Friday fill-in

1. My stomach is happy and not overly full.
2. Pie is what I ate the most of on Thursday.
3. The yard work will still be there in the Spring. And maybe in the Summer, knowing us.
4. In my happy place is where I'd rather be at any given time.
5. The smell of melting butter reminds me of Nina's Chess Pie, even when really it's Frank's roux for shrimp bisque.
6. More cowbell is what I need right now!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with the Golds and eating the aforementioned shrimp bisque, tomorrow my plans include hanging out with the Golds and the Boswells, and Sunday I want to get a jumpstart on my workweek.

Thursday 13

Thirteen People and Things I Am Grateful For This Year It's kind of obvious, but it had to be done. 1. The continuing health and happiness of my family, and the huge joy they bring into my life. 2. My friendship with Steph, all 20+ years of it. 3. Judy and Chrissy, for taking care of Marty. 4. My job and the benefits it provides. 5. That Jalen, one of the neighbor kids, is alive. He accidentally hanged himself a few weeks ago, horsing around with his brother, and had to be transported to Harborview. But he's okay now. 6. Mary Gold. Her writing and her efforts in organizing the LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference and her annual Non-Cons are largely responsible for the good unschooling life we're living now. Plus, she's just a good friend to all of us. 7. Kelly Lovejoy, for giving me the opportunity to stretch my wings and discover some new old friends. 8. Caren, for the drumming. 9. Randi, for listening and for letting us feel a part of her journey. 10. I didn't need a root canal. 11. My new, Europe-inspired perspective on American prices. (They're really not that high.) 12. Ireland's ability to live up to my high and exceedingly romantic expectations. It would have hurt to let go of my Ireland-related daydreams. 13. Barack Obama won the election, and I have some (cautious) pride in our country again. Happy Thanksgiving!

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Renewal

I think this is one of the best things I've ever written:

We have no idea what our kids might accomplish if encouraged, and it's not our job to make them "face reality." When offered the Great Gift of a glimpse into their dreams and wishes, we don't have to be their voice of reason or the rain on their parade. We just have to say, "Oh, cool! How can I help?"

It's from this February 2007 post about the movie "Accepted" and unschooling.

Living up to those words isn't always easy. I struggle with very strong impulses to make sure my kids are always properly informed. Or at least that's the lie I tell myself. What it really is, is magical thinking: on some level, I believe that if I point out every potential downside to a plan, it might somehow keep them safe or make them more successful. How silly!

What I am really doing with all those warnings is discouraging them and disrespecting them and making them sad.

I bet you can all relate. Think back for just a bit, and I'm sure you'll remember a moment when something you said made the light go out of a kid's eyes. Or maybe you were the kid. Not a very pleasant memory, is it?

Let's all resolve to put an end to moments like that, k?

Movie review: Hancock

Spoilers follow.

I wanted to like this movie. The previews intrigued me enough that I chose watching it over reading my book last night. I guess I don't exactly regret the decision, but I sure came away disappointed.

The first part of the movie is really good. I was enjoying Hancock's transformation from drunken, abrasive not-so-super-hero to fledgling do-gooder. Will Smith's performance through these parts was nuanced and interesting, and Jason Bateman was a good foil.

And then the movie took a left turn. I had just barely begun to enjoy the all new Hancock when the whole story line with Charlize Theron picked up. And even that I was trying to go along with—or I was at least curious where they were going with it—when the movie took another left turn, and we've suddenly got an ill-defined arch-nemesis and historical background on the characters that was, well, kind of silly. (Question: After listening to the hospital conversation between John and Mary, why, exactly, is she supposed to have hated him? Yeah, yeah, she was scared, but they wrote scenes for an angry woman, not a scared one. And then she had no reason to be angry.)

It seemed like nobody knew quite what to do with the movie after the setup. I know what I would have done: there was a wonderful developing-character story in the making there, and I really wanted to see what that character was going to make of the world. Instead, I got a boring battle and an unsatisfying conclusion.

Maybe it's time for some fanfiction.

Sharing corner

Some unschooling highlights from the blogosphere:

Flo's handy list of upcoming unschooler events

Linda's article on "late" readers

Gail's envy-inspiring photos from ARGH

Caren's lovely, "ordinary" day

20 questions

Self-tagged from Frank.

The rules:
A) People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs & replace any question that they dislike with a new question.

B) Tag 8 people to answer the questions. MJ, Chloe, and six volunteers.

1. How many songs are on your iPod?
It is a sign of my comfort level with my iPod that I thought I was going to have to call MJ to find out how to find out. But it's right there in plain sight! I have 310 songs on my iPod. That I only have 310 songs on my iPod is a sign of my inability/unwillingness to devote any time to loading songs on my iPod.

2. What music would you want played at your funeral?
Umm... "Exactly" by Amy Steinberg. Oh wait....

How about "Satisfaction"? :-)

Seriously, I don't really want a funeral. If my family wants to have one, I want them to play whatever will make them remember the good times.

Update: "Hells Bells" just came on my iPod. That one might be fun.

3. What magazines do you have subscriptions to?
I think "Gourmet" is the only one we're getting right now. I get massively hungry once a month.

4. What are your favorite scents?
Bread baking. Lilacs on the tree. Spring rain. Baby.

5. If you had a million dollars that you could only spend on yourself, what would you do with it?
Quit my job and hang out with my family, at home or on the road. I fantasize about time, not stuff.

But I'd definitely get my very own computer. And maybe an office to keep it in.

6. What is your theme song?
It takes a playlist:
- "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks
- "Brass in Pocket" by The Pretenders
- "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper
- "Head Over Feet" by Alanis Morissette
- "I Fall to Pieces" by Pasty Cline
- "I Try" by Macy Gray
- "It's Money That I Love" by Randy Newman
- "Sisters Are Doin' It For Themselves" by Aretha and Annie
- "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall
- "Sympathy for the Devil" by The Rolling Stones
- "Tell It Like It Is" by Aaron Neville
- "(I Used to Care But) Things Have Changed" by Bob Dylan
- "Walking on Sunshine" by Katrina & The Waves
- "You Shook Me All Night Long" by AC/DC

7. Do you trust easily?
People? Yes. People in positions of authority? No.

8. Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think?
Yes. No. Yes. I think so. Sometimes. Maybe.

9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
What Frank said.

10. Do you have a good body-image?
Mostly. I still see potential, anyway. :-)

12. How do you spend your social networking (Facebook, etc.) time?
Blogging and e-mail.

13. What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
Blogging. Reading. Carbs. And I'm a coffee drinker now, although it takes about a quarter cup to wire me up for the whole day.

14.
Original: What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
If we stretch it a bit and say that Frank tagged me, well, I think he's one of the best people I know.

Frank's: Why do people still believe in the supernatural?
Fear and comfort, not necessarily at the same time.

15. What’s the last song that got stuck in your head?
I have had "Preacher Man" and "Pilot of the Airwaves" stuck in my head for YEARS. They're always right there.

16. What’s your favorite item of clothing?
My "Serenity" t-shirt.

17. Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
With enough sugar, yep.

18. What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
I'd spend it on books.

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Items? My inhaler. Something comfortable to sit on. That might be it.

Being without books for very long would hurt.

20. What should you be doing right now?
Either working or driving home.

Monday Memories

When MJ was not quite 4 and Chloe was 2, we moved to Destin, Florida. We were there for six months, staying in a rented condo on the stunning beach. There was a pool, which we had essentially to ourselves all winter, and both girls learned to swim while we were there. In fact, by the time spring rolled around and the tourists started returning, they were both little fish. Frank and I would lounge in the adjacent hot tub, while our tiny little girls jumped, splashed, and swam in the pool.

It was funny to watch the reactions of the older tourists, especially to Chloe. As she would toddle close to the pool, they would begin twitching with the need to go save her, looking at Frank and me with open mouths and raised eyebrows as we kicked back in the hot tub, smiling calmly. Then Chloe would fling herself off the edge in a high-flying cannonball, paddle to the steps, and do it all over again.

The Spring Breakers provided some entertainment, too. There was one time when a couple of college guys were in the hot tub with us, each with an open beer. MJ came over to the side of the tub and went into obvious cannonball position. We hurried to stop her. "She's fiiiiine," one of the guys said, clearly thinking such a little tyke couldn't do much damage. Well, she was an expert by then, and she drowned everything: us, guys, beers, nearby belongings. "That's a good cannonball," he pronounced. Indeed.

O Canaaaa-dians

Michael Franti and Spearhead (recently featured on this blog) will be
in Vancouver on December 30th.

You wouldn't want a couple of houseguests by any chance, wouldja, wouldja, huh?

Friday fill-in

1. The last band I saw live was a group of guys playing traditional Irish music in a pub in Westport, County Mayo. They were a somewhat motley bunch, but they could play like nobody's business. One guy had longish hair that he managed to set on fire (just a little) by leaning into a candle during a particularly lively number.
2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is Papa's pesto and Mom's pie and hearing what all the kids are grateful for this year.
3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is started but probably won't be completed until the last minute.
4. Thoughts of Smarties fill my head, because MJ the Heartless refuses to go to the grocery store for me so they can fill my stomach instead.
5. I wish I could wear bells wherever I go. But they'd probably drive me crazy.
6. Bagpipes remind me of my great-grandma; they were always her favorite part of the parade.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to the usual, tomorrow my plans include working, and Sunday, I want to get lots of work done so I can have a relaxed holiday weekend!

Thursday 13

A Thursday Thirteen Twofer:26 Movie Moments that Make Me Smile Hugely (mild spoilers may follow) 1. "Who wants pie?" It Could Happen to You 2. "I Will Survive." The Replacements 3. "Write that down." Blast from the Past 4. "Baptism!" O Brother Where Art Thou 5. "He dies?" Shakespeare in Love 6. "This could very well be the stupidest person on the face of the earth. Perhaps we should shoot him." Ruthless People 7. "All You Need Is Love." Love Actually 8. "How do you think I feel? Betrayed, bewildered..." and "Are you afraid of my Guatemalan-ness?" The Birdcage 9. "Sweet mystery of life, at last I've found thee." Young Frankenstein 10. "I trust I need no introduction." Interview with the Vampire 11. "No more goat soup!" and "Americans." The Mummy 12. "You are drunk, and when you are drunk, you forget that I AM IN CHARGE!" and "I dwell in darkness without you and it went away?!" Willow 13. "Nuclear wessels." Star Trek IV 14. "You want a beer, you get your own beer." and "Naturals. My God, every one of you, naturals... We're gonna f**king die." Captain Ron 15. "But why is the rum gone?" Pirates of the Caribbean 16. "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means." The Princess Bride 17. "Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!" and "Germans?" Animal House 18. "The light is green." Happy Texas 19. "Damn you! I'm not an actor, I'm a movie star!" My Favorite Year 20. "The Donger need food." Sixteen Candles 21. "Little Latin boy in drag, why are you crying?" and "That is Miss Anne Baxter in the Ten Commandments and those are the moves." To Wong Foo 22. "I've been burned by you before." Beauty and the Beast 23. "Walk Like a Man." Heart and Souls 24. "Snap out of it!" and "I'm so confused." Moonstruck 25. "I thought you were Joe, Jr." and "Get down on one knee; it's more romantic." While You Were Sleeping 26. "We'll see what the man's sellin'. THEN we'll shoot 'im." Secondhand Lions Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! View More Thursday Thirteen Participants

Musical smiles

Thanks, Jorene!

Marty's birthday

Marty turned 90 yesterday. Frank called to wish him a happy one, but he was sleeping, so Frank chatted with Judy instead. In an IM conversation, I asked Frank how Marty is doing. This was his reply:

Fading would be my best word choice. Judy sez he no longer helps at all with transitions. Sleeping a lot. She's looking into getting some kinda lift-thingy which is apparently the way to go when you aren't strong enuf to move the subject all on your own. Got a "cold" he can't completetely shake. But basically, he's mostly the same, just ... less there... But he still enjoys chatting and tv and getting outside. Not too bad, all things considered.

Chincredible

MSN's teaser:

I knew that chin immediately. Do you? Click the image for the big reveal.

Water

I feel like blogging more but can think of nothing to say. "Water" keeps featuring in the titles I come up with. Maybe I'm thirsty.

On an unrelated subject, I've just eaten half a box of Aplets & Cotlets for dinner. Yum! One of Washington's finest products! That I managed to do this even though Frank and MJ are watching the remake of "Dawn of the Dead" downstairs, and I have seen and heard enough gushing brains to make me a little queasy, is a testament to the fine work done by Liberty Orchards for the past 80 years or so. Their history is fascinating and can be found here.

Chloe has vanished into her room, having discovered some forgotten treasures in my (deep) closet, which used to be her bedroom. I finally cleaned it out some last summer and organized her things-left-behind, but I guess I hadn't told her, because she was quite pleased when she went in there today. She found stuffed friends, the puppets she and MJ inherited from Lynn and me, various small mementos, and so on. It's like Christmas!

Earlier, she was rereading one of her books by Silver Ravenwolf, a magik/Wicca author, and was distressed to discover that Silver got her Norse mythology wrong. Chloe has done quite a bit of reading on/of Norse myths since the last time she read Silver's book, so she was able to immediately recognize the error when Silver said Freya was a moon goddess and Odin's wife. Not!

Me, I wouldn't have known the difference.

One of the concerns about homeschooling is that the kids will learn only what their parents know. Laughable concept to those of us living the life.

Another is that they will think only what their parents think. *snort* *snuffle* *guffaw* If that were true, most of my conversations with MJ in the past week could not have taken place, and the recent rather heated talk that MJ, Chloe, and I had about school would not have inspired me to introduce a talking stick into the mix. (We didn't have a talking stick handy, so we used my inhaler. This produced much laughter, but it did the job.)

How do I know what a talking stick is? I have no idea. I just picked it up somewhere. Maybe my kids told me, but I have the feeling the knowledge is older than they are. Maybe I saw one in a movie long ago. The closest I'd ever come to using one before this was passing around a little hacky-sack-type thing so a hearing-impaired coworker would know who was speaking.

Last night, Jon Stewart did this little "Devil Went Down to Georgia" thing to explain Georgia's runoff election process. MJ knew the song. How? I have no idea. Well, I have some idea: this is a woman with a serious passion for music. But this is also a 30-year-old novelty song! A country novelty song! Nevertheless, she got the joke.

Sandra Dodd has said that a lot of learning is about getting the joke, and vice versa.

Did you know I have a calm energy? Caren said so. It was news to me, but it's an interesting idea: Ronnie as calm person. Sometimes I probably manage it. And, hey, I have long fingernails now!

A new hopeful sign: Some abortion foes shifting focus
"...a growing number of antiabortion pastors, conservative academics and activists are setting aside efforts to outlaw abortion and instead are focusing on building social programs and developing other assistance for pregnant women to reduce the number of abortions."
Now maybe we can get something done.

Lieberman is being welcomed back into the fold. Ick.

Oops, gotta go, Chloe wants to use the computer. Later!

Maybe in 2010

We had thought that our Life After Europe would be somewhat calmer than our Life Before Europe. It's not working out that way. 2008 is definitely our year for socializing.

We've discovered community. I posted some about that here. It's wonderful and we love it, but because our community is spread out all across the freaking continent and in England and Australia, being with our community has meant quite a bit of traveling. Or they come and stay with us, so it means having houseguests. One or the other, every month this year.

Can you say "Busy!"? I knew you could.

And the thing is, it's so freaking fun, we can't say no. Over the course of the last year, each of us has had weary moments where we longed for a break. And then the next invite would arrive and we'd say, "Okay, after this, we'll rest." So here we are, with 12 months of socializing under our belts.

It's not like us, in case you didn't know. It seems like only yesterday that Frank and I were wishing we had more adult friends, MJ was wishing she had more teen friends, and Chloe, well, Chloe loves being alone, so never mind her.

I have friends who are into the Law of Attraction (aka "The Secret"). For some, it means opening themselves up to pursue/receive/achieve something they want, while for others it means they can have whatever they want just by believing they will get it. I don't have enough belief in the mystical to get behind either, really—or I have too much ego to relinquish credit for anything I've achieved—and it doesn't feel like what happened here anyway.

It was more like a snowball rolled down a snowy slope. It started with an e-mail message, I think: "Let's get together." And before I knew it, we had arrived at today, with 12 straight months of unschooler gatherings under our belts.

Pretty remarkable process.

So now we're thinking, well, after New Year's we can rest.

Hey, it could happen!

The Doings Report

A quiet week for us. Frank and MJ made the round-trip run to Corvallis in the rain, so Chloe is home. Both girls are working on NaNoWriMo and/or fretting about their wordcounts. Frank had his turn at the dentist. (Can you tell we have new insurance? We were insured before, but we hated the only dentist that was covered by our plan. This made for some serious dental avoidance.)

The sun came out Saturday! This was good news for our very soggy state. We had pretty good weather while were at the Hawks game Sunday, too, although it wasn't enough to boost the boys into winning. They sure put on a good show, though, keeping us on our feet, screaming, right up until Matt's (expletive deleted - gotta start cleaning up my blog rating again) interception killed their game-winning-touchdown drive with two minutes left.

Game Day Highlights:

• The helicopters that flew overhead (part of their Military Day observances), then disappeared into the mist-shrouded city beyond the stadium.
• The very football-savvy Seattle crowd. I am always impressed anew when we go to games. They are SO loud helping out the defense, but quiet way down when our offense is on the field. Pretty cool. And we still (even after a season such as this) have the highest opponent-false-start count of any stadium in the league.

The MR2 had a visit to the shop for brakes and a new clutch. The price tag of this work was gut-wrenchingly high, but still so much cheaper than buying a new car, however tempting that might be from time to time. (We had a Corolla S as our loaner car. Lotta temptation in that little package!) And the clutch had a six-digit mileage count on it, so we can't complain too much.

Other than those things, all I can think of are the things I'm not getting done, mainly Christmas shopping, housework, and "enough" regular work. I think (hope) I am fast approaching that mystical place where the pressure I'm under causes me to undergo a sort of cellular transformation that allows me to achieve superhuman feats of accomplishment.

Hey, it could happen!

Rating the blog

I tried the little blog-rating tool Mary featured on her blog. It gave me a PG rating for repeated use of the word "zombie" and one use of the word "torture."

Somehow it missed the post where I featured "fuck" and several posts where I used "shit" and a whole bunch of posts where I used "hell."

It'll be interesting to see what it thinks of my blog now. :-)

Update one minute later: Yep, that did the trick. I'm rated "R" now.

Being unreasonable

This post was inspired by Idzie and is part of my Act Like a Big Baby Day celebration, since today I don't have to be politically correct.

So, the topic is Veterans Day. Every year, this holiday inspires a messy stew of mixed feelings in me, and every year I bite my tongue. Not this year.

I don't have a problem with honoring our veterans. There are some veterans in my life whom I honor very much. However, I am at root a pacifist, and I find our twice-annual national recognition of this particular group of people a little distressing. My discomfort has nothing to do with their service; it doesn't matter to me how long they served, whether they served in peacetime or wartime or both, whether they lost friends or limbs or just a little time.

What bothers me is that they are the only group we honor, and I think that makes a terrible statement about what we value in this country.

Where is our holiday for honoring people who serve in other ways, the firefighters and cops and EMTs? These people face horrors daily, for decades, and they, too, lose comrades in arms.

Where is our holiday for honoring the peaceful people who protest our country's more outrageous acts? They, too, sacrifice time, money, comfort, safety, their freedom, and sometimes their lives.

Where is our holiday for honoring people who choose low-paying jobs in nursing, education, charity work, and so on, just because they care? They, too, set aside personal advantages and work for the common good.

Twice a year our president (of either party) makes a speech thanking veterans for their service, and all the media outlets rush to cover it, and all our schoolchildren are forced to participate in assemblies, and many of us break out our flags and our gratitude for a few hours. And that's okay with me, it really is (well, except for the forcing part). I wouldn't want to live in the world we'd have if not for the people who fought in most of our past wars. I don't really want to find out what the world would be like if we got rid of our armed forces (intriguing idea though it is).

But neither do I want to define patriotism as carrying a weapon or dropping a bomb. We can do better than that! I can do better than that:

Patriotism is loving your country enough to take action.

Period.

Here are a dozen patriotic 'veterans' I am honoring today:
Daniel Shays
Sojourner Truth
William Lloyd Garrison
Elizabeth Blackwell
Alice Paul
Edward R. Murrow
Howard Zinn
John Taylor Gatto
Allison Krause
Crystal Lee Jordan
Michael J. Fox
will.i.am

Friday fill-in

1. Please feel free to do things my way.

2. When I write with a Sharpie I can't help sniffing it occasionally. (This came to mind because MJ recently made herself a little loopy by using one of those big fat Sharpies in an unventilated area.)

3. My favorite thing to cook is pasta. I don't even need sauce, just a little too much butter and a little too much salt.

4. Time to read is something I can't get enough of.

5. That's the thing I love most about being sick: I get to read.

6. The guy cruising along in the fast lane even when the rest of the freeway is empty always makes me think to myself, what the heck?

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out with Chloe, MJ, and Frank, tomorrow my plans include Christmas shopping and some time alone, and Sunday, I want to see a Seahawks victory at Qwest Field with Lori and Brian! In the sunshine! (Hey, it's not too much to ask!)

ALABBD

I hereby declare the second Friday of every month:


I'm tired of being a good little soldier. I'm tired of focusing on joy. I'm tired of being fair. I just want to be pouty and unreasonable.

And I don't think it's unreasonable to have one day a month for doing that!

So there.

Want to join in? Feel free to steal the above primitive image to use as a button on your sidebar. If you really want to get into it, link the image to this post, and leave me a comment so I know who's in the club.

Update 2/13: ALABBD is evolving. See here.