions and text-message cheating, but the ban would cover not only classtime but time between classes and during lunch. Where does their reasoning fit into that? What's really happening is a change-with-the-times expansion of the district's anti-social-interaction ruleset.

Another good example: Classes in MJ and Chloe's elementary school were rewarded for walking the hallways in straight lines with no talking.

(3) Homeschooled kids are isolated to such an extent that they will not be fit for companionship and society, nor will they get to take part in social activities.

Over the years, the media has provided us with a few stories that seemed to support this assumption. There have been some much-publicized cases of child abusers who isolated their children from society and called it homeschooling, and the news stories about these people often carry the implication that these parents' freedom to homeschool gave them the freedom to abuse. Educators line up for the chance to say so on national television. It's bullshit, pure and simple. After all, most abused children are in school. I don't mean their abuse happens there (although it can and too often does), but it happens. School or no school, child abuse happens.

Rather than being about isolating our children, homeschooling is about putting our children into the real world. Instead of being confined to a room with kids their own age, our kids have friends of all ages. Homeschooling families have access to an increasingly vast network of peers, resources, and facilities. I'm sure many homeschooled parents wish their kids were more isolated, because all the running around they do makes for a busy life!

The reality is, homeschooled kids are only as isolated as they want to be.

Our family experience provides a good example. We are a somewhat insulated family, relatively homebound (when we're not out chasing hurricanes), so you might put our routine at the "isolationist" end of the homeschooler social spectrum. Knowing what you know about us and reading the brief history that follows, you might see that it's not very isolationist at all.

In the early days of our unschooling, MJ and Chloe were still in touch with their friends from school, and we had regular get-togethers with them. Those connections dwindled as time went on, and for a couple of years, the girls were perfectly content with the social activities our lifestyle naturally provided (cousins and other relatives, neighbor kids, family friends, Kendo devotees, boat yard and marina workers, sailors, park rangers, etc.). Then last year, MJ expressed an interest in widening her social circle. Chloe didn't much care, but she's gone along for the ride.

I found Hope for Horses, MJ's home away from home, where she has become very close to the adults who run the charity. I can't count the people that involvement has brought into her life, from veterinarians to farriers to musicians to movie makers.

I reached out to the unschooling community and Frank reached out to the cruising community, and we formed friendships with families all over the area. Chloe attended Summerhill School and formed friendships with kids from all over the world. MJ attended the Not Back to School Camp and formed friendships with kids from all over the country. Then we attended the unschooling conference, where a lot of those connections came together in one place (yes, there was even another former Summerhillian there), and discovered what a community of people we have become part of.

And then there's the community we're not part of, the more traditional homeschooling community, with its clubs and co-ops and meetings and potlucks and seminars. It's there, anytime we want it.

The result of this less homogenized socialization is kids who are comfortable talking to people of all ages. Sure, homeschooled kids like hanging out with other kids—and that is definitely a generalization to which there are numerous exceptions—but they don't automatically reject a newly met adult as a potential friend.

Yesterday, at a little gathering of unschoolers that I orchestrated at a park in Monroe, kids sat chatting with us moms at least half the time (with the rest of their time spent running around the tennis court and playground with the other kids in joyful abandon). The kids ranged in age from 12 to 16; nobody's age mattered, nobody was too cool to play, nobody was too young to be included.

Why do people cling to the idea that socialization only happens in school?
I have my own theories about why people cling to this idea so vociferously. There's the self-aggrandizement or self-delusion of the educational establishment. There's the self-protection of adults who suffered in school and can't face the prospect of it having all been for nothing. There's even my conspiracy theory about our government's continuing need for an obedient proletariat. But I'm afraid the real reason is simply that many of us are too well schooled to question our beliefs.

For any who are ready to start questioning, this page provides links to studies that support the ideas in this post:
http://atypicalhomeschool.net/general-information/the-cultural-myth-of-socialization/

Blog neglect

I know, I know, no posts in weeks. Sorry! September is always a busy month for us, usually with at least one birthday party each weekend. This September has been even crazier because I had a big deadline last Thursday. I made my deadline, but that's about it for my news because I've spent so much time at work.

MJ and Chloe have been quite the social butterflies. In addition to all the birthday parties, they've had a couple of get-togethers with some of the kids from Not Back to School Camp. They spent one afternoon in Seattle, first in the University district and then downtown at the new library and beyond. There was a pack of about 12 of them, and they ended up having so much fun together that they organized an impromptu slumber party at one boy's house (a boy who obviously has very accommodating parents). That was so much fun that MJ and Chloe invited several kids over here for a sleepover the next week. It ended up being 5 girls and one outnumbered-and-loving-it boy.

As you can see, we have definitely entered the teen years. It's going to be fascinating.

Perhaps because of all this new exposure to other kids, we've had two different colds hit various family members this month. I got both of them, of course. Fortunately, the second one didn't attack until after my deadline.

Frank has been working pretty consistently, doing a second pass on all the files they threw at him so hurriedly in order to make one of their legally mandated milestones. But he's finished that now, so he should get a couple weeks of getting paid for being on call. I'm sure the girls wouldn't mind a tad bit more attention.

MJ continues her work at Hope for Horses. She got to be one of the bosses the day 30 or so Microsoft employees showed up at the barn for the Microsoft/United Way Day of Caring. Also, HFH is gearing up for their annual fundraiser auction, so she helped put together the packets and invites for that. She plans to work the auction, so we went to our favorite thrift store to find appropriate attire for an event at Bellevue's swank Meydenbauer Center. Mom and daughter disagree just a bit about what "appropriate" means. I found her this gorgeous, 100% silk Georgiou dress that looks fabulous on her -- the steal of the century at $5 -- but she thinks it's too boring. She prefers a cute spaghetti-strap number in blue (that I think is a bit casual). Her opinion will no doubt rule the day.

That thrift store is so fun! The three of us spent about $70 total and ended up with six dresses, a skirt, a jacket, and several shirts between us. All like new. Love it!

As you might have noticed, Chloe has not returned to Summerhill. In late August, she started expressing serious reservations about going back. We had a number of conversations about it, and Frank and I shared our best advice ("Go back"), but ultimately she decided that the good times she had there didn't outweigh her loneliness and boredom and some things about the school that made us all uncomfortable. (Here, I'll just say there was an incident that left us with serious doubts about the headmistress' competence. If you want the gossip, send me an e-mail.)

So, we have our daughter back. We felt compelled to advise her to go back, but Frank and I couldn't be happier that she ignored our advice! :-) She's been filling her time with the usual Chloe Variety Pack, but the last week or so has been devoted to watching over a hundred episodes of Inuyasha (anime) on YouTube. She is quite excited about it and now wants to learn Japanese. She's already putting together a bit of vocabulary, just from reading subtitles. The series is set in feudal Japan, so we've made some neat connections to other video ("Shogun" especially) and Dad's sword-based Japanese martial arts.

She's also conducting a bit of an experiment on herself. All this Inuyasha watching has taken place mostly at night, so she's started charting her sleep hours to see if her body runs on a 24-hour clock or not.

Anyway, all is well at our house (except maybe our upper respiratory systems).

Unschooling and chores

An unschooling friend pointed out that the following sentence in my previous post makes it seem like we require the kids to do regular chores: "She's discovered things she likes better at Summerhill -- no chores there...."

Well, this is biting off a big mouthful, presenting all this to a mostly non-unschooling audience, but I'll give it a go. Just bear in mind that the topic of chores is one that inspires hours of debate and discussion even among those of us committed to unschooling. I'm probably not going to convince you that this approach is right, but by the same token, you won't be able to convince me that it's not. With that understood, here we go.

To clarify, while chores do get done at our house (eventually), we no longer believe in assigning them to specific people. Frank and I chose this lifestyle -- having a house with a lawn, eating in, using stoneware and stainless instead of paper and plastic, etc. -- and we tend to set the standards for how that lifestyle should be maintained. We are, therefore, ultimately responsible for maintaining it. That's it, the bottom line.

As part of our family, the kids often voluntarily contribute to that maintenance, and when company is coming over, we all participate in the fire drill that makes the place guest-ready. Beyond that, the "chores" that the kids "must" do are things like occasionally hauling all their stuff to their own rooms, carrying dishes to the sink or dishwasher, and bringing me their dirty laundry.

Some unschoolers don't ask their kids to do even that much. Or if they ask, the kids are free to be too busy. It's all about respecting that the child's needs of the moment are as important as the parent's needs of the moment, and fostering an attitude of cooperation and joyful sharing of tasks. My schedule tends to be too tight to allow for that ideal flexibility. If now is the stolen moment when I have the time and willpower (an elusive combination) to start a load, now is the time the girls had better bring me their dirty clothes. However, they are free to choose to go without clean clothes for another week, and to accept the risk that one week might stretch into two.

I suppose I'd better talk about teaching responsibility, since that's what people always ask: How will your kids learn how to be responsible if they don't have any responsibilities? My answer is that OF COURSE my kids have responsibilities. Responsibility is unavoidable, and anyway, avoiding it is not something they have as a goal. Without external force being applied to them, my kids care, create, work, clean, correspond, keep schedules, remember details, pick up slack, invent, investigate, and help out. Making them do the dinner dishes once a day is not going to improve on that. Especially when they probably would have preferred cheese pizza on paper plates. :-)

Do Frank and I wish we had more help? Of course! What parent doesn't fantasize about having faeries that clean up all the messes overnight? Are we willing to assign, remind, harangue, harass, and punish in order to have that help? No way! Talk about time-consuming, nasty work! Ugh. Anyway, the peace of our family is not something to be sacrificed in the name of passing the white-glove test.

Even in our frantic moments, we try to help-because-we-love. And in our better moments, we are able to remember that everything we do, we do because we choose to. I don't clean the bathroom because I have to, I clean it because I like having it clean. Or because I like my kids to have a clean bathroom. Or because I don't want Frank to feel stuck with it. In my better moments, every chore I do is a gift to myself or someone else.

Filling in the blanks

Well, my blog posting has been somewhat sporadic recently, so I've got some blanks to fill in.

Marty
Marty moved to his new home at Heritage Manor on Monday. Here's Judy's report, sent Tuesday:

"We got dad moved in yesterday. Right now he's sharing a room but he's on the list for a private room as soon as one comes available. We got there just in time for lunch & he chowed down. He wanted to hang out in the hall with the rest of the gang afterwards until bingo. Gary & I went back this afternoon to do the paper work. It was worse than buying a house!

"He's using one of their wheelchairs but we're going to get him his own. I need to speak with one of the therapists to be sure I get all the right amenities... I hope to get his phone transferred this week. We still need to move his stuff over... We'll be getting a report from the therapists after they've had time to make an assessment...probably at the end of the week."

The foal
The foal's name is Hero. He's healthy and sassy and will no doubt feature prominently in an all-day fundraising event this coming Saturday. MJ is volunteering at their booth there. She's going to spend Friday night out at Hope for Horses so she can ride down to south Seattle with the owners.

Oh, there are a couple of photos of MJ, and even one of me, on the Hope for Horses Web site here: http://67.59.174.44/index.php?page=home She's right there on the home page, wearing the ballcap. Then click Our Volunteers to see the one of the two of us visiting with Faith's older baby and her corral-mate. It was taken at the volunteer appreciation BBQ 7/15.

Chloe's first week at home
Last Wednesday, Grandma hosted a welcome home party for Chloe out at the beach. It was a sunny day, although a bit cooler than the 90's we had been having. Still, all the kids got in the water. I stuck to wading, although Angelo (my mom's dog) and Bentley (the dog next door) did their best to share the water with me. I remember swimming in Puget Sound as a kid, but it's hard to imagine being willing to do so now. That water is COLD!

Chloe's friend-since-Kindergarten Gabrielle joined us for the party. It's been a while since we've seen her (at least 3 months!), so that was really nice. She's at North Middle School now, I'm sorry to say, but she seems to have adjusted well. And she's quite the soccer star, playing for a local league for soccer prodigies.

Other than partying, Chloe has been settling back into life in America. She's discovered things she likes better at Summerhill -- no chores there, and she says she is generally treated with more respect (we're working on that) -- but she's clearly happy to be with us again. We've been eating all that good food she requested, getting her caught up on the House episodes she missed, and just hanging out together.

Social weekend
Friday night, the girls and I attended a bridal shower for Tom's grandniece, Ryan. It was held up in Mt. Vernon in a lovely log building with adjacent Zen garden, and it was a nice gathering. Randi, our hostess, was amazingly calm. Must have been the Zen influence. :-) The wedding will take place in Grand Coulee in early September.

Saturday, Frank's cousin Mary and her fiancé Steve hosted their annual backyard BBQ. It was great to see so many Maiers in one place (even if it was only a small fraction of the clan). Sonya and Robert were there with new baby Anja and adorable 3yo Heide, so we got a nice infant-and-toddler fix. It kind of bummed me out to see the smart, talented, and very good looking teen generation of Maier males, though: My daughters don't get to marry one of them! (Hmm. I just checked the Revised Code of Washington and, legally speaking, second cousins can marry. I still think it would be too weird, though!)

The parade of pirates
Nearly a month ago, my brother asked me to explain about the parade we participate in on the 4th of July, and I don't seem to have done it. So, Nick, sorry for the delay, and here's your answer: Every year, one of my mom's neighbors organizes a kiddie parade down the road. Kids of all ages turn out for it, and the decorations and riding-mower-drawn floats have gotten steadily more elaborate. Three or four years back (hmm, after the 2000 elections maybe?), our crowd abandoned red-white-and-blue and began dressing up as pirates. Nowadays, a pirate-ship float and candy throwing have become part of the routine, and our supply of pirate clothing and accessories and weapons has grown to impressive proportions. I don't have a picture here at work, but I'll try to dig one out and post it later.

Snowball and the boys
Snowball is doing very well. She had to have her verrrrry long teeth trimmed, and she didn't care for the procedure one bit, but she's bright-eyed and eating well now. And the boys are settling in nicely. They aren't (much) afraid of our hands any more, and Snowball has taught them how to lick treats off of human fingers. They still get confused and nip now and then, but their teeth aren't lethal yet, fortunately.

They are still in separate-but-adjacent cages and will probably remain so. Snowball has *probably* reached menopause, but rats can produce as many as 20 babies in one litter, so we'd rather not take any chances. They socialize through the bars a bit, and they get daily supervised nonconjugal visitation.

Work
Frank's weird project continues. He regularly has days where they're paying him to be on call, with no work ever turning up. And he occasionally has days where he's working well into the night. Either way, it's money in the bank. (Kind of a bummer that it's all going to end up in Summerhill's bank, but Chloe is clearly having a unique and fulfilling experience, so we try not to think about it.)

My work is going well, too. After 2-1/2 years with this team, I definitely know more about the products than is good for me -- I am solely responsible for two huge projects that are due at essentially the same time!! -- but it's a good team to work for. My boss is a dream manager: a personable, creative, flexible realist. This Friday, we're moving to new offices. It's a classic Microsoft move: our new space is two hallways away, and we'll be even more crowded there. Too silly.

I hope you are all doing well. Drop us a line!

All is right with our world again

Chloe is home!!!

After an all-night farewell party at school and a *really* long travel day, Chloe arrived safe and sound in Seattle earlier this evening. She is full of stories and laughter and eager to dive back into regular life here. She's especially looking forward to the food; we hit the grocery store this morning to stock up on all her special requests (things ranging from Cornish game hens to lemon meringue pie to strawberries).

Right now, she's asleep in her own bed after having a bath in her own tub. I hope she'll sleep through the night and avoid the whole jetlag thing. It'd be nice to have a little time with her tomorrow! :-) I'm taking a couple days off for that purpose. Frank isn't sure yet what his work schedule will be like -- they don't know more than an hour in advance when they're going to need him. Anyway, we'll put together some fun family time. We don't have any firms plans for what to do except that, tomorrow, we're going to see Pirates 2 again.

A long chat with Chloe

Big doings at Summerhill this weekend. It's Half-Term Weekend, which essentially translates to "Big Party that Parents Can Attend." The kids voted to make Friday and Monday "slobbing" days like the weekends always are, which means no classes and later wake-up and bedtime times. There are activities planned for each of the four days, as follows:

Friday night -- The Midnight Walk -- Large pack of Summerhillians roaming about Leiston and the English countryside after dark.

Saturday

* Half-Term Crafts Sale -- Poc ("pocket money") will be handed out a bit early so the kids can spend it all at the sale. Proceeds benefit the school.

* Archery Competition

* Miss Half-Term Talent Show and Party -- Yes, boys can be crowned Miss Half-Term, too. Chloe, Ellie, and Popono will be performing a Summerhill version of "What Do You Do with a Drunken Sailor," with verses tailored for each of the 5 age groups at the school. Chloe says they are suffering quite a bit of stage fright.

Sunday -- Races and swimming games (field day)

Monday -- Football (soccer) match and Capture the Flag

Parents who attend will either camp on the grounds or stay at the pub in town. I know from the traffic on the parents newsgroup that the parents have a few activities planned, too, including a meal in the Jazz Cafe (on the school grounds) and something about a late-night kitchen raid. Wish we could be there for the fun!

In other news, Chloe seems happy and settled. She's making friends. Some of them are younger than her, which works out nicely since Chloe is never very interested in teen conversation and the younger kids need an escort to walk to town. She spent a day last week with Little Ruby (yes, ~85 students but two Rubies) listening to music by Harry and the Potters and Draco and the Death Eaters. Obviously a kindred spirit there!

For some reason, not all of the laws (school rules) are written down, so she occasionally blunders. The only time she's been punished, though, was for oversleeping one morning. Some of the older kids are "Beddies Officers." It's their job to (1) wander the school -- all 11 acres -- at bedtime making sure everybody heads to bed, and (2) shake out the sleepyheads in the mornings. All students are supposed to be up and dressed by 8:30. Chloe's penalty for sleeping in was a "Small Job" -- 20 minutes helping out with housework.

Something I didn't know before: The Beddies routine includes bedtime kisses-on-the-cheek upon request. The Beddies Officers try to avoid this part of their duties, which I'm sure makes the other students determined to make demands. Chloe said one Beddies Officer got so flustered by kissing one of her top-bunk roommates that he fell off the ladder. :-)

Chloe is regularly late for bed, but apparently there's no penalty if you're late because the Beddies Officers didn't find you in time. Chloe makes them work for it, having cozy little thinkin' spots out in the woods and way up by the entrance. (As you can tell, they all spend a lot of time outdoors.)

For the first time today, Chloe seemed pretty sure that she's going to want to go back for Christmas Term. There goes the budget! But I do want her to have a term where she's not the new kid.

Which didn't stop me from blubbering a bit when I got off the phone. I miss her!!!

A poem from Chloe

"hello from school"

school
unusual
megalomaniacal
miserly
evilly weird people
rainy
high spots
idiotic boys
laughter

Random details -- with 5/11 updates!!

The name of the volleyball team is Hot Sauce. Their uniforms (t-shirts) are red.

No foal yet. This may mean bad news. They're going to do an ultrasound and see.
Update: The foal is alive! Ultrasound indicates he's got a couple more weeks to "cook."

No word from Chloe yet. This probably means good news. I'm calling her tomorrow to be sure.
Update: No one is answering the kids' phone at Summerhill, so I have left a message for and sent an e-mail to her houseparent. I also put a Howler (scolding) into snail-mail yesterday -- I know Chloe will read that!

Mezza is completely recovered from her surgery, and her hair is growing back in. Man, did I ever say that the lump was benign? Well, it was. Yay!

We are totally hooked on House, M.D. We recommend renting the DVDs for the first season and having a House marathon. Great cinema!

Beta software is the bane of my existence. (Tough day at work today.)

Frank got our fence rebuilt! It blew down in a windstorm a while back.

I miss Jaffa Cakes!! (Ah -- turns out the ones I *really* love are McVities Jaffa Cake Bars. Looks like I can get a 5-pack on eBay for about $14. Or maybe not.)

More England photos, by request

In town


Phones near Picadilly Circus


The Piazza at Covent Garden


Taken from a community garden off Charing Cross Road (click photo to enlarge)


Fortuitous timing


The Millennium Bridge, footbridge over the Thames


Chiara and the boy who wouldn't grow up, Kensington Gardens
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In the countryside


Woodbridge, the village where we did our marketing


On one of the public footpaths


Somerleyton Hall, home of Suffolk's most eligible bachelor, the right Hon. Hugh Crossley, future Earl Somerleyton


A restaurant in Leiston, near Summerhill


Sign for one of the infamous roundabouts -- you're supposed to glance at it as you go by at 60mph and figure out which branch is yours. Sorry for the blurry photo, but this is about how legible these signs are at speed anyway. :-)

Volleyball victories

Last week, Frank laid down the law to his volleyball team: pass to your teammates and quit criticizing each other. A couple of girls were right pissed off -- during the game, they let balls that came to them fall at their feet, in true teenage drama queen fashion. Those girls have now apparently quit the team, and the result has been a complete transformation of the team. At their match yesterday, the remaining girls were smiling, bopping around the court, serving, passing, and returning with skill and verve, and just plain having FUN. It was really terrific to see. *And* they won all three games by a large margin. Turns out the terrible twosome had been terrorizing the team.

In other news, yesterday was the Sons of Italy charity-fundraiser spaghetti feed. MJ helped out there all day (so she missed the volleyball fun, unfortunately) and had a grand time. She and my nieces bussed tables and took tickets and were very gracious hostesses. Frank and I just went for the food and to support the cause. It makes me a little melancholy to go there, since it was at the feed two years ago that we made the connection that brought Chiara into our lives. But at least I got to see her last week, and we have every hope that she'll come for a visit this summer.

Radio silence from Summerhill. This is supposed to be a good thing -- the kids only call home when they're unhappy -- but I'm still bummed. Maybe as the novelty wears off Chloe will do a little more emailing and blogging.

With MJ involved in Italian activities, Frank and I had a date for Cinco de Mayo. We walked over to the neighborhood Mexican place and were actually able to get a table. We ate way too much and ingested a bit more tequila than we had intended -- I think the margaritas were double-strength -- but it was nice to have some couple time.

MJ is really settling in at Hope for Horses and becoming a valued member of the organization, from all appearances. In addition to her barn work, she has been helping out in the office, putting together auction packets and returning calls to potential foster parents. A recently rescued mare, Faith, is due to foal any day. (She's underweight, so they're not sure how it will go.) Not wanting to miss the action, MJ spent some extra time at the ranch last week. On Thursday, she helped them take one of the mini horses -- loaded into the cargo area of an SUV! -- to his new foster home over on the Olympic Peninsula. His new foster family? The Nordstroms. Yes, those Nordstroms. So MJ had a bit of a brush with Washington-state royalty.

And I made it through my work week, despite continuing jet lag. I have seen more sunrises in the past week than I've seen in the last 20 years. :-)

Hope all is well with all of you. Let us hear from you!
Ronnie

Chloe's first day of classes

I just talked to Chloe on the phone. She sounds like she's having a good time. Today was the first day of classes, but she only has one class on Thursdays, I guess -- art -- so she didn't have much to report. They spent the time sketching out ideas for a project where they turn an ordinary object into an animal (I think that's what it is). She says she also signed up for history and science and some "doing things" classes -- hands-on activities, I gather.

Last night, a bunch of kids slept outside in tents. They're having good weather, but it still got pretty cold during the night. She said she and Ruby (a British girl who lives in Portugal) didn't get to sleep until about 2.

Over in Class 2 -- it's sort of her homeroom -- people are making or decorating Lord of the Rings figurines, and playing Dungeons and Dragons. Silas, a 12yo British boy, is one of the dungeon masters. I met his mom, Joy, when I was there. She said that Silas talked himself hoarse on his first day at Summerhill; he'd never been at a school before where nobody told him to be quiet. :-)

And it seems like they walk into Leiston with regularity. The drinks at school are "horrible" so they walk the eight blocks or so to the market and buy juice drinks there that they can keep in their cupboards. The universal favorite -- with very good reason -- is J2O. Very delicious stuff. My favorite is apple-melon. It tends to be a bit pricey, though, so they ration it out.

Michael, a former student or part-time staffer (Chloe wasn't sure which), is building a giant spiderweb on the school grounds. They've poured concrete and set poles and will be stringing big ropes. When it's complete, all the "spiders" will be allowed to climb on it.

Anyway, she sounded good. She's picking up the accent already and making friends with all the girls. (The boys, she seems less interested in.) So I'll try to stop worrying for a couple of days. :-)

Photos plus London, day 1

Well, I can't seem to get in the mood for writing up a complete trip report, so I'll just post what I wrote after our first day in London. But first, here are some pictures (hover over pictures to see descriptions, or click the photos to see larger versions):

London

Mad cows of Ufford

Summerhill

Lowestoft on the North Sea

Saturday in London

Greetings from Lower Ufford!

Well, the cottage is everything it appears to be in the listing. It's very cozy and private, nicely appointed and clean and pretty. The 800-year-old Ufford Church is just behind us, the 18th-century Dower House is in front, a pink thatched-roof place is to the left, and a rabbit-inhabited shrub-and-grass area and the large Dower House daffodil garden are to the right. Dower House is a family home; there's a swingset and trampoline in their other yard, and their dog Molly greeted us when we arrived. She's very sweet and was thrilled to see us, but she stopped short of coming into the Granary's yard. We found out later that that's training; they don't want her bothering the guests.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Our day today didn't begin at the Dower House Granary, it began in London. Or in Slough, to be exact. As I said before, the hotel there was fine. We had a nap after arriving from the airport, then went down to the hotel restaurant for dinner. The food was unexceptional, the prices something of a jolt (and I thought I'd prepared myself for London prices). We ate, then went back to our room for Laffy Taffy and Snickers bars (courtesy of Papa Tom) and an early bedtime.

This morning, Chloe popped awake at 6 a.m., so we decided to get on our way. We were packed and checked out and on the road by 7, then I had my first go at driving on England's "motorways" -- aka "freeways" or "expressways" to my American compatriots. Well, motorways are a piece of cake! No roundabouts!!!! And at 7 a.m. on a Saturday, virtually empty. The only trick was remembering that here, it's "Keep *left* except to pass." Washington state drivers would fit right in.

Chloe and I had settled on parking the car at Epping, the end of of the Central Tube (subway) line. Turns out Epping is a quaint little village well outside of town, so navigating and parking were easy. Well, there was one exception: I forgot momentarily that right turns are the turns that require caution and cut right in front of some poor guy. Fortunately, he was alert and quick on the brake pedal, so we escaped mishap. I'm hopeful that the big scare I received has drilled a lesson deep into my tiny little brain.

With that excitement over, we popped into a Shell station to buy something, anything, in order to break a 20-pound note and have change for the Tube carpark (parking lot). We settled on some fabulous "biscuits" -- Jaffa cakes, they're called -- dark-chocolate-frosted cake cookies with orange jelly filling -- and a bottle of chocolate milk. Just the sort of breakfast a growing (in the wrong direction) girl needs.
So, we parked, figured out the Tube ticket dispenser, and got right on a waiting train. The trip to town took about 40 minutes, which we spent reading and being happy, then we climbed up to street level and got our first look at London.

We started off on Oxford Street and on down Regent Street. This is an upscale shopping and business area, with lots of snazzy shop windows to look in. Of course nothing was open yet -- it was about 8:30, I think -- but we had a lovely stroll, watching all the double-decker buses go by, down to Picadilly Circus. That, too, was fairly quiet, relatively speaking, but it's still a bustling area with lots of traffic noise. We took obligatory photos in front of Helios' horses and the central monument (I'm drawing a blank on who that was dedicated to), then continued walking.
Next stop was Trafalgar Square, where we saw some more impressive statues (George IV comes to mind) and took pictures of the National Gallery. One kind of funny thing: One of the lesser statues is of George Washington, donated to Great Britain by the Commonwealth of Virginia. It seems a bit strange for Virginia to have donated a statue of a man that Brits must consider a traitor, but that's us cheeky Americans for ya.

From Trafalgar, we headed up Charing Cross Road. This was one of the highpoints of Chloe's day, because we think we found the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron. It's described in one of the Harry Potter books as being between a book store and a music store, and we found just such a place, in a rather unprepossessing little cubbyhole on the otherwise trendy street. Just the sort of spot those wily wizards would choose to throw us Muggles off.

After a stop for lunch (at 10 a.m.!) at a nice little cafe -- we both had toasted sandwiches, mine cheese and tomato, Chloe's sausage -- we went over to the Piazza at Covent Garden. Loved it! Once upon a time, this series of halls -- huge glass-roofed bays that are mostly open air but lined with enclosed shops -- was home to bustling, crowded fruit and vegetable markets. Nowadays, it's trendy shops and arts and crafts booths, but it's still bustling and crowded. The architecture of the shops is a real treat. We went into one that had archways between rooms that weren't much taller than Chloe.

I imagine Brits take it all in stride, but the age of everything here is really impressive to me. There's a pub still in operation in Covent Garden that was founded in 1623, and the famous Punch and Judy Pub was established in 1787 or so. I remarked at one point that the brick streets off the Piazza are probably older than the USA.

From Covent, we followed my sense of direction (usually a pretty risky thing) and actually ended up right where we wanted to be: on the banks of the Thames. We passed through Victoria Embankment Gardens to come out right at Cleopatra's Needle. Chloe got very excited to see that, too, because it features prominently in the second Bartimaeus book. I got very excited to discover that it's a real Egyptian obelisk, from Alexandria, a treasure that was actually a gift from Egypt, bestowed by Viceroy Mohamed Ali, no less.

We then strolled along the Thames, watching the ferry boats and the big Eye of London mega-ferris wheel while eating soft-serve ice cream cones with yummy chocolate sticks as garnish. We saw a nice monument -- dedicated to those so few who did so much for so many in the Battle of Britain -- the Old War Office and Ministry of Defence (gorgeous, huge old buildings), and arrived at Big Ben and the Houses of Parliament just in time for the noon chimes. We couldn't have timed that better had we planned it!

Westminster Bridge and Great George Street were PACKED. Can't imagine what it must be like during peak tourist season. But we shuffled our way along and went around the other side of the HoP, where we got a nice bobby to pose for a photo with Chloe in front of a triumphant (and yes, Frank, probably misrepresentative) statue of a triumphant Richard the Lion Heart. They incidentally were also posed in front of several gorgeous 30's-era cars that were all parked at the HoP for some reason.

From there, we crossed over to Westminster Abbey. Neither of us was interested enough to stand in line to go inside, so we ducked into adjacent St. Margaret's Church instead. It was lovely and grand, and the organist was practicing, and we got to SIT DOWN for a while. A very pleasant stop. Oh, and our pew was labeled "Members of Parliament" so we got to have delusions of grandeur (?) for a moment.

After our rest and some discussion, we headed up Victoria Street to Buckingham Gate and across to Buckingham Palace to visit the queen. She wasn't "at home" for us unfortunately, so we had to settle for pictures in front of the gates like everybody else. The guards with the big furry hats were too far away to appreciate the way I wanted to, though. :-(

There was one moment of drama at the Queen Victoria Memorial fountain in front of the palace. Some tourist had left his big duffle bag unattended. By the time he came back for it, the cops had cleared the immediate area and gotten on their radios for a bomb squad (I'm guessing). Silly tourist was scolded roundly then sent on his way.

Chloe and I left the palace plaza by walking around the corner along the wall of the palace gardens. It's secure enough, with spikes and barbed wire and on-high motion detectors supplementing 12 or 15 feet of brick wall, but Chloe thought the big trees next to the wall looked climb-able (with some sort of spiked assistance), and from there, she figured she could do the squirrel thing to the trees inside the garden. I think if she were queen, she'd give it a try, except she'd do it to get out of the palace without anyone knowing.

Rounding out our first day in London was a stroll under Wellington Monument (a big arch), then we returned to the Tube and rode back out to Epping and the car.

And then we found our way back to the M11 and out a couple of secondary highways to Lower Ufford. I successfully negotiated about a dozen roundabouts and made only one wrong turn (easily rectified at another roundabout), so I didn't do too badly.

The market in this teensy little village closes at 1 on Saturdays, so we haven't yet stocked up on "self-catering" supplies. That being the case, we walked down to the White Lion pub for dinner. We both had fish and chips, and it was really terrific. We learned some things:
1) Carlsburg beer is really nasty, and Stella (or is it Stellar?) is pretty good.
2) Orange pop is called "Fanta" even when it's not Fanta.
3) The fish in English fish and chips (or White Lion fish and chips, anyway) has skin on it under the batter, but we love it anyway.
4) Ketchup is ketchup. Heinz and everything.

Oh! And the other thing I learned today that I just have to share: Crocs are the best shoes ever in the whole history of shoes. I walked for, what, 7 or 8 hours today, and my feet do NOT hurt. In fact, I took an evening constitutional tonight. Pretty impressive, eh? My bright yellow feet sure do get a lot of funny looks though! That might have something to do with Chloe's bright green feet being right next to them. :-)

Note to Schuyler: Thank you for the Highway Code link! That really helped!

Arrivals

I am home safe and sound, and Chloe is happily tucked up at Summerhill. I just got mail from her, and she says she is doing great. Not many details offered yet, but she's having fun and not doing any of the panicked sobbing I was imagining as I boarded the jet at Heathrow. :-)

Right now, I'm trying to convince my body that it's time to be awake for breakfast, so I'll write more later, about our siteseeing and driving adventures, Summerhill, and England. And I'll try to pick a couple of photos to post, out of my 300 or so choices.

Cheers!

Going out like a lion

Well, March is about done. Here's what we've been up to:

Networking
The girls and I have been getting together with a bunch of fellow unschoolers, kids ranging in age from 2 to 17. It's been fun, educational, and fascinating, and we've met some terrific kids (and their terrific moms). It's very cool to see the wide range of interests -- not to mention clothing and hair styles -- unschoolers have. They all seem to have one thing in common, though: their openness to new people of all ages, new topics of conversation, and getting out and doing new things. A couple of the girls are going to the unschooler summer camp that MJ (Marjie) is planning to attend; they might all ride down to Oregon on the train together.

Other social outings
We've had some great times lately with friends from the past. Patti, an old indexing buddy of mine, had us over last weekend for dinner, conversation, and video games. Her 12yo son, Noah, and their rather large kitty kept us company. The weekend before that, we got together with Frank's former boat partner, Jerry, his wife, and their four grown sons. One of the guys is into drawing, and when he found out MJ has written a fantasy novel, he had her write out descriptions of some of her characters so he can draw them up for her. We can't wait to see what he comes up with. He was also intrigued by the green vampire cats Chloe dreamed up.

Miscellany
The MR2 had to go in for repairs (cracked exhaust manifold). Frank got our home network set up (the other kind of networking), plus ran cable TV to the girls' rooms, so we are totally wired now. I've been procrastinating doing the taxes. (It takes a lot of time to do procrastinating right, you know!) The neighbor kids practically live at our house. And, of course, we've been getting Chloe ready for Summerhill. We've filed all her paperwork, paid her bill (gulp), and made all of our travel arrangements. This weekend, we'll try to get fired up about doing her packing. Less than 3 weeks til we leave.

Family notes
Chiara is coming to England to see Chloe and me!!!!
Jerry should be back in NC in May, gets leave in June!!!!
Colin is 11 days old!!!!

Book recommendation
If you're curious about unschooling and want to read a lovely little book that shows what it's all about, try Parenting a Free Child by Rue Kream. It's set up in question-and-answer style, so it's easy to read in short bursts. I think Rue really captured the way unschooling can transform your family relationships and lifestyle for the very much better.

Catching up

Well, I've certainly let this thing get out of date!

All right. As I'm sure you all heard, the Seahawks were not the declared winners of the SuperBowl. We all hold them as the winners in our hearts, though! (A friend of mine here at work is a Pittsburgh fan and feels pretty outnumbered, so we'll leave it at that.)

Big gigantic news: Chloe has been accepted at Summerhill School, an alternative private school in -- get this! -- England. Oy! She leaves us at the end of April and will be gone for THREE MONTHS. Her "mum" is just a bit distressed, but also happy that Chloe will have this wonderful experience. If you want to check out the school, you can look at their website, but I'll warn you that it is not a very good site. (Read A.S. Neill's book _Summerhill_ instead!) The site is http://www.summerhillschool.co.uk.

So, we've been busily filling out forms and filing for visas and trying to adjust to the idea of losing her.

This past weekend, we had a little spur-of-the-moment baby shower for my sister, whose baby is due in March. It was very fun to buy boy clothes for a change! ;-)

Marjie is pursuing life as an extreme sports enthusiast. She bought herself a snazzy Tony Hawk skateboard and signed up for a Spring Break week of field trips to rock climbing, paintballing, skateboarding locales. (A combination of those three sports would make quite a triathlon, wouldn't it? But they're separate in this case.) She is also campaigning for a dirt bike but finding her parents a bit too Summerhill-strapped for cash at the moment.

No movement yet on the sale of the ZP, but spring is coming.

Anyway, we're all happy, healthy, and living life. Hope you all can say the same. Drop us a line!