Mrs. G has a typically entertaining blog post up about the lies she has told her children. Now, I love Mrs. G, don't get me wrong, and I enjoyed the post in (I think) the spirit that she intended it. But I am finding the 90-some comments pretty distressing. Some of them are just compliments to Mrs. G, but dozens are from moms confessing (often gleefully) to their own lies.
Only one person has responded the way I wanted to respond (but didn't feel clever enough to do without offending Mrs. G or her readers). Since this is my blog, I can offend anybody I want.
Why don't these people see the harm they are doing? They are not only not accepting their children as they are, but they are using lies that will eventually be uncovered to disguise their lack of acceptance!
The lies that made me saddest were the ones that were used to steal from a child something that gave him or her comfort. Terrible.
Here's the comment I liked:
I remember feeding my kids some stories so that my own life would be a little more convenient.
Kinda wish I could go back and undo that kind of stuff now.
Trust is precious. My 14yo won't eat with a particular type of fork from the silverware drawer, because he saw me use it to scrape cat food into the cat's dish. He does not believe me when I tell him it's been washed, sterilized, disinfected.
He doesn't believe me about a lot of little things like that, even when they are true.
Really, I'd rather have the trust than the convenience. Too late.
(emphasis mine)
Brava, Laura. Thanks for putting it into words.
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8 months ago
9 comments:
That is exactly what I was thinking when I read the comments. I just felt plain bad for the kids. Especially when some were posting comments like "Oh, I never thought of that. Maybe I'll start!" and being happy about it.
Thanks for posting.
Yeah I decided not to comment on that one for just the reasons you said. I know there were things I fibbed for convenience or coersion, but I'm not proud of it and wish I had been more creative at the time.
I love Mrs. G, too, and her post was funny. As Qacei said, reading the comments -- especially the ones from the young mothers happily planning to lie some more -- made me uncomfortable.
Thanks for understanding what I meant so well -- once you've been caught telling one of those "little fibs", your kids will look at you differently. So choose wisely.
Ditto, I decided not to comment. Made me sad reading the comments and very sad when someone was going to try it out. I know I take things too literal sometimes but it still hurts my heart for the effects on those relationships.
I had the same reaction as you and your commenters. I didn't even read the comments on Mrs. G's post because I know there are parents who revel in their ability to deceive and manipulate their children.
Trust is a precious thing!
This is an incredible post with the most perfect timing. I had just read Mrs. G's post, and at first, I too thought it was written just for the humor of it. Then when I read the comments, I was shocked by how so many people took it a different way; they found that Mrs. G was perhaps encouraging them to also lie - and for those that already did, to lie more. One person said they were glad for the material that Mrs. G offered, and they would try out the lies tonight - they'll "keep her posted!"
I hate to criticize how other people run their lives, and I admit I've had my share of little white lies (not to any of my children, obviously, mainly just glossing the details on something so someone's feelings aren't hurt) but that definitely doesn't mean I'm proud of 'em and I know I do not want others doing the same. I know that most of the comments on her blog were just jokes, but it still pushes my button to see it. Kids deserve more than that.
Anyway, thanks for the post, I'm glad that you took it upon yourself to write it (and give the rest of us the chance to flock together and agree! ;) )
Disclaimer: I hope I haven't hurt anyone's feelings if they read this, and least of all Mrs. G! These are personal opinions being commented on a blog post that related to how I feel.
I didn't comment either. I love Mrs. G's blog and I'm as diplomatic as they come. But I couldn't quite see my way through this one, so I just kept my mouth shut. :)
I commented. I left a comment about actually running out of diapers, not pretend running out of diapers. David cleared out all the large diapers available in the area that he knew around our place in Kyoto. Simon did fine.
I did find it distressing to read all the comments. It hurts breathing in when you are reading about how good it is to pull the wool over someone else's eyes. Someone who you love so...
I loved Laura's comment. Absolutely loved Laura's comment.
I totally agree...I have always thought it is better to weather the tantrum at the time than pay the piper later. Laura put it so perfectly...I am grateful that she shared so candidly. Parenting is so hard (which is why none of us want to offend Mrs. G's delightful community of readers) and having someone share a misstep is always a breath of fresh air in a world of self-promoters bragging about their gifted and talented honor students (somebody stop me before i sub reference mrs g yet again, with all due respect to dennis miller).
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