Unmodified

Arun has a lovely post about the problems with using behavior modification as a parenting technique. And then I found this by unschooling dad Rob Saxon on the Unschooling Basics list:

Children are more than their behavior. The behavior they display is done for a reason, an understandable one. Sometimes we must play detective to try to find it out, and sometimes we have to just trust that the reason is valid, even if we don't know what it is (and never will).