Friday fill-in

1. I'm looking forward to having Qacei stay with us next week.
2. I don't handle other people's anger very well.
3. Chocolate is something I could probably do eat every day.
4. Warmth and sunlight make everything better. Except in the southeast in August.
5. Jubilation, here I come!
6. I will probably end up with at least one tattoo.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Gold time, tomorrow my plans include getting my (exceedingly shaggy) hair cut and going to see Kimya Dawson, and Sunday, I want to get enough sunshine that I can pretend it's Spring!

Thursday 13

Thirteen Reasons I'm Tardy with my TT 1. I had to watch "The Return of the King" Wednesday night. 2. I made a trip to SeaTac International Airport today. At rush hour. 3. MJ is home! MJ is home! 4. The sun came out today. And the mountains, too. 5. I was having trouble thinking of a TT theme. 6. The Help topic for the new Password Policy dialog box wasn't coming up, for mysterious reasons. 7. I'm still recovering from NCN and San Diego. 8. I've been working 10-hour days. 9. I was researching the details of the Kimya Dawson concert this Saturday night. 10. I had to listen to the "Juno" soundtrack a million times so I'll know more lyrics. 11. I wanted to do some laundry and housework because... 12. Mary and Conor and Qacei are coming! 13. My (nonexistent) dog ate my (nonexistent) first draft. Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Unmodified

Arun has a lovely post about the problems with using behavior modification as a parenting technique. And then I found this by unschooling dad Rob Saxon on the Unschooling Basics list:

Children are more than their behavior. The behavior they display is done for a reason, an understandable one. Sometimes we must play detective to try to find it out, and sometimes we have to just trust that the reason is valid, even if we don't know what it is (and never will).

She's a dancer

"And at the end of it, because she was disturbing people and her homework was always late and so on, little kid of eight, in the end the doctor went and sat next to Gillian and said, 'Gillian, I’ve listened to all these things that your mother’s told me, I need to speak to her privately.' So he said, 'Wait here, we’ll be back, we won’t be very long,' and they went and left her. But as they went out of the room, he turned on the radio that was sitting on his desk. And when they got out of the room he said to her mother, 'Just stand and watch her.' And the minute they left the room, she said she was on her feet, moving to the music. They watched for a few minutes and he turned to her mother and he said, 'You know, Mrs. Lynn, Gillian isn’t sick, she’s a dancer. Take her to a dance school.'"

That's just one excerpt from a marvelous and entertaining video featuring Sir Ken Robinson. Linda provides more excerpts and a link to the video here:
http://fourlittlebirds.blogsome.com/2008/02/22/schools-and-creativity/

And for Reneé on a related topic:
The "Five Dangerous Things You Should Let Your Kids Do" video

Belated Valentine's Day meme

I have passed the point of *really* loving being home alone and am ready to have my husband and kids back, so it seems a good time to finally fill this in. I found it most recently on Sandra's blog.

1. What is his name? Frank
2. How long have you been together? As a couple, 22 years last January 29th. As friends, a year or two more than that.
3. How long did you date? 22 years and counting ('though there have been dry spells)
4. How old is he? 59
5. Who eats more? It varies from meal to meal. He definitely eats more gummi bears. :-)
6. Who said "I love you" first? He did, by about 10 seconds.
7. Who is taller? I am.
8. Who can sing better? He can, definitely, and he does some terrific singer impersonations.
9. Who is smarter? Frank retains information WAY better than I do and he tends to be more logical, although that's a closer call. He's definitely better at spatial stuff (see #12 below). I am probably smarter in social and emotional situations.
10. Who does the laundry? I do, and woe betide any who interfere. Except when the basement floods and the laundry pile gets soaked while I'm at work; then I'm thrilled to have assistance.
11. Who pays the bills? I do, being far too anal to tolerate his rounding the checkbook balance to the nearest five dollars.
12. Who sleeps on the right side? Facing the head or the foot of the bed? (This is why small children have trouble learning left and right!) Facing the foot, I sleep on the right.
13. Who mows the lawn? Frank does. Or I hire MJ or a neighbor kid.
14. Who cooks dinner? Frank does.
15. Who drives? Around town, I do mostly. On roadtrips, he does more of it.
16. Who is more stubborn? Ohhh, that's a toughie. We both have our moments and might tend to give opposite answers to this question. I'll go with "He is."
17. Who kissed who first? I think he made the move, but it was definitely mutual.
18. Who asked who out first? I had just broken up with my boyfriend and he offered to take me out to a sympathy lunch. (It was a date really.)
19. Who proposed? There was no proposal. We started talking about getting married about two weeks into our relationship, even though it took us more than four years after that to get to the altar.
20. Who has more friends? I do, but the numbers have evened out since LIFE is Good.
21. Who is more sensitive? To noise and emotional turmoil, I am. To stress and conflict, he is. Then again, stress and conflict wig me out pretty bad. Maybe it's a tie.
22. Who has more siblings? We both have three, but he should have four.
23. Who wears the pants? He would probably say I do, but if so, he wears the suspenders and the underwear. And he's the body that keeps it all together.

Friday fill-in

1. The adventure is the best thing about traveling.

2. I love a good cuddle with Frank when I'm cold.

3. I often use more words than are strictly necessary to clearly convey a particular point to the members of my mostly patient (but not universally so) listening or reading audience.

4. I'm reading romance novels in a silent house right now; I am reveling in every minute of it.

5. The punishment of children is something I dislike talking about. Or knowing about. Or hearing about. Or observing. Especially at Disneyland.

6. When I visited Disneyland, I most looked forward to seeing Kelli, Tim, Alec, Abbi, and Kyra. Hey, Kira! HI!)

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to reading a romance novel in a silent house and eating the delicious leftovers of the gourmet dinner I made purchased for myself, tomorrow my plans include seeing a happy end to the silence, and Sunday, I want to laze about (but I'll probably have to work)!

Disneyland follow-up

Craig left a hilarious comment on my TT, which I started to answer in comments but then just had to move onto the main page. Craig's commentary is blue, and my responses are purple (of course).

yeee-hah! boy you make a guy jealous!

2. tomorrowland LOUD?... didn't know there was any other land than Fantasyland.
Give it a couple more years. :-) We didn't ride anything in Fantasyland except Tim and the kids got on the teacups. There is hope for the future.

4. we were one of the last groups of people to ride the old Pirates. They should have left it as is... like the awesome Tiki room.
Did you know you were one of the last groups through? We went a couple of years ago, so I'll have to content myself with that.

5. Indiana Jones IS worth the lineup. That rolling ball gets me every time!
The best part of IJ for me - and I can't believe I forgot to include this in my 13 when I've been looking forward to it for days - was freaking Abbi out just after we went past the rats. She was sitting in front of me, so I reached up and tickled her head ever so gently. She squealed and batted at her head, and then whipped around to glare at me as I guffawed. Great fun - for me anyway! Other than that, all that jostling and jolting leaves me cold, and not even the awesome rolling ball can make up for it.

8. Big Thunder rocks!
Oh, yeah!

Although every time I ride it now, I think about the time when I almost lost Chloe on that ride. She was about 3. I had a girl on each side, and at one point I felt Chloe sort of sliding away from me, under the lap bar. Needless to say, I had an iron grip on her after that.

9. Chocolate covered frozen bananas? Is that some crazed American thing like that pink coconut covered ball of lard you tried to get me to eat?
LOL. I object to the description of my beloved Hostess Snowballs, but actually, no, not at all. The bananas could be considered a fruit course even - real fruit skewered, dipped in chocolate, and then frozen. They are delish.

Did you know they make Snowballs in different colors for different holidays? It's about time to get some green ones for St. Patrick's Day. Yummy.

13. I could spend two days in Main street USA alone.
Ditto.

And what's with Frank's anti-disneyland thing?
I must take the blame for at least some of this. He has a basic dislike of the commercialism, expense, noise, crowds, and dripping Disney-ism, and I think he holds a grudge for their ridiculous admission restrictions of the 60s. But he used to tolerate all that well enough to enjoy himself, with our fun trip there as a couple for my 30th birthday a case in point. (Yes, we left the kids with Grandma and went to Disneyland, cruel parents that we are.)

What really put the kabosh on the whole Disney experience for him was our family trip to DisneyWorld in December 1996. DW is a pretty overwhelming place, and I was overly eager to see and do it all, to the point of rushing him and our very small girls from place to place. Plus, we were both stressed and not sleeping well because the girls were fighting ear infections. It was Just Too Much. We pretty much hated each other's guts by the end of our week there, and got as close to divorce as we ever have.

So, since then, for both our sakes, when we do Disney, Frank has a lovely solo time, usually parked in the hotel room watching movies and eating junk food, and we're all friends at the end of it.

Awards and rewards

I've received a couple of blog honors in the last month that I've been too busy to "pick up." But they're picked now (see sidebar).

Thanks to Kelli for the Excellent Blog award, and thanks to Penelope Anne for adding me to the Magnificent Mamas blog roll.

It feels a little odd to receive recognition for something I do for myself. Blogging for me is pure indulgence, with a dash of therapy thrown in. But I'll take it! ;-)

And to think I once said on a survey that I couldn't see how blogging would add anything to my life. Ha!

P.S. With the Excellent award, I'm supposed to pass it on to the bloggers I read. I think all of them have already received this one, though. If you want to read some truly excellent blogs, check out the Unschooler Blogs in the list at right.

Ohmigosh

90 days until LIFE is Good! It's getting so close! But I can't wait!!!

And 333 days until Bush is outta there! I can't wait for that either!!!

Thursday 13

Thirteen Facts About Our Recent Visit to Disneyland (or Dizzyland, as Frank likes to call it) MJ and her camera card are still in California, so I'll have to add some photos to this later. For now, just the facts... 1. Our touring buddies, the Traaseths, are terrific people with a 'touring style' quite compatible with our own. 2. Tomorrowland is (still and always) very, very L O U D. 3. FastPasses are a great idea, but they tend to lead to lots of extra walking. I think we traveled between Tomorrowland and Frontierland about twelve thirteen times. 4. Pirates of the Caribbean has been updated to include Jack Sparrow, Davy Jones, and Captain Barbosa. This is mostly fine with me—it was fun spotting the changes—but my heart yearned for the way it was when I was a kid. Of course, with the older changes for political correctness, it hasn't been that way in many a moon. I also felt a pang for all the people who now won't be able to recognize what elements from the ride made it into the movies. For example, the dog-with-the-keys joke in the first movie just went flat. 5. Indiana Jones is still not worth standing in very long lines for. Yes, I'm expecting argument on that one. No, you won't convince me I'm wrong. And Abbi and Alec agreed with me, so there. 6. Space Mountain had to be shut down briefly—just as we were getting close to our turn—because a very tall man stood up as his spaceship was leaving port. He wouldn't fit under the restraint bar. The delay was a bother (MJ was waiting for us on Main Street with a headache), but it was fascinating to watch as they reset the ride. The coolest part was the way they added in ships to speed things up after the reset. They slid a section of track over and the new ship, on a replacement section of track, slotted right in. They were able to add four or five new ships in less than a minute. But why weren't those ships already in use, you might wonder. I wonder, too. Is a 40-minute wait part of the attraction? Is there some study somewhere that says people need long waits in order to appreciate their day at Disneyland? It's hard to imagine, but maybe so. 7. The fireworks show was the best I have ever seen. We weren't planning to watch it, figuring we'd get some good rides in while the crowd was occupied, but we couldn't tear ourselves away. The shaped bursts were amazing: smiley faces, hearts, stars, cubes, and planets with rings. They fired these cool rocket flares in succession—just like the corks popping in "Be Our Guest" in "Beauty and the Beast"—and Tinkerbell made a high-wire flight above the castle, while rocket flares went off all around her (him? she was pretty buff). Oh, and they made football-field-sized smoke rings that would get backlit by subsequent bursts. Cool and amazing stuff. (Sorry, Kyra.) 8. Thunder Mountain Railroad is still my favorite coaster there, especially our no-line, nighttime run through it. We also had a pretty good time on our second of three runs on the Matterhorn. It seemed faster than the others. Go figure. 9. Chocolate covered frozen bananas! (Need I say more?) 10. MJ and Chloe didn't buy anything except food. What's up with that? I guess they have reached their quota on Disney paraphernalia. 11. We were there for fifteen hours and went on approximately 15 rides. Factoring in the size of the President's Day crowd and our stops for food, rests, and bathroom breaks, it doesn't seem a bad average. But those planning trips should definitely not assume one day will be enough time to see everything. 12. I could barely move the next day and I still have sore muscles. I think climbing up to Tarzan's treehouse was a mistake. :-) 13. My five favorite moments of the day: * Walking onto Main Street when we arrived, full of anticipation and so happy to be in the Happiest Place on Earth. * The four girls walking abreast in lockstep, arms linked, with Alec walking in sync beside them but just a bit too independent to link up. * Talking about femininity with Kelli while in line to face her demons on the Matterhorn. * Our group hug in Adventureland. * Driving Alec and Abbi back to their hotel, having almost made it to the midnight closing time, with all the kids laughing and talking in the back seats, and with Frank happy to play chauffer and hear our stories after his blissful, Disney-free day alone. Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

That sucking sound you heard...

...was Ronnie getting pulled back into the quicksand that is judgmental parenting.

My niece: "Me and Sam went—"
Ronnie: "Who went?"
My niece: "Me and Sam."
Ronnie: "Sam and I?"

I even heard myself saying something about how I "had to" correct her on that one.

Oy vey.

And to complete the horror, I have no recollection of how she eventually finished the sentence. So, on top of being just plain rude, I obviously wasn't listening very well.

It's really easy to slide into this crap. It's much harder to make up for it when you come to your senses.

But I'm going to try. Here's a start: I'm sorry, Chelsea.

Thursday 13

Thirteen Reasons San Diego Is Better than Seattle in February 1. Sunshine 2. Disneyland is nearby - and there will be unschoolers there! 3. A big ol' family wedding 4. Beaches 5. Chloe's tree in my dad's sunny front yard 6. High temps in the 70s (that's the 20s for those of you on the metric system) 7. Carne asada burritos 8. Outdoor shopping in the sunshine 9. Relatives I haven't seen since last year 10. Relatives I haven't seen since last weekend 11. Sunny canyons outside the back door 12. Surfers, dude 13. And did I mention sunshine?

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

My NCN writeup

Yes, it's done. It's long. There are many parts. There are many photos. Here's the Table of Contents.

PARTY! - belated Thursday 13
NCN Thursday
NCN Friday
NCN Saturday
NCN at the Party Palace
NCN trip to the piercing parlor
NCN Sunday
NCN Monday
Kaizen

I want to thank everybody for coming, for your amazing presence, for your most delicious culinary contributions, for helping with cleanup, and for financial assistance via the raffle. You All Rock.

Friday fill-in

I am WAY late, but I'm doing it anyway.

1. I'm looking forward to many, many things.
2. Ireland is a place I always wanted to visit and haven't made it there yet.
3. I've fallen in love with California rolls with wasabi.
4. Six of one, that's no fun. One of six, that's the fix.
5. Addiction did a lot of damage to my childhood.
6. The photos from Non-Con North crack me up!
7. And as for the weekend, Friday I was looking forward to Psych and a quiet night (got it), Saturday my plans included lots of blogging (did it), and Sunday, I want to be still like a vegetable!

If I were...

...an ice cream flavor, I'd be Love Potion #31. Rich and delicious but only available at certain times of the year.
...a fried food, I'd be a churro. Just 'cause I like 'em.
...an extreme sport, I'd be white water rafting. Sometimes thrilling, sometimes just drifting along, and you never know what's around the next bend.
...a retail store, I'd be Daiso. Overcrowded with interesting things, all for a bargain price.
...a vegetable, I'd be snap peas. Crisp and refreshing.
...a fruit, I'd be a pomegranate. Kind of hard to figure out, but worth the effort.
...a building, I'd be the Seattle Public Library. Interesting architecture, eclectic contents, surprisingly red, and lots of spaces to explore.
...a car, I'd be a concept car that will probably never hit the market.

Tagged by Mary.
Tagging Laura, Gillian, Frank, and MJ. Check out Mary's blog for more ideas!

PARTY!

At long last, with my work obligations met for the week, I am free to report on our rambunctious and delicious Non-Con North festivities. Do you think I can do this in a single post? No Way! But let's get started.

Here, because I missed my Thursday 13, I'll share...

13 Fascinating Things about Non-Con North

1. Our house was packed with people from Thursday night until Monday at about 3 in the afternoon. Some moments were more crowded than others (we could barely move during the Super Bowl), but our place was definitely Party Central. Those shopping and sightseeing trips I thought would happen? No. We all wanted to be together every minute.

2. We had people here from Oregon, California, British Columbia, Costa Rica (by way of Seee-dro Wooley), Snohomish, Marysville, Mt. Vernon, Oak Harbor, and probably another local city or two that I'm forgetting. I think the people from out-of-state (country) outnumbered the locals, though. Thanks for doing all that driving, guys!

3. The kids had FUN. They laughed (and laughed and laughed); they played; they romped; they laughed; they talked, built, cooperated, shared, sympathized, negotiated, chipped in, helped out, and danced. And did I mention that they laughed?

4. Unschoolers don't eat very much. Or Frank cooks enough for a full-blown conference. One of the two. Either way, we had enough food for the weekend for everybody except the vegetarians. (Sorry, Qacei!)

5. The water in Cajun boiled shrimp does not have tomatoes in it. It's red from the cayenne. This became more apparent when we all started coughing from the fumes and had to open windows and doors. But it was worth it!

6. Kapla blocks are the greatest. Gillian and Craig are the greatest for having them shipped to my house in time for the party (even if they were so cruel as to take them away when they left). And Harper gets the NCN Kapla Greatness Award for his amazing creations and for being tall enough to reach the ceiling.

7. We played Football Cliché Bingo.

At first I was worried it was a mistake, because we all quit talking so we could listen to the announcers. But that didn't last long. And the moments when one of the camera shots or beer ads came up (things that appeared on every card), the room erupted with excitement. "Cheerleaders!"

8. What does an unschooling mom do when she has 30 people coming over for a Super Bowl party? She drops everything and takes her kid to get a new hole in her head. I might have been just a wee bit less than gracious about it, but I did it. And so did she.

9. We forgot Matteo.

In the mad rush to transfer the party Saturday night, we all grabbed our own kids and left the house. We got to the Party Palace and I noticed he was missing. "Hayden, where's Matteo?" "Oh, I think he stayed home." gasp choke "Do you mean at MY house?!" I called home, and sure enough, Matteo answered. Fortunately, he's 12 and not 2, and fortunately, we were only ten minutes away. And running back to get him gave me a chance to grab the less vital things we had forgotten.

10. The Found Items Raffle was really, really cool. People supplied—and won—a ton of cool stuff.

11. Viola and Ali don't wear thongs. But having them tossed into their laps still distracted them from their disappointment when they didn't win the ponies. And Mary and Diana found it pretty hilarious, too.

12. It wasn't a perfect non-con, because the Traaseths weren't there. We really missed you guys!

13. Doing the Time Warp was probably my favorite moment. Of course it was fun to do the dance (badly in my case), but the coolest part was looking out at all of MY people smiling at us from the audience. Of course, what else could they do but smile?

NCN Thursday

After taking a look around at everything I had left to do, I called Mary. "Where are you?" I chirped cheerfully, prepared to be unperturbed if the answer was "20 minutes away." Nope, they were still in Corvallis (just getting up, as I found out later). Relief and disappointment. But mostly relief. And when they arrived some hours later, we were mostly ready.

Gillian and Craig arrived that day, too. We pulled up out front at the same time they did after one last run to medicate my mom's dog. I was so excited to see them, I burbled all my greetings with the window still rolled up, so the first words they actually heard me say seemed to be an accusation: "You're early!"

But no, the party was in full swing by then. I don't actually have photo proof of that, but this one from Friday will give you the idea.


Through the horseshoe from the left: Shonna, Randi, Diana, Gillian, Mary, Madelyn, Ducky, Frank, Sharon (mostly hidden), Dick, Logan, Jon, Craig

G&C unpacked their boxes, and then we all spent the evening chatting and building with Kaplas. This evening is well photo-documented here.


We wound down at about 2 a.m., and then Frank and I ran the kids back out to the beach for their last night of dogsitting.

NCN Friday

The Friday morning fire drill (drop off dead TV, talk to kids, get doughnuts for kids, pick up kids, pick up Megan, no never mind Megan is covered, harangue kids into cleaning the evidence of Angelo's bath out of Grandma's tub) gave way to a day of grocery shopping, cooking, and finally some more partying. And Kapla time. And singing. And "How many teenagers can we fit on Ronnie and Frank's bed?"


From left: Logan, Maya with Qacei behind, Chloe, MJ, Harper, Conor, Matteo


Effie and Viola visit the teens from time to time, with mixed results.


Gemma and Michelle give an impromptu recital, with iPod accompaniment.


Gioia builds


Viola builds, Gillian and Craig bond, Mary grins

NCN Saturday

Randi takes a turn
(with Siobhan in the foreground)


Then gets some help
(Niall and Behan on left, Matteo helping, Siobhan and Hayden watching, Chloe doing her own thing)


Peek-a-boo?
Randi, Matteo, Logan, with Scotty and Hayden in the background


Ronnie came through with a few toys for Siobhan and Mairen
"The flash hurts my eyes!"


Siobhan loves Fritos.

NCN at the Party Palace

Let's get it started in here


Pimp Daddy and the Daiquiri King (also known as "my savior")


New red boots won in the raffle


And Cleopatra (otherwise known as Robin) won a cashmere robe!


Candy canes for Mardi Gras!


An earnest discussion. Or maybe MJ's music was too loud.
Mary 2, Michelle, Jordan (whose fabulous spats didn't make it into any of the photos), Dick, and Sharon


The kids had a great time with Frank's samurai helmet. This is Niall.


And this is Erich.


One of our most surreal moments: the teenagers and Diana headed for the men's room.


Michelle is blue. I missed getting a photo when she was still wearing her pink hair.


"Let me outta this crazy place!"
Fergus


Our tamest group photo

NCN trip to the piercing parlor

Sunday before the big game, we headed over to Painless Steel to get some piercings. Unfortunately, only MJ had her ID with her, so everybody else...


just watched


while Harper (instead of Daddy!) held her hand.


She made faces


but she didn't make a sound, not even when she did this


while I got flustered and Harper got just a little green.


And then it was done.


"That wasn't too bad," said Frankie Fingers, the piercing artist. "It would have been worse if you'd been drinking last night." Indeed.

NCN Sunday

"Let's go!"


Gamers


Fergus and one of his weekend heroes, Ducky
with Hayden, Michelle, and Effie


Football Cliché Bingo


Oh, yeah, and football. How about that fourth quarter, huh?


Dallas and Effie, cracking each other up


Wise women
Madelyn, Gillian, Diana

NCN Monday

A subdued breakfast at IHOP.
(Yes, this is our version of subdued.)


And just like that, they were gone.

A Friday message to NCN'ers

We were supposed to see it beforehand, of course, but it's still beautiful.

Also check out her amazing and delicious TT!

http://sayitagainsammie.blogspot.com/

Kaizen

"Kaizen" is Japanese for continuous improvement. It's a workplace term typically.

But there's a lot of Kaizen in the unschooling community. We see it in action with our kids, who are always reaching up and out, and we see it in action with unschooling parents, who are always striving to improve their parenting and their connections to their kids.

Kaizen moments abounded at Non-Con North, but my favorite was the Sunday night group-chat in our livingroom. Our "panel" was made up of five parents and three teens, with some younger kids playing within earshot nearby. The teens were consulted as the experts they are, and a wealth of ideas was shared by all.

This is one of the reasons we love getting together with unschoolers SO MUCH. The joy of talking things over with people who understand our parenting goals is immeasurable.

Yes, We Can

I have so much to say about Non-Con North, it'll probably take me days to finish writing my post. In the meantime, here's this:

Friday fill-in

1. Once I was not much of a joiner, and then I went to LIFE is Good.

2. Popsicles and staying home from work are the only good things about being sick.

3. Today at work I was mysteriously absent.

4. What's all that happy unschooler noise all about? Non-Con North, of course!

5. If I make a mistake I feel like crap for an excessively long time.

6. When I woke up this morning, I thought — simultaneously — "Oh, I can't wait for everyone to get here" and "Ohmigosh, I hope nobody arrives before five."

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to spending a second evening laughing and talking myself hoarse with some of the best people in the world, tomorrow my plans include a fabulous Mardi Gras celebration at the Party Palace, and Sunday, I want to hang with my peeps!