Doing the Evergreen

The girls and I spent yesterday at the Evergreen State Fair. We ate and rode rides until we were green around the gills. A fine day!

The high(?) points:

* The Scrambler!!! This is a family tradition -- it's always the first ride we go on. (Two summers ago, Chiara -- newly arrived in America -- found our passion for it just a bit puzzling.) The girls are big now, so they took the outside and I got the joy of squishing them for a change.

* Visiting the pig barn and admiring the cute little babies, then turning around to see recipe posters and pamphlets prominently displayed.

* Walla Walla burgers!!! It's all about the onions, baby.

* Shriners corn on the cob!!! It's all about the butter, baby.

* Riding the Yo Yo at sunset. Gorgeous territorial views!

* Taking turns swinging the sledgehammer-bell-ringer thingy. Macho we are not, but we all won prizes anyway. Mine is a big blow-up sledgehammer that says "Girl Power."

* Seeing the Clydesdales and Percherons all hitched up and doing their thing.

* Hearing bits of "Footloose" from the Kenny Loggins concert at the grandstand.

* Finding a booth that was selling Crocs and getting to see all the colors in person. They have silver now! And the baby-sized ones are adorable (but sticker-shock-inducing at $25/pair).

* Buying the girls tacky $8 air-brushed straw cowboy hats. Yee haw!

* Taking my junk-food hangover and the remains of my Mother Goose handstamp into meetings at Microsoft today.

The fair runs through Labor Day at the fairgrounds in Monroe. We give it three thumbs up!

On a lighter note

One more Nazi quote

"...Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

Hermann Goering, attributed by Gustave Gilbert

On my so-called confusion

The Republican speeches coming out of Washington (via Utah) as the anniversary of 9/11 approaches are, in my opinion, reprehensible. Keith Olberman has written a response that says most of what I want to say. Read it here: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/12131617/

He closes with a quote from Edward R. Murrow that bears repeating (again and again and again, if necessary).

"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty."

Evidently now we need a new version: We must not confuse dissent with stupidity, just as we must not confuse a person's occupation of high office as proof of his intelligence or honesty or, indeed, morality.

Here are some other quotes that bear contemplation:

"It is the absolute right of the State to supervise the formation of public opinion."
- and -
"Think of the press as a great keyboard on which the government can play."
--Joseph Goebbels

"What luck for rulers, that men do not think."
--Adolf Hitler

Work/camp

About a week ago, Frank got word from his manager that his "one-month" contract, which had already lasted two-and-a-half months, would go on for another eight to ten weeks. Then last Friday, she asked if he's available until next June! Since this job regularly involves full-time pay just for being on call, we're jumping on that offer. We're trying not to count on anything -- it's Microsoft, where nothing is ever written in stone, and this is just about the weirdest project ever -- but we intend to enjoy the extra paychecks for as long as they last.

I picked up four rather dirty, very tired, very happy unschoolers from the train station Monday night. MJ is sad to be home! She had a fabulous time at camp, made lots of friends, and is counting the days until next year. Her four new best friends are from Minnesota -- evidently a big Minnesota contingent comes out every year -- so she's hoping to travel out there sometime. (Should I be concerned that these friends are all boys? Nah.)

Some highlights from the camp:
* Each camper was "fairy godmother" to another camper, leaving him or her notes, small gifts, and so on. The fairy godmothers' identities were never revealed.
* The campers spent a lot of time entertaining each other. MJ has lots of pictures of colorful characters doing flamboyant things (songs, acting, squirrel impressions). They also spent time making each other more colorful. One boy went home with blue hair, two others ended up with spiky mohawks (or maybe one of them arrived with that), a girl with waist-length hair got a shoulder-length bob, and one boy had his ear pierced with the old apple-and-needle technique (and his mom's permission). MJ came home looking pretty much the same as when she left (six holes in her ears and formerly-blue blonde streaks in her brown hair).
* At the prom, nearly everyone wore dresses. Yes, including the boys. :-) She's got some hilarious photos. One boy had this Marilyn Monroe look going on, with blonde wig and tiny red dress; he looked gorgeous!
* At the beach (a field trip out to the coast), the kids buried each other in the sand. MJ has a really cool photo of herself and three or four other kids, all buried into the same huge mound.
* One night, they played "Unconditional Love," a game where half the kids close their eyes and the other half goes around hugging people. Then they switch. It's evidently pretty cool, because you don't know who's hugging you, so you just relax and accept the hugs without the pre/misconceptions of identity.

Since she got home, Frank and I have learned some new vocabulary. An "emo" is a goth-like person who is full of emotion. "Nu Ma Nu Ma" is a bouncy song, in Romanian, that is evidently all the rage. And "skeet" is a bad word. (Hint: MJ cracked up when, during a conversation yesterday about Grandma and Papa's upcoming hunting trip, Frank made a passing comment about "shooting skeet." When Frank said it, it meant firing a shotgun at a clay pigeon. The teen meaning is a good bit more sexually explicit than that.)

As predicted, Not Back to School Camp has been educational for all of us! Chloe will be old enough to attend next year. MJ is looking forward to sharing it all with her.

One year after Katrina

The media is doing a pretty good job of showing how much recovery is left to do in New Orleans and along the Gulf Coast, so I'll just mark the anniversary of Katrina with a couple of anecdotes and a poster baby.

Our friend Bob has spent the past year embroiled in recovery efforts for his properties uptown, plus his mother's house in Gentilly and rental house in Chalmette. He discovered a few days ago that there is a cutoff on August 31st: remodel/renovation projects that don't have building permits by then have to adhere to the new building standards. The new standards involve raising buildings onto stilts or posts and expensive stuff like that, or more probably razing the old house and starting over, so he became very concerned. How could he possibly get all the inspections, structural engineering, and so on in just a few days?!

Well, he didn't count on good old free enterprise. When he left whatever government facility he was visiting, he found a line of electrical inspectors, structural engineers, and contractors, vying for his business, carnival-barker style. With a little old-fashioned New Orleans greased-palm wrangling, he just might make it.

Bob's second story is about his recent visit to his mom's rental house in Chalmette. As you may know from the news, Chalmette is still in a ravaged state. The houses are in bad shape, debris and trash line the streets, and blue-tarp roofs abound. So Bob was standing in this wasteland, no doubt wondering if recovery is even possible, when he heard the faint drift of tinkling music: the ice cream man was making his rounds. It must have been like landing in a Bergman film. :-)

In closing, I'll let a friend's grandbaby sum up what we think needs to be done:

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Note: These t-shirts are available from New Orleans-based www.metrothree.com. Proceeds go back into the community.

Ernesto takes aim at the Keys

Tropical storm Ernesto is expected to strengthen as it leaves Cuba then run over the Keys sometime tomorrow night. A hurricane watch is in effect throughout the Keys and along the east coast of southern Florida.

On the bright side, the storm has shifted somewhat to the east, aimed right at Miami. This means Key West and the Zombie Princess will probably be in the better quadrant of the storm, since the area south and east of a hurricane is usually the worst place to be.

In other boat news, the yard where the boat is stored has been sold and we've been given 30-day notice to vacate. This morning, we talked to Vanessa, our broker, and she said the local gossip runs toward the new owners being developers who are trying to circumvent the state moratorium on converting boatyards into condos. Regardless, it seems like we have to find a new home for the ZP. Vanessa has a guy who is interested, so keep your fingers crossed that finding her new home will be somebody else's problem!

MJ is on her way to NBTSC

I dropped MJ and three unschoolers at the train station bright and early this morning. There, they met up with two other unschoolers, to make a sixpack of very excited teenagers. They're headed down to Oregon to Not Back to School Camp, a camp for unschoolers that was founded by Grace Llewellyn. She's the author of "The Teenage Liberation Handbook: How to Quit School and Get a Real Life and Education." I highly recommend it, even to adults. It's all about grabbing the world by the tail.

Anyway, the kids are traveling down together by train and bus. They'll spend a week hanging out, attending each other's workshops, swimming in the pond, and being inspired by each other. There may not be much sleeping. Then they'll come back home to us, probably a bit worse for wear. :-)

A Midsummer Day's Fun

This past Saturday was another great day. We drove into Seattle to Seward Park and met up with a sailing/homeschooling family that Frank met online. They had their catamaran anchored in Lake Washington and dinghied to shore to pick us up when we arrived. We had some lunch aboard (Frank made Rosie's scrumptious crab mousse!) and the five girls (aged 5 to MJ's almost 14) swam and got acquainted. I jumped in the water, too, but levitated right back out again when I discovered the temperature.

After a pleasant couple of hours visiting, we ferried to shore and watched a Shakespeare-in-the-park presentation of A Midsummer Night's Dream. We all baked in the sun, but it was really fun anyway. The players were energetic and humorous, and all the kids had prepared by watching the movie version, so they were able to follow the action pretty well. The littlest girl, Aeron, decided Frank was her new best friend and spent much of the show on his lap. He said his legs went to sleep a couple of times, but I didn't hear him complaining. She's a sweetie!

After the play, it was back to the boat for more swimming and more food. We were all having such fun that we ended up spending nearly 9 hours together. Not your typical first meeting, eh?

A note about Puck: In this presentation, the mischievous one was played by a cute, spiky-haired female. She did a really great job and was obviously having a terrific time doing it. Chloe found her quite inspiring and came home to read the play herself. She has memorized Puck's epilogue ("If we shadows have offended...") and is answering mostly to "Puck" now. :-)

EndFest

Saturday the 12th, MJ and Chloe went to EndFest, a rock concert/festival put on by local radio station 107.7 The End. They saw a whole string of bands, including the Subways, Mars Volta, and the headliners, the Red Hot Chili Peppers. There was also a carnival midway and a whole bunch of sponsor booths with freebies to keep them entertained for 10 hours.

The concert was held way down at the White River Amphitheater (south and east of Seattle), so Frank and I decided to drop them off at the shuttle buses and then make a day of it instead of driving all the way home and back again. We spent a nice couple of hours at Kanaskat-Palmer State Park, on the Green River (yes, the one the killer was named for). We waded a bit, and walked a bit, but mostly we stretched out under a tree and went "Oooh, leaves." It was very peaceful and refreshing.

After the park, we had some food then went to Southcenter Mall. It's a completely integrated place and made us realize anew just how white-suburban Everett is. Anyway, we were wandering around, not finding much to interest us until we walked into Kennelly Keys. Frank picked up a guitar and started plucking, and I had an epiphany.

Let me tell you about Frank's guitar. It's an old friend, but as such, it's been through a lot. It once upon a time served as an emergency canoe paddle, and, more recently, it shared a household with a couple of toddlers. The body is scarred, one of the tuners is completely gone -- he's been using a pair of pliers to tune it -- and the neck is just a bit warped. As you can imagine, the sound is less than perfect. I knew this, or I thought I did. Then Frank picked up one of those shiny, beautiful new ones. It only took a single chord for the light to dawn over my oblivious little head. Oh, yeah, that's what a guitar sounds like. Even a relatively inexpensive guitar!

So Frank has a new friend. It's very pretty, and we talked the guy into a 20% discount because it has a tiny scratch on it. Plus, we managed to resist the $600 one with electric pickup.

The next stop on our EndFest odyssey then was a pleasant hour or so in the mall parking lot, with Frank playing songs while I read a new book. It was growing dark now -- only 3 or 4 hours to go!! -- so we headed back down to Auburn. Despite eating too much food earlier, we decided the perfect thing to do was popping into a Mexican restaurant for more food and strawberry margaritas. We sat in the bar and watched the end of the Seahawks preseason game (can't even remember who they played, but they lost regardless). Then we drove the two blocks back over to the shuttle stop, stretched out on cushions in the back of the van, and napped and chatted until the buses started rolling in.

Soon, the air was filled with revving engines and cries of "Woohooo! Chili Peppers rock!" Chloe and MJ appeared not long after, full of stories and smiles. While MJ has several under her belt (she became a music fanatic at age 8, I think), it was Chloe's first rock concert. Nothing like starting your 12yo off with a festival dedicated to alternative rock! I'm sure it was very educational.

And Mom and Dad had a good day, too.

Unschooling and chores

An unschooling friend pointed out that the following sentence in my previous post makes it seem like we require the kids to do regular chores: "She's discovered things she likes better at Summerhill -- no chores there...."

Well, this is biting off a big mouthful, presenting all this to a mostly non-unschooling audience, but I'll give it a go. Just bear in mind that the topic of chores is one that inspires hours of debate and discussion even among those of us committed to unschooling. I'm probably not going to convince you that this approach is right, but by the same token, you won't be able to convince me that it's not. With that understood, here we go.

To clarify, while chores do get done at our house (eventually), we no longer believe in assigning them to specific people. Frank and I chose this lifestyle -- having a house with a lawn, eating in, using stoneware and stainless instead of paper and plastic, etc. -- and we tend to set the standards for how that lifestyle should be maintained. We are, therefore, ultimately responsible for maintaining it. That's it, the bottom line.

As part of our family, the kids often voluntarily contribute to that maintenance, and when company is coming over, we all participate in the fire drill that makes the place guest-ready. Beyond that, the "chores" that the kids "must" do are things like occasionally hauling all their stuff to their own rooms, carrying dishes to the sink or dishwasher, and bringing me their dirty laundry.

Some unschoolers don't ask their kids to do even that much. Or if they ask, the kids are free to be too busy. It's all about respecting that the child's needs of the moment are as important as the parent's needs of the moment, and fostering an attitude of cooperation and joyful sharing of tasks. My schedule tends to be too tight to allow for that ideal flexibility. If now is the stolen moment when I have the time and willpower (an elusive combination) to start a load, now is the time the girls had better bring me their dirty clothes. However, they are free to choose to go without clean clothes for another week, and to accept the risk that one week might stretch into two.

I suppose I'd better talk about teaching responsibility, since that's what people always ask: How will your kids learn how to be responsible if they don't have any responsibilities? My answer is that OF COURSE my kids have responsibilities. Responsibility is unavoidable, and anyway, avoiding it is not something they have as a goal. Without external force being applied to them, my kids care, create, work, clean, correspond, keep schedules, remember details, pick up slack, invent, investigate, and help out. Making them do the dinner dishes once a day is not going to improve on that. Especially when they probably would have preferred cheese pizza on paper plates. :-)

Do Frank and I wish we had more help? Of course! What parent doesn't fantasize about having faeries that clean up all the messes overnight? Are we willing to assign, remind, harangue, harass, and punish in order to have that help? No way! Talk about time-consuming, nasty work! Ugh. Anyway, the peace of our family is not something to be sacrificed in the name of passing the white-glove test.

Even in our frantic moments, we try to help-because-we-love. And in our better moments, we are able to remember that everything we do, we do because we choose to. I don't clean the bathroom because I have to, I clean it because I like having it clean. Or because I like my kids to have a clean bathroom. Or because I don't want Frank to feel stuck with it. In my better moments, every chore I do is a gift to myself or someone else.

Filling in the blanks

Well, my blog posting has been somewhat sporadic recently, so I've got some blanks to fill in.

Marty
Marty moved to his new home at Heritage Manor on Monday. Here's Judy's report, sent Tuesday:

"We got dad moved in yesterday. Right now he's sharing a room but he's on the list for a private room as soon as one comes available. We got there just in time for lunch & he chowed down. He wanted to hang out in the hall with the rest of the gang afterwards until bingo. Gary & I went back this afternoon to do the paper work. It was worse than buying a house!

"He's using one of their wheelchairs but we're going to get him his own. I need to speak with one of the therapists to be sure I get all the right amenities... I hope to get his phone transferred this week. We still need to move his stuff over... We'll be getting a report from the therapists after they've had time to make an assessment...probably at the end of the week."

The foal
The foal's name is Hero. He's healthy and sassy and will no doubt feature prominently in an all-day fundraising event this coming Saturday. MJ is volunteering at their booth there. She's going to spend Friday night out at Hope for Horses so she can ride down to south Seattle with the owners.

Oh, there are a couple of photos of MJ, and even one of me, on the Hope for Horses Web site here: http://67.59.174.44/index.php?page=home She's right there on the home page, wearing the ballcap. Then click Our Volunteers to see the one of the two of us visiting with Faith's older baby and her corral-mate. It was taken at the volunteer appreciation BBQ 7/15.

Chloe's first week at home
Last Wednesday, Grandma hosted a welcome home party for Chloe out at the beach. It was a sunny day, although a bit cooler than the 90's we had been having. Still, all the kids got in the water. I stuck to wading, although Angelo (my mom's dog) and Bentley (the dog next door) did their best to share the water with me. I remember swimming in Puget Sound as a kid, but it's hard to imagine being willing to do so now. That water is COLD!

Chloe's friend-since-Kindergarten Gabrielle joined us for the party. It's been a while since we've seen her (at least 3 months!), so that was really nice. She's at North Middle School now, I'm sorry to say, but she seems to have adjusted well. And she's quite the soccer star, playing for a local league for soccer prodigies.

Other than partying, Chloe has been settling back into life in America. She's discovered things she likes better at Summerhill -- no chores there, and she says she is generally treated with more respect (we're working on that) -- but she's clearly happy to be with us again. We've been eating all that good food she requested, getting her caught up on the House episodes she missed, and just hanging out together.

Social weekend
Friday night, the girls and I attended a bridal shower for Tom's grandniece, Ryan. It was held up in Mt. Vernon in a lovely log building with adjacent Zen garden, and it was a nice gathering. Randi, our hostess, was amazingly calm. Must have been the Zen influence. :-) The wedding will take place in Grand Coulee in early September.

Saturday, Frank's cousin Mary and her fiancé Steve hosted their annual backyard BBQ. It was great to see so many Maiers in one place (even if it was only a small fraction of the clan). Sonya and Robert were there with new baby Anja and adorable 3yo Heide, so we got a nice infant-and-toddler fix. It kind of bummed me out to see the smart, talented, and very good looking teen generation of Maier males, though: My daughters don't get to marry one of them! (Hmm. I just checked the Revised Code of Washington and, legally speaking, second cousins can marry. I still think it would be too weird, though!)

The parade of pirates
Nearly a month ago, my brother asked me to explain about the parade we participate in on the 4th of July, and I don't seem to have done it. So, Nick, sorry for the delay, and here's your answer: Every year, one of my mom's neighbors organizes a kiddie parade down the road. Kids of all ages turn out for it, and the decorations and riding-mower-drawn floats have gotten steadily more elaborate. Three or four years back (hmm, after the 2000 elections maybe?), our crowd abandoned red-white-and-blue and began dressing up as pirates. Nowadays, a pirate-ship float and candy throwing have become part of the routine, and our supply of pirate clothing and accessories and weapons has grown to impressive proportions. I don't have a picture here at work, but I'll try to dig one out and post it later.

Snowball and the boys
Snowball is doing very well. She had to have her verrrrry long teeth trimmed, and she didn't care for the procedure one bit, but she's bright-eyed and eating well now. And the boys are settling in nicely. They aren't (much) afraid of our hands any more, and Snowball has taught them how to lick treats off of human fingers. They still get confused and nip now and then, but their teeth aren't lethal yet, fortunately.

They are still in separate-but-adjacent cages and will probably remain so. Snowball has *probably* reached menopause, but rats can produce as many as 20 babies in one litter, so we'd rather not take any chances. They socialize through the bars a bit, and they get daily supervised nonconjugal visitation.

Work
Frank's weird project continues. He regularly has days where they're paying him to be on call, with no work ever turning up. And he occasionally has days where he's working well into the night. Either way, it's money in the bank. (Kind of a bummer that it's all going to end up in Summerhill's bank, but Chloe is clearly having a unique and fulfilling experience, so we try not to think about it.)

My work is going well, too. After 2-1/2 years with this team, I definitely know more about the products than is good for me -- I am solely responsible for two huge projects that are due at essentially the same time!! -- but it's a good team to work for. My boss is a dream manager: a personable, creative, flexible realist. This Friday, we're moving to new offices. It's a classic Microsoft move: our new space is two hallways away, and we'll be even more crowded there. Too silly.

I hope you are all doing well. Drop us a line!