The Doings Report

We're finishing up our quiet, empty-nest week. We barely did anything, a true vacation. It's been lovely.

Thursday evening, I helped out at a special event at Belle Provence, a lovely Mill Creek gift store run by some friends. I enjoy these occasional forays into retail, but boy, did I have sore feet by the end of it. Gotta get some dressy flats!

Friday night, Frank and I went out for dinner together at Romio's. I do like going there, it's such a neighborhood joint despite being part of a chain. I've run into my doctor there previously, and Friday we saw a couple of teachers from Whittier Elementary, the girls' old stomping grounds. And Costa, the manager, greets us as if we're regulars. Plus, the food is yummy. I had GASP pizza (garlic, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, and pesto), and Frank had chicken fettucini.

Frank has a cold, so I went down and sold our Seahawks tickets. What a good decision! Terrible, terrible game. Frank and I are watching from the comfort of our livingroom and have some cash to show for it. I feel sort of bad for the dad and lad who bought our tickets, though.

The girls finished up their week on the South Carolina beach yesterday and are now back in Gainesville, Georgia. They have been having a really, really good time.

We do our reverse-airport-run tomorrow. We'll drop off the Zen car at the hotel where the Golds are spending Monday night, visit with them for a while, pick up MJ and Chloe, and pick up the Mayers. I'm looking forward to it!

A vote for families

We received our ballots today for the general election on November 3, so this seems like a good time to share with my Washington readers my intention to vote to approve Referendum 71 and my deep hope that you will, too. This referendum will continue the domestic partnership law previously approved by our state legislature. It provides equal protection to all families so partners and their children can be covered by the health insurance policy of the head of household, so family members can visit each other in the hospital, so partners can take family leave to care for their sick partners or children, and so loving parents can adopt children in need.

In the case of my dear cousins Randi and Kauleen, it will enable Kauleen to adopt her own son!

Let me repeat that: If this is returned into law, Kauleen can adopt her own son. I must say, I find it outrageous that anyone could have a problem with that.

Please, join me in removing this obstacle to the health and security of our friends, neighbors, and family members.

Why Vote to Approve R-71

Friday fill-in

1. So, Frank, are we going out to dinner tonight or what?

2. A new adventure is what's up ahead.

3. I love to do too many things to list them all here.

4. I suppose Glenn Beck is a human... of some sort.

5. I walk a happy path.

6. Joy is the true elixir of life! Drink up!

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a date with Frank and then some time with Shawn and Gus, tomorrow my plans include doing as little as possible, and Sunday, I want to help the Seahaws beat the Cardinals—oh crud, I used the wrong color for this FF—and prep the house for the Monday return of girls and Mayers!

Complaint-free Friday

This is an interesting idea.

From the Kindness Center:
Today is "Complaint Free Friday." To participate you will need a piece of paper, a pen and self-awareness. If you catch yourself complaining or speaking unkind words (about yourself, others, or the world), please write down three things you are grateful for. This simple technique is a powerful way to generate positive energy and an attitude of gratitude.

Just wait a few more days

5 Reasons to Avoid Induction of Labor

This is silly too

I'm a labeler

Way down in the sidebar is a section called "Labels" which I have just updated to better reflect the labels I have used on my blog posts over the years. Labels also appear at the bottom of most of my blog posts (for example, the blognews label at the bottom of this post). Click a label to see a collection of related writings.

A note to any current or former indexers reading this: Feel free to let me know if you find a post that is missing a likely label. Thanks!

Doing it Mongolian style

Click here for a lovely, funny, enlightening article about a Canadian woman's breastfeeding journey in Mongolia.

Wordless Wednesday

You better think

Excerpts from Does the Vaccine Matter?, an excellent exploration of the efficacy of our current pandemic preparations, from the new issue of The Atlantic:

"When Lisa Jackson, a physician and senior investigator with the Group Health Research Center, in Seattle, began wondering aloud to colleagues if maybe something was amiss with the estimate of 50 percent mortality reduction for people who get flu vaccine, the [opposition] she got sounded more like doctrine than science... [In] 2004, Jackson and three colleagues set out to determine whether the mortality difference between the vaccinated and the unvaccinated might be caused by a phenomenon known as the 'healthy user effect.' ... Jackson’s findings showed that outside of flu season, the baseline risk of death among people who did not get vaccinated was approximately 60 percent higher than among those who did, lending support to the hypothesis that on average, healthy people chose to get the vaccine, while the 'frail elderly' didn’t or couldn’t. In fact, the healthy-user effect explained the entire benefit that other researchers were attributing to flu vaccine, suggesting that the vaccine itself might not reduce mortality at all."

---

"The history of flu vaccination suggests other reasons to doubt claims that it dramatically reduces mortality. In 2004, for example, vaccine production fell behind, causing a 40 percent drop in immunization rates. Yet mortality did not rise. In addition, vaccine 'mismatches' occurred in 1968 and 1997: in both years, the vaccine that had been produced in the summer protected against one set of viruses, but come winter, a different set was circulating. In effect, nobody was vaccinated. Yet death rates from all causes, including flu and the various illnesses it can exacerbate, did not budge."

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"Unfortunately, the very people who most need protection from the flu also have immune systems that are least likely to respond to vaccine. Studies show that young, healthy people mount a glorious immune response to seasonal flu vaccine, and their response reduces their chances of getting the flu and may lessen the severity of symptoms if they do get it. But they aren’t the people who die from seasonal flu. By contrast, the elderly, particularly those over age 70, don’t have a good immune response to vaccine—and they’re the ones who account for most flu deaths."

---

"This is the curious state of debate about the government’s two main weapons [flu vaccines and anti-viral drugs] in the fight against pandemic flu. At first, government officials declare that both vaccines and drugs are effective. When faced with contrary evidence, the adherents acknowledge that the science is not as crisp as they might wish. Then, in response to calls for placebo-controlled trials, which would provide clear results one way or the other, the proponents say such studies would deprive patients of vaccines and drugs that have already been deemed effective."

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"In the U.S., by contrast, our reliance on vaccination may have the opposite effect: breeding feelings of invulnerability, and leading some people to ignore simple measures like better-than-normal hygiene, staying away from those who are sick, and staying home when they feel ill. Likewise, our encouragement of early treatment with antiviral drugs will likely lead many people to show up at the hospital at first sniffle. 'There’s no worse place to go than the hospital during flu season,' says [flu researcher Sumit] Majumdar. Those who don’t have the flu are more likely to catch it there, and those who do will spread it around, he says."

Go ahead

I discovered a new Web site from the people who brought you LOL Cats and the Fail Blog. It's called It Made My Day (IMMD).

Two fun samples:

Me and my 9 year old cousin were watching old footage of John and Yoko performing today. During Yoko’s singing she turned to me and asked ‘What’s wrong with that guy?’ IMMD.

I was eating a donut with a friend’s 15 month old daughter. She asked what the hole was for and I asked “What do you think?” she said ” That’s where you put the bacon”. IMMD

Hard to argue with that

The Doings Report

We spent much of last week playing with friends and doing airport runs. It was really fun! But we've decided three trips to the airport in two days is our max.

Wednesday evening, Mary, Jon, and Qacei Gold arrived and the fun commenced. Thursday morning, Randi and baby Rudy came over for breakfast. Thursday afternoon, Frank drove Mary and Jon to the airport for their much envied flight to Paris. Thursday evening, Craig, Gillian, Effie, and Fergus arrived for some wrasslin, slidin, and heart-shaped birthday cake eatin.

Friday morning, Frank and I drove MJ, Chloe, and Qacei to the airport for their flight to the South (to see friends in Atlanta and then caravan to Isle of Palms, South Carolina, for an unschooler gathering). All three of them got hassled going through security, I guess 'cause teenaged girls are so terribly scary.

Friday afternoon, Frank and I drove the Mayers to the airport for their flight to Chicago to visit Max and Otto. And Rachel and Martin, of course.

Friday night, because I hadn't had enough fun (or driving) yet, I went up to Bellingham to hang out with friends and hear Alfie Kohn speak. Alfie's talk was interesting and entertaining but also kind of a bummer because he still believes schools can be fixed. They would certainly be better if Alfie's ideas were implemented, but I wish he could make that last leap and question whether the institutions are really necessary for the type of learning he is promoting.

Anyway, I got to see a nice crowd of unschoolers I know there, and then a bunch of us went to Casa Que Pasa for tacos and drinks. After, Shonna and Jacinta and I shared a hotel room and talked into the wee hours. It was good.

Since then, Frank and I have been enjoying our temporarily empty nest. The Seahawks kicked all Jaguar buttocks. I've been reading a lot and mostly ignoring the Internet til now. The house is clean and staying that way. But it sure is quiet around here.

In review

Do you ever read your own blog? Every now and then, I read mine. Sometimes I find things I barely remember writing but like pretty well. Here are a few from today's cruise through the archives:

Colorful metaphors - July 2008 - about our feelings about profanity, with some great and entertaining comments.

Hidden rules - December 2008 - about the dangers of expectations even in a rule-free home.

Unschooling and allowance and math - September 2006 - about unschooling and allowance and math. ;-)

Accepted - February 2007 - a review of the movie of the same name, plus a discussion of some of our core beliefs.

Strewing - September 2007 - about the unschooling practice of regularly providing our kids with fresh ideas and resources.

Are your kids prepared?

More

Wordless Wednesday

MHROTD

Happy Birthday, Stephanie!

Diving In

I guess I'm part of the In Crowd. Who knew?

I could go on in some detail about how this has never been true for me before, how I've spent my whole life feeling like an outsider, and so on. But I think it's more useful to talk about how I came to be part of a group so cool and so much fun that people think we MUST be the In Crowd.

The simple explanation is one that should be familiar to unschoolers: connections. Unschoolers often speak about the organic nature of learning, and how each person's web of knowledge is made by making connections between separately attained bits of information. Well, our web of friendships has been made the exact same way: one friendship at a time.

And there's a big difference from the In Crowd you knew in high school: this In Crowd gets bigger every year. It is always open to new members, and all you need to do to belong is get started being a friend. Make a beginning.

I've written up a few examples to show how it has worked for us.

Dana Ellis. I met Dana in 2006 when a group of unschooling moms and kids (most of whom had never met before) got together at the Burlington Mall just to chat. I don't think I saw Dana again for three years. Then at LIFE is Good 2009, I played peek-a-boo with her baby and she helped me learn how to hoola hoop. Now we get together with some regularity, and she's a fun, crazy, sexy addition to my list of friends.

The moral: You just never know when the seeds of a friendship will take root.

Mary Gold. I knew Mary online, although I can't swear she knew me. She was one of the moms whose voices had convinced me to try unschooling and supported me through my deschooling. But we had never met in person until LIFE is Good 2007, our first unschooling conference. Even there, since she was very busy in her Conference Diva role, and since I felt pretty shy about meeting one of my mentors, we spent about five minutes together, total. By LIFE is Good 2008, Mary had become (and remains) one of my best friends.

The moral: There is no such thing as celebrity in the unschooling community.

Michelle Boswell and Robin Bentley. Michelle was one of the other moms at that first meeting with Dana. Robin was at LIFE is Good 2007, but we met only in passing. Later in 2007, I started STUN, our little teen group, and Michelle and her three kids and Robin and her daughter became core members. My friendship with these STUNing moms was nurtured in weekly group meetings and expanded via e-mail, individual get-togethers, and shared conference experiences. (And Robin is one hell of a backup chick!)

The moral: Sometimes you have to get things started.

Kelli Traaseth. I met Kelli in November 2007 at Mary Gold's non-con. We talked some, and our kids hit it off, so when we had a chance to get together with the Traaseths in Disneyland in 2008, we jumped on it. It was there that I discovered Kelli and I are twins separated at birth. Well, we're still separated, since she lives way over on the other side of the country, but we maintain our friendship online, and she scores big points by her willingness to host my kids whenever they get the urge to fly east. (I keep offering to return the favor, but so far, her kids haven't taken me up on it.)

The moral: Distance doesn't have to be a factor.

And here's where it gets interesting

At LIFE is Good one year, I made friends with Ginger Sabo. Ginger encouraged Beth Joling, a high-school buddy of hers, to come to LIFE is Good 2009. I met Beth there, and Beth also met Dana. Beth and Dana live in the same town north of here, so when I go up there, I usually get to see them both. Robin Bentley and Michelle Boswell sometimes go up with me, and some other friends, Shonna Morgan (another fabulous backup chick!) and Jacinta Galway, sometimes come down to join us.

Jacinta's husband, Russ Anguish, is one of the Greybeards, so he came down to San Diego last month for the show at Good Vibrations, the conference that Ginger helped to organize. Ginger's husband, Jeff, is our bass player. Jeff is good friends (some might even call them father and daughter ;->) with Kelly Lovejoy, the once-and-future diva of the Live and Learn Conferences. It was Kelly who invited me to speak at L&L 2008, where I got a chance to see the Traaseths again and where I met Ren Allen in person finally. Ren is another of my mentors, and it was she who found herself hosting a little party at LIFE is Good 2009 where I had time to speak to my new acquaintance, Russ Anguish. At that party, I also got the chance to visit with Mercedes Fulwiler, who was one of those moms who got together at the Burlington Mall all those years ago, and I got to see Diana Jenner, who is the one who first introduced me to Gillian and Craig Mayer back in 2007.

I got better acquainted with Gillian and Craig at the non-con hosted by Mary Gold in fall of 2007, and then they held a little gathering in summer of 2008 where I met the Stonebrakers, whom I got to see again at L&L 2008. The Stonebrakers are hosting MJ & Chloe next week when they all travel together to a little South Carolina gathering organized by Ben and Kelly Lovejoy. There, the girls will get to meet Faith Taintor and Elissa Cleaveland, two unschooling moms who are my friends on Facebook but whom I don't think I've met in person.

And speaking of Facebook...

Never mind. Don't get me started on that. :-)

I hope I'm making my point here. You can look at us now, happily surrounded by friends, ridiculously overbooked socially, and make assumptions about how we got here and what we feel about the people we don't know yet. But your assumptions would be wrong. When we arrived, friendless, in the unschooling community, all it took to join the In Crowd was recognizing one thing:

Everybody is welcome in the In Crowd.

Good stuff on vaccine safety

From James Moore, columnist on The Huffington Post

"The failure of health institutions in the government to conduct these studies will eventually do great harm to the uptake of vaccines and will likely jeopardize critical herd immunity.

"Private research, in collaboration with universities, is endeavoring to fill this gap and is turning up disturbing results."

Full article