What unschooling looked like this weekend

The chosen unschooling day for this month is Saturday, June 16th, but I'll include Friday and Sunday, just 'cause fun stuff went on then, too.

Friday
MJ went with me to work. While I did my "chores," she hung out in a nearby empty office, listening to music, reading, and writing, then the two of us went to cousin Sonya's for a product party. Sonya's friend Sarah is selling Body Shop items, with the focus of this party being our fabulous feet. So, MJ and I did the beauty thang for a couple of hours, soaking and slathering our feet, and then (in my case) spending what was probably a silly amount of money on lotions. We'll see what I end up actually using. :-)

Conversation at the party covered a wide range of subjects: free trade, product testing on animals, child-rearing philosophies, the "terrible" twos (I have never found them terrible), Sonya stories (I had the best ones, since—except for her mom, Grace—I was the one there who has known Son longest), recent Popes, Germany (there were a couple German women there), international moves, and Catholic marriage and annulment rules.

Hmm. I have no idea how Chloe spent her day. Well, I have some idea—I'm sure it included reading, writing, and/or activities on the laptop—but I don't know exactly. Okay, I asked her. Friday evening, she watched "Shop Around the Corner" with Frank, and then she spent the night watching "Inuyasha" anime and Akira Kurosawa's "Seven Samurai"—the latter having been inspired by her recent passion for eating ramen, added to a mention of Toshiro Mifune (one of the stars of "Seven Samurai" and Japan's greatest film samurai) in one of her manga books. She also read and wrote fanfiction.

Saturday
MJ and I got up early, grabbed Chloe (who was still up), and hustled down to Qwest Field for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure. What a great time! We joined the 5K walk (there are also competitive runs) and found ourselves part of a phenomenal crowd of people. We got to the start line about 20 minutes early (despite being definite last-minute registrants), so it wasn't until we had hiked up the viaduct and could look back that we got to see exactly what we were involved in. There was a sea of pink and white shirts as far as the eye could see! The turnout was tremendous! I think half of Seattle was there!

The course goes up onto the Alaskan Way Viaduct, with all its great views of the waterfront, West Seattle, the ferries, and the Sound, and then loops back down around to the party at Qwest Field. Being up on the viaduct was really fun. When they weren't walking arm in arm with me, the girls were right up on the side ledge, looking down at the waterfront and (on the return half) the walkers coming up behind us. We waved like madwomen and watched all the amazing people: men, women, and kids of all ages, races, religions, and sexual orientation, with most people wearing hot pink signs bearing the names of the breast cancer survivors and victims they were walking to honor. We saw teams from businesses, the Teamsters, a mosque, and a bunch of family-and-friend groups. Very inspiring! You can all count on being invited to join our team next year!

Jean Enersen, a local newswoman, was one of the masters of ceremony. She said Seattle has both a higher-than-average breast cancer rate and a higher-than-average cure rate (90%!). And the race brings in more than two million dollars!

After the race, we enjoyed the Seattle Seahawks Blue Thunder drumcorp at the finish line, then wandered inside the stadium for the rare treat of being down on the football field. There was a big band orchestra playing, and the field was dotted with sponsor booths where some fun free stuff was available: bagels and water from the organizers, Yoplait yogurt, key chains from the Boeing credit union, signed Seagals posters, pink bracelets from the Shane Co., and Swedish Fish from Swedish Hospital.

We returned home (after a quick indulgence stop at Starbucks—love those caramel Frappucinos!), had a moment's rest, and then got ready for a swimming party. One of MJ's volleyball teammates hosted a little bash at her family's indoor pool. We all enjoyed each other's tasty food contributions, the kids and the coach swam for hours, the rest of us chatted, and a visitor dog ended up nearly getting stuck in the oily, smelly mud of the nearby slough. Great fun!

Chloe napped some at the party, which I'm sure the other parents found a bit odd, but then I found their school stories a bit odd, too. One girl on the team was recently punished by the school for a "Step 4" offense, meaning an offense that is worse than Steps 1 through 3. Other Step 4 offenses include things like vandalism and assault. She was humiliated in front of the whole school and prohibited from attending the last school dance, and her parents were asked to come in for a conference. Her offense? Chewing gum on her way off school property at the end of the day.

Another mom talked about the wasted time spent at her daughter's school on some loosey-goosey behavior review. Kids are given the opportunity to publicly tattle on any other kids who interfered with their schooling, then the accused kids get disciplined, and a note is sent home to their parents that says they didn't "make their day." The mom says the system is rife with flaws, including excessive tattling by certain kids and the fact that students spend half an hour a day or more on this process, which amounts to 90 hours each school year!

The girls and Frank and I discussed all this in depth on the way home.

After a quiet hour or two at home—Frank and Chloe napped, MJ and I watched TV—we went out to the drive-in picture show. Going to the drive-in is always a fun family evening marred by inconsiderate moviegoers (headlights and engines on during the show, cigarette smoke wafting into our car, people leaving early to avoid the exit line that can also be avoided by waiting five minutes after the end, etc.), and last night was no exception. Also, the movies were, at best, mindless entertainment ("Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" and "Ocean's Thirteen"). But no regrets! We pulled the van in backward, lifted the hatch, and sprawled on cushions and pillows in a big heap of Maiers. The back door makes a great rainshield, too!

There was an SUV full of kids in the stall next to us. They were cleancut and attractive, around 16 or 17 years old, wearing Hollister t-shirts and blowing their lungs away on clouds of cigarette smoke. Sad.

We got home about 2 a.m. and collapsed into our beds. Well, MJ collapsed on the couch because she is in the middle of rearranging her room; her bed is covered with posters and photos awaiting attachment to the walls.

Sunday
Father's Day! We slept in until 11, so we didn't have time for much more this morning than getting ready to go out to the beach. We spent a pleasant afternoon at my mom's, helping Tom, Frank, Erik, and Chris celebrate fatherhood. Pork roast, pesto, and a pack of kids. (That last item was not on the menu!)

This evening, I'm cycling loads of laundry and blogging, MJ and Frank are gone to play volleyball at the Baptist church in Seattle, and Chloe is developing her latest manga idea—one based on her own life. She says she is exaggerating all of our character traits to make us more interesting. :-)

Academic translations
I hope this isn't necessary! The benefits of and learning involved in a busy weekend like this should be obvious!

But maybe not. A few years back, we had a busy period, and I got concerned that my kids weren't learning anything because we never had time to do what I thought of as our "learning routine"—that time spent at home with access to books, the Internet, the library, the TV, the art and math and science supplies, and what have you. I posted this concern to one of the unschooling discussion groups and got myself (gently) scolded. "Let me get this straight," another mom responded. "Your kids are busy and happy, with lots of activities and social time, with their parents right by their sides to support them and answer questions, but you're worried they aren't learning?"

I had to be reminded to see the trees for the forest!

The kind of learning that happens during a weekend like the one we've just had isn't easy to quantify. It's about community, contribution, and involvement. It's about conversational skills and tolerance (e.g., how to be polite when someone thinks daycare or school is the best place for her kid), traditions and routines, exploration and experimentation, and finding balance in a busy world. It's about LIFE.

For the sticklers, it was also about physical fitness, medicine, women's health, skin care, interpersonal communication, general science (e.g., our discussion of tachyon beams at the drive-in), sociology, comparative religion, art, fashion design (Chloe has to costume her manga creations), interior decorating, parenting skills (something that ought to be taught in school!), creative writing, Japanese history and culture, German geography and language, mathematics, educational (?) philosophies, and, of course, community service.

To learn how to donate to Susan G. Komen, click here.

Weekend connections

(Obviously, today has been my day for blogging! I've even written a couple of posts I'm saving for another, less loquacious day.)

We've had a good weekend!

Friday night, Frank and I had a date. An honest-to-goodness, grown-up date! It was great. We went to the Celtic Bayou in Redmond, an Irish/Cajun pub we've been wanting to try. The spicy shrimp appetizer and Frank's crawfish etouffee were WAY better than my beer and corned beef and cabbage, so we have to recommend their Cajun food over their Irish food, but it was a good meal nevertheless. And the bread pudding is Really Good! Next time, we'll just have appetizers and dessert!

Saturday, we split up for separate commitments. Frank and MJ went to their last volleyball game (they lost, but it was a good game). They thought there would be a party afterward at the restaurant owned by the team's sponsor, but that didn't come off, so Frank used the extra free time to install my fancy toilet seat. It was a classic home improvement project—three times more challenging than expected, with two trips to Home Depot—but he ultimately met with success. It's a great addition to our house!

I went with my mom over to Thorp (a teeny little town in Eastern Washington, just this side of Ellensburg) for my cousin Thom's graduation party. He got a BA in psychology from Central Washington University. The party was held at our Uncle Ross and Aunt Patti's house and was a nice gathering indeed. It rained on us some, which is not very usual for the area, but that passed and the sun came out as the afternoon continued. My grandma especially enjoyed the day; you could see her loving every minute of having her brood around her. Five of her six kids were there, plus an assortment of grandkids. Nice!

As for Chloe, well, she had intended to go to the party with us, but the reality of her 8:30 wakeup call proved to be too much for her. Instead, she hung out at home and did her own thing. She and MJ have really been bonding over something recently, but I'm not sure what! They spend hours camped out in the basement (which looks like a tornado went through), watching an odd mix of movies (e.g., Sabrina and the Blair Witch) and hunching over the laptop together.

Today has been FUN, FUN, FUN. I've spent an amazing amount of time with my family considering I've barely left the computer. :-) In addition to blog posting and finally getting STUN initiated, I've got us all registered for the 2008 LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference. Yes, it's a year away, but we're still Very Excited about it. Counting down... And it's fun to think about the flow of time then: after the conference, I'll have four days of work left before my 100-day break.

We also made a trip to the library today. I needed to stock up on Books on CD (or CDs on Tape, as I persist in calling them) so I can bear the upcoming week's commuting. I'm considering riding the bus one day a week, too, which—despite some major transit improvements in our area—would involve four hours on the bus. I'd definitely need some entertainment for that!

A busy week ahead: In addition to working, I'm getting my hair cut Tuesday night (way belatedly), we have our first STUN meeting Wednesday, the girls and I are taking Grandma for her Birthday Shopping Day Wednesday afternoon, I've got an appointment to donate blood on Friday afternoon, and cousin Sonya is having a product party Friday night. And that doesn't count whatever we come up with for the weekend!

Doings

We had a pretty big weekend. Aeron, Mera, and Jaime (my buddies from the unschooling conference) came over to spend the night Saturday night. Late that night, we were joined by MJ, Madelyn (16), Marty (18), and Conor (17), who had been hanging with each other since the conference, with time spent both in Corvallis and on Whidbey Island. They crashed at our place after spending a long evening in Seattle. We didn't get to see much of them, unfortunately, because Madelyn and Marty got up about 8 to head back to the island, and I dropped Conor at the train station so he could ride back to Oregon.

Sunday morning, Frank left very early to help some people move their new boat from Blaine to Bellingham. It was a rather ill-fated trip, involving low wind (despite there being big wind seemingly everywhere else in the region), engine trouble, a long and expensive tow, and a certain lack of provisions for what turned out to be more than 12 hours on the water. He didn't make it home until nearly midnight, tired and sunburned but fairly philosophical about it all.

Their misadventure put something of a kink in our plans to host a party for a group of sailing/cruising families. I ended up hosting alone, and all but one of the families ended up bailing (no pun intended). So, it was a much smaller party than we expected; we'll be eating spaghetti until the end of time. But it was still a nice enough gathering.

The kids, their parents, and I drove down to the waterfront to watch the kiteboarders playing off Jetty Island. Did you know that Everett is one of the premier destinations in the world for kiteboarders? It is always really fun and sort of fishtank-soothing to watch them, with their colorful kites doing sky ballet. It seems miraculous that they never have collisions, or at least not often enough that I've ever witnessed one.

Last night, we got to visit briefly with my mom and Tom who are, at long last, back from their latest southwest tour. We've missed them, and the girls are really looking forward to a renewal of our regular beach visits. And Angelo the dog is thrilled to be home; he ran around like a crazy thing when he realized where he was.

Today has been a quiet one. Frank worked, then he and MJ went to volleyball practice. Chloe did Chloe things and, to my not-so-secret relief, put off our planned session of amateur hair dyeing. (She's going to try cinnamon-red this time.) I did some party cleanup and checked my email regularly, because I'm waiting for word on my return to work. I'm hoping to set things up so I can take May off, too, with a nice, cushy job with my old team ready for me in June. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

We've finished off the day with a Heroes mini-marathon. MJ had to get caught up because she missed last week, then we watched tonight's very exciting episode. Only three episodes left in the season! Ack! I predict a cliffhanger...

Random details -- with 5/11 updates!!

The name of the volleyball team is Hot Sauce. Their uniforms (t-shirts) are red.

No foal yet. This may mean bad news. They're going to do an ultrasound and see.
Update: The foal is alive! Ultrasound indicates he's got a couple more weeks to "cook."

No word from Chloe yet. This probably means good news. I'm calling her tomorrow to be sure.
Update: No one is answering the kids' phone at Summerhill, so I have left a message for and sent an e-mail to her houseparent. I also put a Howler (scolding) into snail-mail yesterday -- I know Chloe will read that!

Mezza is completely recovered from her surgery, and her hair is growing back in. Man, did I ever say that the lump was benign? Well, it was. Yay!

We are totally hooked on House, M.D. We recommend renting the DVDs for the first season and having a House marathon. Great cinema!

Beta software is the bane of my existence. (Tough day at work today.)

Frank got our fence rebuilt! It blew down in a windstorm a while back.

I miss Jaffa Cakes!! (Ah -- turns out the ones I *really* love are McVities Jaffa Cake Bars. Looks like I can get a 5-pack on eBay for about $14. Or maybe not.)

Volleyball victories

Last week, Frank laid down the law to his volleyball team: pass to your teammates and quit criticizing each other. A couple of girls were right pissed off -- during the game, they let balls that came to them fall at their feet, in true teenage drama queen fashion. Those girls have now apparently quit the team, and the result has been a complete transformation of the team. At their match yesterday, the remaining girls were smiling, bopping around the court, serving, passing, and returning with skill and verve, and just plain having FUN. It was really terrific to see. *And* they won all three games by a large margin. Turns out the terrible twosome had been terrorizing the team.

In other news, yesterday was the Sons of Italy charity-fundraiser spaghetti feed. MJ helped out there all day (so she missed the volleyball fun, unfortunately) and had a grand time. She and my nieces bussed tables and took tickets and were very gracious hostesses. Frank and I just went for the food and to support the cause. It makes me a little melancholy to go there, since it was at the feed two years ago that we made the connection that brought Chiara into our lives. But at least I got to see her last week, and we have every hope that she'll come for a visit this summer.

Radio silence from Summerhill. This is supposed to be a good thing -- the kids only call home when they're unhappy -- but I'm still bummed. Maybe as the novelty wears off Chloe will do a little more emailing and blogging.

With MJ involved in Italian activities, Frank and I had a date for Cinco de Mayo. We walked over to the neighborhood Mexican place and were actually able to get a table. We ate way too much and ingested a bit more tequila than we had intended -- I think the margaritas were double-strength -- but it was nice to have some couple time.

MJ is really settling in at Hope for Horses and becoming a valued member of the organization, from all appearances. In addition to her barn work, she has been helping out in the office, putting together auction packets and returning calls to potential foster parents. A recently rescued mare, Faith, is due to foal any day. (She's underweight, so they're not sure how it will go.) Not wanting to miss the action, MJ spent some extra time at the ranch last week. On Thursday, she helped them take one of the mini horses -- loaded into the cargo area of an SUV! -- to his new foster home over on the Olympic Peninsula. His new foster family? The Nordstroms. Yes, those Nordstroms. So MJ had a bit of a brush with Washington-state royalty.

And I made it through my work week, despite continuing jet lag. I have seen more sunrises in the past week than I've seen in the last 20 years. :-)

Hope all is well with all of you. Let us hear from you!
Ronnie

A tale of taxes, vball, and trip prep

Just a quick update--

Trip prep is coming along, although I haven't had any time for packing yet. Lots of work, last-minute taxes, Emma's birthday party (Happy Birthday, Emma!!), and egg-related activities have to come first!

Oh, yes, and Coach Frank and player MJ's volleyball team had their first games today at the Boys and Girls Club. Everybody's skills are coming along great -- there were several volleys that had the audience on the edges of their seats. This is a 7th-8th grade division, so they play with the regulation (big) net, but the rules are still weird to force the games to go fast. The as-yet-unnamed team won one and lost two.

Chloe and I leave Thursday evening. We have to find some time to write her name on all her clothes, although we hear that there's not much chance she'll come home with the same clothes she takes. Evidently the communal laundry gets distributed to whoever needs something to wear. We're also going to figure out how to dump pictures from Chloe's camera to her computer so she can post to her as-yet-unpublished blog. (I'll share the address of that when she gives the okay.)

Grandma has flown south to have some bonding time, so she and Chloe have said their good-byes already. They had a shopping outing together. Chloe got a cute orange spring dress that she has been wearing almost nonstop.

Oh, and we are a Crocs family. I'll try to post a picture before we leave.

"Ta" til I get back from GB. Happy Easter!!

Ronnie

P.S. Baby pictures have been removed due to parental privacy concerns.