Pet peeve of the day: apostrophes

I haven't ranted about grammar and punctuation in quite some time, and I'm sure you've all been missing it. So, here we go.

Plurals do not need apostrophes!

Can I just say that again, louder? This is a big pet peeve of mine.

PLURALS DO NOT NEED APOSTROPHES!!!!

Thank you.

Correct: She took her ten dogs for a walk.
Icky: She took her ten dog's for a walk.

Full disclosure: In informal writing, I sometimes break this rule for acronyms. For example, I have a hard time writing "She knows her ABCs," even though I know it is letter perfect. So, I might be inclined to let it slide if you were to type "She knows her ABC's," although I would still NOTICE that damned apostrophe.

For readability, I also sometimes settle for "yes's and no's" instead of the "yeses and noes" that is correct but awfully weird looking.

Contractions need apostrophes!

Let's take let's. In case you were unaware, let's is short for let us. It gets an apostrophe in place of the letters we drop when we contract the two words into one.

Correct: Let's go for a walk.
Icky: Lets go for a walk.

Conversely, lets is a form of the verb to let and does not get an apostrophe.

Correct: She lets me go for a walk.
Icky: She let's me go for a walk.

Note: Verbs only get apostrophes in contractions or if you're waxing Tom Robbins-poetic about the usefulness of a particular verb: Her vocabulary found little stimulation in get's heavy workout that day.

I have previously ranted about it's and its. And don't even get me started on you're and your or they're, their, and there. Oops, too late! But I'll try to keep it simple: Only the contractions get apostrophes.

Possessives need apostrophes, and be careful where you put them!

Here's a quick lesson in possessives. If you are talking about a single person or critter or object, it is apostrophe then s.

Correct: David's dog, the dog's collar, the collar's buckle

If it's a plural that already ends in s, just tack on the apostrophe.

Correct: the Maiers' house, the animals' habits, the bananas' ripeness

When in doubt, see if you can write around the apostrophe.

Words that need apostrophes can be written another way.
"David's dog" can become "the dog belonging to David."
"The bananas' ripeness" can become "the ripeness of the bananas."
"You're funny" can become "You are funny."

But there is no easy, not-silly way to write around "She took her ten dogs for a walk" or "She lets me go for a walk." If you can't write around it, it doesn't need an apostrophe.

End rant.