The "Must Learn" list

Is there anything you think kids must learn?

In this post last month, I said no:

It's that old question about whether there is anything that kids MUST learn. I think the answer is "no," because as soon as you put something on that list, you take away from the kids the unfettered, creative right to determine for themselves what has value in their lives. And learning *that* is the most important learning of all.

But this subject keeps coming up lately. Since I've been revisiting it mentally, I thought I'd revisit it publicly, too.

I suppose I really do have a few items on the Must Learn list. I think all people should learn how to:

• Listen actively even when bored
• Be kind even when _____ (fill in the blank)
• Read
• Use a calculator, or do simple calculations mentally, or some combination of these
• Add gas, oil, and tire pressure to the car
• Navigate a Web site and use a search engine
• Juggle funds and anticipate expenses so that the bills get paid mostly on time
• Do at least a few of the things on Neil Gaiman's list

There you have it. I've made a curriculum.

Now we come to the important question: What am I going to do with it?

I could package it up and try to make my living convincing parents that their kids will be abject failures and face hideous consequences if they don't learn these things. I could develop tests to go with my curriculum, and offer diplomas to people who score well enough on the tests. I could foster an entire industry of remedial instructional programs to "help" kids who aren't making the grade. All of that is what our education system does (and if you think their curriculum is any less arbitrary than mine, watch this slideshow).

Or I could be like your average school-at-home homeschooler and sit my kids down at a table every weekday morning (and sometimes on Sundays) and have them do worksheets and read dry texts about my chosen educational goals. If I were really enlightened, we'd go out and pop the hood on the car for a little variety.

I could spend hours agonizing over my kids' progress. I could infect them with worry and a feeling of inadequacy. I could tell them they need to work harder, buckle down, apply themselves, realize their potential, do better, be more like their siblings or cousins or neighbor kids, focus, shape up, measure up, pay attention, and above all stop fooling around. I could tell them that they are BEHIND, that they are WRONG, that they are RUINING THEIR LIVES, that they are WEIRD SPECIAL, or (gag me) that they just need a little more help than most people.

Oh! I know! I could punish my kids for not learning these things, or not learning them well enough. I could restrict their activities, and spy on them, and yell at them every day! Yeah! That's the ticket! I'm sure that will make their lives rich and full and successful!

NOT.

No, we're not going there. First off, I don't think we need to. Whatever my kids' Must Learns are (and I am fully prepared for their lists to look very different from mine), well, they will learn them! And even if they don't...

Suppose they don't learn some of the things on the list...

Then what?

The old Zen proverb goes like this: "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water."

I think we can borrow from that wisdom. "Before the curriculum is created, live and learn. After the curriculum is created, live and learn."

What other choice do we really have?