Thursday 13

Thirteen Cool People Who Will Be At My House Today

(not including my three favorite people)

(in no particular order)

(okay, there's a pattern of sorts, but no preference order)

1. Effie
2. Fergus
3. Qacei
4. Conor
5. Logan
6. Hunter
7. Kyla
8. Gillian
9. Craig
10. Mary
11. Jon
12. Michelle
13. Jordan (maybe) or Randi (maybe)

and a bonus 14: our special guest, Harper!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow

WE'RE SO EXCITED!!!!

And tomorrow's arrivals are only the beginning of the fun!!!!

Europe on a shoestring

Frank and I booked our flights to Italy last night, by way of Asheville and New York City (the latter just for a layover). We are pretty excited. We're (perpetually) anxious to see Chiara, of course, but it was especially thrilling because we found flights for $400!!

More advice to travelers: Build your own trip. When Expedia built it for us, the price tag was thousands more. For what they wanted for four trips from Asheville to Milan, we got Seattle to Charlotte, a rental car in Charlotte, Charlotte to JFK, an airport hotel in NYC, and JFK to Milan. With money left over.

We haven't booked our return trip yet, because we need to do a little more research. But we discovered one exciting tidbit: Flying home from Dublin instead of Milan is about $1300 less, per ticket. It seems like we are **required** to go to Ireland on this trip.

Oh, darn.

Snow!

But not enough to cancel work.

Oh, well. It's still pretty.

400 and counting

I passed the 400-blog-posts mark the other day. Woohoo!

A little announcement

I feel a little odd about this, but I also felt a little odd not saying anything, so here goes...

I have been invited to be one of the speakers at the Live and Learn Conference in Asheville next fall. I am very excited about this and very nervous. I hope my own personal unschooling support group will be there to "seed" my audience with friendly faces. :-)

Kelly says the 2008 Web site will be live soon with all the details.

Taking the debate out of global warming

Have a look. If you find flaws in his argument, I want to hear about them, too.



(Thanks, Schuyler.)

NCN latest

Thursday
- Is anybody arriving this day besides Harper and the Mayers?

Friday
- When you get into town, come on over to our house! No need to call first. If you need directions, send me e-mail. (My e-mail address is at the bottom of this blog.)
- Dinner: We decided to do a sandwich/salad bar at our house rather than going out. This will make the fun easy to find.

Saturday
- Daytime will possibly find us wandering the town in packs. (Trader Joe's, anyone? Or the nice little wine shop in downtown Everett?) Send e-mail if you need cell phone numbers to assist you in locating the group.
- At the party: In case you (Craig) had any doubt, there WILL be jambalaya. And King Cake. And costumes. And an eclectic playlist by MJ.
- Have you heard about the Found Items Raffle? Check out the details and bring something(s) fun!

Sunday
- Football Cliché Bingo is ON. There will be prizes!
- Cheapskate Gambling is also on - a betting pool you can join without breaking the bank (and also without needing a financial advisor to help with your winnings).

¡MUY IMPORTANTE!
I continue to delude myself that I know who is showing up for this extravaganza. If you haven't yet informed me of your plans to attend, please send e-mail! Thanks!

What's in a name

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) Cognac Odyssey - the lead singer for the aforementioned punkers, Hinduism in Mongolia, she is into poetry and welding

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Rocky Road Macaroon - more fluff than tuff

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name-first three letters of your last name) R-Mai - I'm not sure I even know what a fly girl is, but R-Mai is very fly

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Blue Panther - a slinky blonde with an affinity for earrings, champagne, and being underestimated by men

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Ann Ellensburg - the secret daughter of the matriarch of the richest family in town, she is pregnant with her half-brother's child and doesn't even know it

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first) Mairo - a waiflike resistance fighter who will one day save Luke Skywalker's life, then throw him over for Lando

7. SUPERHERO NAME: ("The" + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) The Green Margarita - a Latina hottie with kaleidoscope eyes (she doesn't do much)

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) William Donovan - heir to a shipping empire, Will would rather drive than sit in board meetings, and, really, who can blame him?

9. STRIPPER NAME: (the name of your favorite scent/perfume/cologne, favorite candy) Opium Swedish Fish - nice bod and a decent dancer, but she doesn't get many tips with that moniker

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother’s & father’s middle names ) Valerie Joseph - a mild-mannered school teacher who own day discovers she can throw knives with great... oh, wait, that's been done

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Dyer Denver - a toothy brunette with her eye on the prize (any prize)

12. SPY NAME/BOND GIRL: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Summer Sweet Pea - umm, let's not go there - Bond doesn't deserve this chick

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”) Strawberry Bray - a chipper little-red-donkey sidekick

14. HIPPY NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Cookie Willow - peace love free, baby

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: ("The" + your fave hobby/craft + your fave weather element + “Tour”) The Blogging Sunshine Tour - yep, that's what it's all about

Friday fill-in

1. Family time, especially in the sunshine, and especially on the road, makes me happy. (The memory that leapt to mind when I wrote this: hiking with the girls up to the blessedly cool pools on the Romero Canyon Trail out of Catalina State Park in Arizona.)

2. I would like a housekeeper like Alice, please.


3. Monkey Bread tastes SO good!
Note to my readers who speak the Queen's English (or a different variation thereof)—the "biscuits" are dinner rolls, not cookies.

4. Friday is my favorite day of the week because the whole weekend is stretched out in front of me, full of possibilities.

5. My perseverance is my best feature.

6. We could learn so much from closing every school in the world.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm REALLY looking forward to getting ready for Non-Con North, tomorrow my plans include getting ready for Non-Con North, and Sunday, I want to get ready for Non-Con North! (Get the picture?)


Have a great weekend, everybody!

Thursday 13

This is my 13th TT. I would have liked to do something special like Mary did for her 13th, but I am theme-less today. So here is... A Random Thirteen 1. Why live music is better: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhhLeqjjf20 2. This is the cat I would have if I weren't allergic: I fell in love with Abbies when I met a little charmer named Tiger. He loved me nearly as much as I loved him and sat on my shoulder to cuddle and sniff my ear. I sneezed and wheezed for an hour afterward, but it was worth it! 3. As you might have been able to discern from my TT of two weeks ago, I love movies with ensemble casts best of all. "Two minutes, Turkish!" 4. I find it tragic that the subjunctive is fading from our language, especially when expressing a wish or a hypothesis. However, I once heard (a possible grammar-geek urban myth) about a killer's use of the subjunctive in a note left at the crime scene helping to convict him, since so few people use it these days. 5. Speaking of urban myths, did you know that "Ring Around the Rosie" is probably not about the Black Death? 6. MJ took this: 7. The oldest romance novel I've read (if you don't count Austen, Brontë, et al.) is The Ivy Tree by Mary Stewart, originally published in 1961. It's a damned good book. 8. This is terribly unoriginal—I'm certainly not the first to claim her—but this is my secret girlfriend: Why? She's stunning, of course, she works for the welfare of children, and she did some of her own stunts in Lara Croft. That bungee ballet scene? Beautiful! I'm just glad they skipped the silly falsies in the sequel. 9. Oh my gawd, I just realized I left The Rock off of my list of favorite action movies. For shame! Great quote: "Well, gosh, kind of a lot's happened since then." 10. These are the 935 lies that drove us to war in Iraq — The Center for Public Integrity 11. After Juno, I have had to reconsider my opinion that Jennifer Garner is a horrible actor. She still sucked in Rose Hill, though. Of course, that movie was a pretty terrible adaptation of a pretty charming book, so her suckiness was...appropriate? 12. We have been watching this family transform their house. So nice to have somebody else doing the work for a change! 13. This is the prettiest TT I've ever seen.

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Lying to kids

Mrs. G has a typically entertaining blog post up about the lies she has told her children. Now, I love Mrs. G, don't get me wrong, and I enjoyed the post in (I think) the spirit that she intended it. But I am finding the 90-some comments pretty distressing. Some of them are just compliments to Mrs. G, but dozens are from moms confessing (often gleefully) to their own lies.

Only one person has responded the way I wanted to respond (but didn't feel clever enough to do without offending Mrs. G or her readers). Since this is my blog, I can offend anybody I want.

Why don't these people see the harm they are doing? They are not only not accepting their children as they are, but they are using lies that will eventually be uncovered to disguise their lack of acceptance!

The lies that made me saddest were the ones that were used to steal from a child something that gave him or her comfort. Terrible.

Here's the comment I liked:

I remember feeding my kids some stories so that my own life would be a little more convenient.

Kinda wish I could go back and undo that kind of stuff now.

Trust is precious. My 14yo won't eat with a particular type of fork from the silverware drawer, because he saw me use it to scrape cat food into the cat's dish. He does not believe me when I tell him it's been washed, sterilized, disinfected.

He doesn't believe me about a lot of little things like that, even when they are true.

Really, I'd rather have the trust than the convenience. Too late.

(emphasis mine)

Brava, Laura. Thanks for putting it into words.

Tip for travelers

If your family is like my family, the places you stay while on vacation tend to supply their rooms with plastic cups. Like free wireless Internet, it turns out that is actually one of the perks they offer over their fancy-schmancy counterparts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3OWE2Lx0dk&NR=1

Juno

Go see this movie.

Enough said.

But wait - I also have to say, "Ohmigod, where did Ellen Page come from?" She is amazing. She's beautiful. She's astonishingly talented. And she'll be 20 in a month, despite my having just proclaimed to Frank that she couldn't be more than Juno's 16.

Happy Birthday, Ellen! Thanks for our present!

Hot off the presses

The long-awaited second album of our favorite Hindu punkers was released today!


Here's the meme:

You design the cover of your band's album using these links:

1. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Randomom
The first article title on the page is the name of your band.

2. http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote is the title of your album.

3. http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
The third picture, no matter what it is, is your album cover.

You then take the pic, add your band name and the album title to it, and then post your pic to your blog.

Maybe I was an unschooler from the beginning

I've always been aware that my transition from "homeschooler" to "unschooler" was very brief, but I thought there was a transition. Now I'm not so sure. While cleaning out my office, I came across this note that I wrote when I was researching homeschooling:

I'm interested in homeschooling because I want to give my girls a life less ordinary. I want them to use their time on activities that interest them. I want their individuality to be nurtured and encouraged instead of smashed and buried. I want them to be safe from the social pressures and negative experiences that cause so many girls to suffer a crisis of self-esteem and self-image as they enter adolescence. I want them to get a first-class education, but I am beginning to admit that may not (need to) include college. I want to spend time with my kids; accompany them on their journey into adulthood; celebrate instead of fear their adolescence; support them starting now in their interests, dreams, and endeavors instead of waiting to see what they choose as adults. I want them to be experienced in pursuing their own dreams by the time they need to make adult decisions.

I see our days flowing pretty loosely. I would like some tidiness and some measurable progress each day, but meandering until we discover a goal is okay with me.

I guess all that's really changed are my own definitions of "first-class education" and "measurable progress."

Friday fill-in

1. The last compliment I got was from piscesgrrrl; she said she's adding me to her favorite blogs.

2. I'm reading the book my very best friend recommended to me a year ago.

3. I woke up today and thought, "One more day..."

4. Why does the time til Non-Con North pass so slowly?

5. The last thing I ate was a bite of oatmeal.

6. January... the month before Non-Con North.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to FREEDOM, tomorrow my plans include Real Life, and Sunday, I want to revel!

Thursday 13

Thirteen Reasons I Would Have Preferred to Stay in Bed this Morning 1. It's (still) cloudy. 2. It's (still) cold. 3. I got cozy new sheets for Christmas. 4. The book I'm listening to while I commute is a little boring. 5. I have to commute. 6. It would be better for the environment. 7. I'd rather be sleeping. 8. My left knee is sore. 9. My kids aren't home. 10. It's not like the world would have ended if I had slept in. 11. I am capable of coming up with a good excuse to give my boss. 12. My new officemate is a dork. 13. At some point, it would have been too late to go to work, and then I could have gotten up to do something fun.

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A drum roll please

MJ is done with driver's ed!!!

She had her final drive tonight and passed! Yay! She is very relieved, as she was finding class pretty boring.

Now she has about 9 months to practice for her real test...

She had a fab time in Corvallis, of course, and wasn't ready to come home. I think all the teens are really glad they'll be together again in less than three weeks.

Tonight is STUN movie night, so as I type this there are seven kids, aged 10 to 17, piled in our basement watching Mel Brooks movies. "Blazing Saddles" is first on the agenda, probably Mel's most educational film of all.

The girls have started their dogsitting job, so we might not be seeing much of them for the next couple of weeks. I hope they'll take turns coming home so I can get my kid fix.

A special shoutout to Randi and Kauleen: ((((good vibes))))

Control

"Sooner or later we will come to the edge of all that we can
control and find life, waiting there for us."
— Rachel Naomi Remen, M.D.


I have had this quote featured in the sidebar for a few days, and I think I'll leave it up a bit longer. It's from Dr. Remen's book My Grandfather's Blessings, which I discovered several years ago while on a personal odyssey (as it turned out) visiting a friend in New Mexico. It had quite an impact on me.

I come from a long line of detail-oriented women who (attempt to) leave very little to chance. When my kids were small, my need for control — and it approached obsessive-compulsive levels in those sleep-deprived days — caused a lot of pain in this house.

It's hard for me to look back at that time objectively. Frank and I have always encouraged exploration and individuality to some degree, and we did a lot that can be classified as attachment parenting (nursing on demand, letting the girls self-wean, holding them whenever they wanted, cosleeping in one big family bed). I look at photographs and home movies from the girls' childhood, and they were undoubtedly happy kids who knew they were loved and cared for.

But I remember times that don't show up in those images, times when I screamed and they cried, when I lost my temper and did regrettable things ranging from throwing things at walls to tearing up the girls' new coloring books to spanking them. And I remember 2-year-old Chloe hiding under the diningroom table one afternoon while MJ and I engaged in our latest battle of wills.

I knew that couldn't continue. And since I had gone so far to the punitive side, I knew more of the same or a harsher version of the same was not the answer. I discovered Positive Discipline by Jane Nelsen and began to relinquish control in small ways, letting the girls choose between the red shirt or the blue shirt, and letting them experience a few natural consequences instead of trying to prevent every negative thing. I began, for the first time, to put myself in my kids' shoes and see what the world looked like from down there.

My motives in this were still rooted in control to a certain extent. Punitive discipline wasn't producing the behavior I wanted, but maybe positive discipline would. I'm being a bit overly harsh with myself there, because of course it broke my heart and filled me with guilt when I hurt my kids, and I genuinely wanted better for all of us. But a zebra doesn't shed her stripes quite that quickly, and I know that when I offered the red shirt or the blue shirt, what I really wanted was a kid who was wearing a shirt.

But it was a start. I had gained awareness of my own intense need for control and begun to explore the reasons for it. And I discovered that letting go of some control didn't kill me or anyone else. In fact, life improved by leaps and bounds, and, gradually, when I offered the red shirt or the blue shirt, it was because I wanted my child to have choices.

I also discovered that my kids did not have unreasonable wishes and needs. When I stepped into their shoes, I found that the things they wanted were good, healthy, and easy to provide. Imagine that!

So I let go a little more. And every time I did, I was richly rewarded (positive reinforcement), and the process fed itself.

I think my current enthusiasm for acceptance is the latest step in this journey, so I'll close with a quote from Dr. Remen about that.

"The greatest blessing we offer others may be the belief we have in their struggle for freedom, the courage to support and accompany them as they determine for themselves the strength that will become their refuge and the foundation of their lives."