I've got something to say. I hesitated over saying it here, because I'm worried the wrong people are going to think it's aimed at them. So, if you read this and feel hurt, assume it wasn't aimed at you. :-)
And if you read this and wonder if it's aimed at you, maybe it was, because I don't know anybody who's perfect (especially not me).
A recurring theme over the holidays is the stress people experience at gatherings of extended family. If you don't know what I'm talking about, rent "Home for the Holidays," a gem of a movie about how family can both anchor us and, special-occasionally, drag us down.
But I'm sure we've all experienced it for ourselves. Uncle Albert thinks your politics are loony. Cousin Joanie criticizes your lifestyle. Grandma expects you to do everything. Your brother-in-law bosses your kids around. For unschoolers, this, er, natural phenomenon is compounded by the fact that most people in the world just don't get us. I could share dozens of stories about the rude-to-horrid treatment unschoolers (not us!) have received at the hands of their relatives. But it's more universal than that.
Have you seen the commercial where the young man struggles to find a gift for his mother and ultimately settles on buying a suit for himself, because he knows that will please her most? It's a charming story and has as its punchline Mom ripping off the tags he forgot to remove. Sweet, right?
Wrong. I hate that commercial. The thing that pleases his mother most is to have her son change. To please her, he has to put on a costume and pretend to be somebody else. It's very sad. But this is what we do to each other whenever we focus on appearance, manners, conformance, and expectations instead of interests, humor, fun, enjoyment, and dreams.
Here's what I wish for you and yours this holiday season: acceptance. Love and enjoy each other for the people you really are rather than the people you "should" be. Laugh. Play. Converse. Be.
And have truly happy holidays.
Mojo Brew bio
8 months ago
3 comments:
I second that wish!
I feel the same way about the hooked on phonics commercial. Everyone in the waiting room is so impressed at the 4 y/o being able to read and mom is so proud. Makes my skin crawl.
Kelly
With a few changes:
To please her, he puts on a costume and pretends to be the son she tried to create. And because she focuses on appearance, manners, conformance, and expectations, that is all she will ever have of him. She will never get to share his interests, humor, fun, enjoyment, and dreams. It's so sad.
And under her own layers of expectation, conformance, manners, and appearance is the real person his mother is. He will never see her. It's so sad.
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