What unschooled kids talk about when they get together

Horror movies and how idiotic the main characters often are
Anime
Other kinds of movies
Video games
Politics and current events
Music
SCA
Fear Factor
Comic books
Manga
Other kinds of books
Their feelings
The weather
Sports
Sibling relations
Blackberries (the fruit, not the device)
Airsoft rifles
YouTube
Other cultures (especially Japan)
Horses

You get the idea. Just about the only thing unschooled kids don't discuss much is unschooling. It's a topic of conversation for the parents, because it takes some work to wrap our schooled brains around the concepts, and we like to hear each other's stories and be reassured as to the rightness of what we're doing. For our kids, it's just LIFE.

Speaking of traveling...

The girls and I are heading out tomorrow for an impromptu roadtrip. We'll spend a few days in Joshua Tree National Park and then head over to San Diego to finally meet my nephew, Colin. I'm on a roll with these unschooling essays, so I might do a little blogging from the road. If not, I'll do a trip report when we get back circa 3/1.

Unschooling all the time

It occurred to me that choosing to write about my kids' learning on a day when they were sick was illustrative of another reason unschooling works: learning happens all day, every day. There are no school hours, no weekends off, no holidays, no spring breaks, no teacher work days, and no sick days. You might say our kids have to go to school every day. We prefer a slogan of the unschooling community: "Everything counts."

Below, I've chosen a few "rot your brains" examples to show how learning comes from surprising sources:

Watching movies and television

1. Chloe and one of her cousins were flipping channels the other day and landed on the "The Phantom of the Opera." They got hooked and watched through to the end, whereupon they came sobbing out into my mom's livingroom to say what a good movie it was. They had missed the beginning, so Chloe put it into her Netflix queue. She's been watching that this weekend, singing the songs, discussing the movie, etc. Coming up next in her queue is the Lon Chaney original. Doing my part, I pointed out that it started out as a legend and then a book, so we're headed to the library tomorrow to check it out. It's a literature unit a teacher would approve, and it's been entirely self directed.
2. I mentioned in another post that my friend Stephanie had gotten me hooked on "Firefly." Well, now I've gotten the family hooked on it. It's led to so many interesting discussions. For example, the political environment of the show is similar to that of our post-Civil War era, with the Alliance in charge and the "browncoats" (including our hero, Captain Mal) struggling with resentment and bitter defeat. We picked up the official published guide to the series, and it has information about, for example, the design of Mal's gun, a high-tech one-off of a Civil War revolver. We've also discussed the look of the show and how they use lighting, somewhat old-fashioned film techniques (often faked in CGI shots!), and costumes to create atmosphere. And then, of course, there is all the shared enjoyment of what is simply a fun, expertly crafted bit of entertainment!

Video games

Quite a few unschoolers have learned to read by playing video games. There's a lot of text on screen, for one thing, and reading is required to go out on the Internet and look up cheat codes and such.

For most kids, game playing is an indisputable physical workout. I've never seen so much wiggling and laughing. And amazing social interactions take place when kids gather around or even just discuss a game.

Video games are now being credited with kids' developing "higher skills" (e.g., problem solving and analytical thinking), to the point that educators are starting to catch on. This article outlines how they are starting to use games as learning tools (although they think they have to write special games for it -- talk about making yourself feel needed!).

But it's more than that. Just ask any unschooling parent who has watched a video game inspire a kid. They play, and then they start making connections. Rather than reinvent the wheel and describe this process, I'll simply direct you to an excellent article by unschooling parent Mary Gold, If You Give a Kid a Nintendo.

Reading the funny papers

I talked some in my last post about all the learning that's been triggered by my kids' interest in manga and anime. But our first experience with funny-papers learning happened way back at the beginning of our unschooling. The girls discovered my old Far Side, Bloom County, and Calvin & Hobbes collections. Wow! All of a sudden, we were discussing biology, liberals vs. conservatives, freedom of the press, the Reverend Moon, transmogrification, drawing styles, and innumerable social events of the 80's (e.g., rock-and-roller cola wars). It was lightning-paced, it was vibrant, it was FUN!

Going on vacation

We've done more than our fair share of traveling. Our number one goal while traveling is always having fun. We never -- NEVER -- structure our days around learning, and we never sit down to teach our kids anything (unless they ask us to). So, all in the name of fun, the girls (and Frank and I) have learned about geology, history, evolution, biology, social and cultural issues, natural disasters, meteorology, politics, physics, writing, economics, mathematics, various interesting careers out in the real world, various really nasty jobs out in the real world, foreign languages, etymology, entomology, enology, conservation, pollution, government funding, and, of course, map reading.

Oh, yes, and vocabulary. :-)


The point is, learning is natural and unavoidable. It's not constrained to a classroom, a schedule, a curriculum, or a season. And it's inspired by everything.

What unschooling looked like today

This is the first in a series of peeks into our unschooling routine (or lack thereof). I'll shoot for posting one mid-month each month.

But first, a quote from Chloe: "The purpose of unschooling is to make sure everyone in your family is happy with their life."

I couldn't have said it better. And now, the report on today.

Both girls are a little under the weather, so it was a pretty sedate day today. Nevertheless, there are a bunch of activities to report. In addition to the activities in the list below, both girls reviewed my last blog post for accuracy. They're my subject-matter experts. :-)

Chloe
Read some fanfiction
IM'd with MJ (yes, MJ was in the next room)
Chatted over AIM with the Mini Skirt Army
Set up a new blog (she's not sharing it yet)
Discussed Fruits Basket (a manga series)
Plugged different dates into a zodiac calendar online
Watched the last disk of Full Metal Alchemist
Talked philosophy with Mom
Played with the rats
Had a pillow tug-of-war with MJ

MJ
Reread select passages in Eragon
Worked on her 2nd sci-fi novel, including a swordfight that is "completely badass"
IM'd with Chloe and a friend from NBTSC
Made plans with her cousin for Saturday night
Checked in on MySpace
Discussed Fruits Basket (a manga series)
Watched some South Park and the last disk of FMA
Talked philosophy with Mom
Updated our Netflix queue
.....(Alert: MJ's movie, "Zoo," is coming soon!)
Played with the rats
Had a pillow tug-o-war with Chloe
Listened to her iPod

I've been asked to clarify that the IM conversation between the two girls was actually an icon war. Just don't ask me to explain that. :-)

Academic translations for a few of those activities
Several:
Socialization!
Language arts (creative writing, editing, critical thinking, book reports)

Zodiac web site: Math - Chloe was calculating years of birth for Fruits Basket characters

FMA: alchemy vs. science and mechanics, history (WWI, zeppelins and the blitz, and the build-up to WWII), seven deadly sins

Fruits Basket: Japanese culture, names, language, Chinese zodiac, biology, and Choir (they sang the FMA and Fruits Basket theme songs together - in Japanese!)

iPod: Music Appreciation and Music of the World (it's a very eclectic collection)

Pillow fight: PE, of course!

----------------
P.S. After I posted this, the girls and I went back to our individual activities, MJ still listening to her iPod and Chloe fiddling with my deck of cards. I got on YouTube because I wanted to hear "Spirit in the Sky" (don't ask me why). I found one clip of the 45 going 'round and 'round, with a comment attached that the center dealie on the record looked like a swastika. Someone then pointed out that the swastika was originally a Hindu symbol, which I didn't know, so I got on Wikipedia to learn more. My expressions of surprise and interest drew attention from the girls, so we finished up the day with another impromptu history lesson. These weird little chains of connections are one of the reasons unschooling works so well. That's another big subject and one I'd love to expound on more, but I'm going to call it a day.

The girls don't seem anywhere ready for sleep, though. Guess they'll have to continue their learning without me.

Accepted

Did any of you have a chance to see "Accepted," a little movie that came out last summer? It's about Bartleby, an enterprising young man who, faced with a series of college rejection letters and a pair of severely disappointed parents, comes up with his own college, the South Harmon Institute of Technology (you supply the acronym). He and his friends create a letterhead, set up a web site, and hang a sign on a former mental institution, then recruit a cranky, shoe-selling former professor to do the welcome interview with Bartleby's parents. The fun starts when a web-site snafu leads to hundreds of kids showing up for the first day of school.

The movie was marketed as this generation's "Animal House," and it certainly contains enough collegiate antics to qualify. But as much as I loved "Animal House," and despite its none-too-subtle jabs at college administration, the Greek system, and politics (remember, Bluto becomes a senator), "Animal House" doesn't come close to containing the important messages that "Accepted" contains. It explores the idea that kids who lack the 4.0 GPAs, test scores, athletic abilities, and other credentials traditionally valued by colleges still have a lot to offer, and that we are all worthy of acceptance.

It probably goes without saying that I loved this movie. It spoke to my unschooler heart. The scene where Bartleby welcomes the new students and tells them that, here, they will be accepted for who they are, brought me to tears.

With traditional parenting and traditional schooling, kids are dictated to, criticized, corrected, pressured, shamed, and pigeonholed. There are hundreds of rules to follow -- the shoulds, I call them -- and a very small set of traditional goals that are deemed worthy of pursuit. Don't get me wrong: there may be a wealth of love and encouragement in these kids' lives. But I believe the presence of those positives can only balance the negatives; it can't make up for them.

Our approach with unschooling is different, and it's demonstrated pretty nicely in the movie. Instead of leading with "This is who you should be," we ask (or simply wait watchfully to be shown) who our kids want to be.

This kind of acceptance represents a huge subject, the core of unschooling, and it has many parts. Education and learning styles, socialization and manners, whether kids should be "toughened up" or protected, whether parents should discipline their kids, nutrition, hygiene, chores, and even financial issues. I might go into more depth on some of those in later posts, but for now, here are some principles we live by:

• Our kids are okay just the way they are.

I should highlight that one or something. It's huge. If you really want to "get" unschooling, meditate on that concept for a while.

• If our kids are not okay (unhappy times, challenges to face, something missing from life, etc.), it's our job to help them find the resources or tools they need to get back to being okay.
• Our kids are, at all times, learning and changing, and it's our job to be attentive to and supportive of that.
• If our kids are having fun, they're learning at top speed. It's our job to facilitate fun.
• We trust that our kids will learn what they need to know, when they need to know it. There is no lesson, academic or social, that has to be learned by a certain age, and parental embarrassment is not a good reason for shaming a child.
• There is no good reason for shaming a child.
• We trust that our kids will, on their own, fill their time with the activities that are best suited to their moods, needs, interests, and natural learning processes.
• It's our job to provide a resource-rich environment for our kids, no matter how messy it makes the house.
• We have no idea what our kids might accomplish if encouraged, and it's not our job to make them "face reality." When offered the Great Gift of a glimpse into their dreams and wishes, we don't have to be their voice of reason or the rain on their parade. We just have to say, "Oh, cool! How can I help?"
• It is much better to say "yes" than "no," even if it is a qualified "yes." For example, I might say, "Yes, we can go to the mall just as soon as I finish this blog post" instead of "No, not right now." It's a little thing, but all those yeses add up to a much more positive atmosphere.
• The lifestyle we are living was our choice (meaning mine and Frank's); supporting the lifestyle is our responsibility and not something to be foisted off on the kids. This includes caring for the house we live in.
• A kid who is acting out, angry, frustrated, or crying is a kid who needs help and understanding. And maybe some food. It's the adult's job to stay calm, step back, try to see through the kid's eyes, and listen.
• Kids need space to feel their emotions instead of pressure to stifle them. (Small kids might also need help identifying their emotions; sometimes hearing a description of what they're feeling is all they need in order to calm down.)
• Punishment has no place in our home.

Well, that turned into a long list, but it really comes down to trust and acceptance. We trust our kids to learn and grow and thrive in the loving home we provide, and we accept them, as-is.

The unavoidable opposite of acceptance is rejection. I think adults inadvertently aim a lot of little rejection darts at the kids in their lives, thinking they're doing the kids a favor by attempting to "fix" trait x, y, or z. Knock it off! Just love them and trust that they'll get it all figured out in their own good time. They will!

New furniture

Frank and I have a new bedroom set. After many years of "maybe someday" and then a couple of months of fruitless searching for something light and airy enough (but still attractive) to suit our "undersea" bedroom decor, we finally decided to just buy something we like. The pieces are big, dark, heavy, and (we think) gorgeous. You can see the pieces here (except we got a tall chest of drawers instead of the dresser shown, and we don't have an armoire) and a detail shot of the marble top on the nightstands here.

Oh, and btw - we didn't pay anything close to these prices! There's a pretty cool furniture warehouse/store near us that offers wholesale or container prices. We have several friends and family members who've found good deals there.

More work coming to fruition

Chloe and I returned home from some errands a little bit ago to find a package from Microsoft on the front porch. My boss, David, sent me my very own copy of Point of Sale, the cash register and inventory management software that has been the focus of my professional life for these past few years. It might sound lame when I say so, but I am very excited to have it. I'm really proud of this product; it's slick and powerful. Having been in on the ground floor, I've gotten to contribute a lot to its design, usability, and continuing improvement, and the documentation set is the best I've ever worked on (if I do say so).

If anybody has a store that needs computerizing, I can help!

Point of Sale Web site

A peek at what I do

The project I finished up before I left Microsoft has been published to the Web. If you want to take a peek, it's here. Enjoy! :-)

Sale of the Zombie Princess

Well, it's official: the good ship Zombie Princess has a new owner.

The boat sale saga:

Interested party #1 -- The spider-bitten jailbird

Back in November, we had a cash buyer all lined up. We'd agreed on a price and were set to do paperwork. Then he vanished. Eventually, our broker learned that he had been arrested for being Drunk and Disorderly. He served his 30 days or whatever and then resurfaced, still interested in the ZP, before dropping away again, claiming to have been bitten by 18 brown recluse spiders who were living on his boat. Don't ask me why 18 reclusive spiders would all be living on one boat, or why they would all decide at the same time to be sociable enough to come out and bite him. If the jail sentence hadn't been enough to convince us he was a gen-u-ine Key West character, the spider story pretty much confirmed it! But he hung around the periphery right up until last week when we gave him one last chance to ante up. No deal.

Interested party #2 -- The reverse boatlift Cubano

As some of you may recall, back in 1980, more than 100,000 people left Cuba, with Fidel Castro's blessing, and arrived in the U.S., primarily in the Miami area. (Many of these turned out to be inmates of Cuba's prisons and mental hospitals -- sending them to America was Castro's solution to their overcrowding problems.) This became known as the Mariel Boatlift.

Well, evidently rumors have been flying for months among the Cuban population in Florida that Castro is dead. Some Cubans with means have been buying up boats on the cheap in preparation for a mass return to Cuba. I'm not sure what their goal is, reclaiming the whole country or just their own abandoned property, but whatever it is, they're planning to go.

One of these hopefuls became interested in the ZP in early December. He submitted a lowball offer, so our broker very kindly backed out of the deal, giving us her $2500 commission for extra negotiating room. Frank called the buyer directly to see what could be arranged. In short, NOTHING. The guy was exceptionally abrasive and pushy, wildly exaggerated the boat's faults, etc., and managed to completely alienate Frank. We decided not to sell to him unless we could do it with Vanessa running interference for us, negotations broke off, and the deal fell through.

Our only regret is that if we'd sold to the guy, we evidently would have been contacted by some U.S. government agency or another about bugging the ZP before the guy took possession. We don't have any strong feelings about the government in Cuba; it just would have been fun to imagine some poor agent listening to this guy spouting obnoxious things all the way from Key West to Havana.

Interested party #3 -- The baffled Brit

Just after Christmas, we struck a deal with a man from England who was shopping for a little boat on which to go cruising in the Caribbean. It looked very promising until he had the survey done. The surveyor pointed out that the compression post wasn't original, and the buyer got fidgety, even though replacing the compression post on a Hunter is a Very Good Thing. He ultimately decided against buying her, stating that it wasn't the survey that swayed him but a reconsideration of the to-do list for getting her ready to cruise. We were disappointed and frustrated -- he knew the to-do list before he put down his deposit! -- but what could we do?

Interested party #4 -- The bicycle repairman

With power at the boatyard about to be cut due to major construction, we were feeling pretty panicky about the boat still sitting there. Without power, an unattended boat in the water is in great danger of sinking, because the batteries go dead and the bilge pump doesn't run. Dreading the thought of having to go down and find her a new home, we began to reconsider the offer of a KW local who had been checking out the ZP for months and months. He was clearly a serious buyer, but he "had to have" seller financing.

I did a bunch of research about seller financing a boat. The consensus: Don't do it!

But we're doing it anyway.

It's a gamble, but Greg seems like a nice guy. He's very earnest when he talks about repaying us, and he doesn't have bad credit so much as no credit at all -- not even a department store card. We've tried to dot the i's and cross the t's on the loan paperwork, and I followed a bunch of advice about making it as easy as possible for the buyer to repay, but for us the bottom line is that (1) the boat is being tended to now, (2) somebody else is paying for her mooring and insurance now, and (3) there's a chance that we'll end up receiving a decent price for her.

We received the downpayment today, so the boat has actually shifted from the "expense" column to the "income" column. It's a major milestone.

The Bill of Sale goes out Monday, so we have reached the end of the tale of the s/v Zombie Princess.

The End?

Not really. This should conclude the Blog of the Zombie Princess, but then I'd have to start a whole new blog for family news, unschooling essays, and my occasional political opinion pieces, AND you all would have to update your Favorites. So, I've decided to continue blogging here even though the ZP is no more.

Does that make me the new Zombie Princess???

I guess I can live with that.

The Princess is dead. Long live the Princess.

Weirdnesses tag

I've been tagged. I'm always happy to respond to chain questionnaires, so here are my six weirdnesses (or six of my weirdnesses, I should say), in no particular order.

1) I get a little freaky over the amount of tape that gets used when wrapping a present. "Not so much! Not so much!" The only thing that kept me sane when the girls were tape-happy toddlers was buying each of them her own roll. Then I could be as anal as I wanted with *my* roll.

2) No matter how tired I am, I turn bright-eyed and chatty when I go to bed. Frank has long since learned to wait it out: I chat, chat, chat, chat, chat, then pretty much fall asleep mid-sentence, just like that.

3) I eat marshmallow creme by the spoonful.

4) I *really* have a one-track mind. I have trouble carrying on a conversation if the radio is playing, and people generally have to grab my face to get my attention if I'm reading.

5) I save my tax returns for decades. I probably still have the first one I ever filed back in 1984.

6) I pace. Frank says I'm a shark: If I stop moving, I'll die.

I won't tag other people in turn. If you're reading this and you've got a blog, feel free to join the game with a weirdness post of your own. Or chime in with a comment here.

I'm back!

Here I am, returned both home and to blogging. Last week, I finished up my latest contract at the Velvet Sweatshop and immediately flew off to Georgia for a few days visiting my best pal, Stephanie. (She and her husband, Rick, moved to Athens last summer, having had enough of Northwest weather. Seems like they got out in the nick of time.) We did some sightseeing and shopping, but the highlights were a bunch of time spent having complete conversations, a fab multicourse dinner at a restaurant near their house, and their introducing me to Firefly, an excellent TV series that should never have been canceled -- check it out on DVD!

Now, I am settling into life at home. I have to be away from Microsoft for 100 days (required after every 365 days worked there as a temp, ever since a certain lawsuit filed against the company). My Big Plan is to enjoy some time with my kids. Frank's work continues, so I get to revel in my time off, knowing we still have income. Pretty cool.

I am very tardy in announcing the birth of Molly Eileen Lewis to proud parents Jerry and Cori. She arrived January 19th, a few weeks ahead of schedule. She weighed in at just under 6 pounds and had to spend a few extra days at the hospital to finish "cooking," but mother and baby are both doing well. J-man gets out of the Marines late February (not late March as I previously told you, Jorene, yay!), then the family is moving home. They'll stay at Grandma Judy's while they get settled. Grand-aunt-ma Ronnie is very excited to get her hands on that baby, but we're not sure when that will happen.

Our other item of news is a sad one: We said good-bye today to Snowball the rat. She died in her cage this morning after living several months with a large tumor and showing distinct signs of old age. MJ and Chloe are pretty sad -- Snowy has been with us through a lot of adventures -- but they find distraction in a couple of comedians called Rodney and Lestat.

Anyway, we're all doing well. I'll try to fill in more details of the past few months in subsequent posts.

Happy New Year!

Yes, we're still here

I am a terrible blogger, I know. I'll resume operations after the holidays, if not before, but for now I wanted to let everybody know that we're fine after Hurricane Northwest. Our neighborhood never lost power, so we have heat and light and working freezers and cool things like that. It cost me a work day, though, because Microsoft is dead as a doornail -- which I unfortunately didn't discover until I had driven down there and inched my way through about a dozen dead traffic lights. And we had a houseguest briefly, my coworker who drove into work not realizing she wouldn't be able to fill her gas tank to get home in the horrible traffic.

I could rant about the traffic -- where exactly did all those people think they were going? -- but it would be a bit of pot calling the kettle, since I was out there with all the idiots.

Anyway, we are safe and warm, with a fallen fence the worst of our complaints.

In case you don't hear from me before then, I wish you the happiest of holidays. Merry Everything!

Memories from February 2005

Chloe's amazing talent

Nick and Chloe on the Space Needle observation deck

Chiara and Ronnie at Priest Point

Marty on the move

Marty's physical and occupational therapy is coming along really well. He can walk a little bit now, using his walker (which he was using even before the stroke), and is able to get his shirt off and do other tasks like that. This morning, he confounded Frank (and probably himself) by maneuvering himself to the side of the bed, lowering the rail, and climbing on out of bed. He ended up on his knees and needed help, but it was some impressive feats of strength and dexterity up til then.

They had a family gathering yesterday with the whole gang out at Judy's. I'm sure the company and food were just fine. Sorry I missed it!

Photos

I had to steal this photo of MJ's birthday party from Erin's blog:
Ella, MJ, Chelsea

And here is a blast from the past -- Chloe at approximately age 2, feeding ducks at Lafreniere Park in New Orleans
(photo credit: nephew-son Jerry):

Derek's triumph

Check out this entertaining and impressive video of Frank's cousin Mary's son, Derek, achieving a personal best.

http://www.strangepuzzle.com/videos/3x3x3 DerekTilton 52.75.wmv

Grammar makes a comeback

From the Washington Post:

Grammar for Teachers
"The Loudoun County school system offers an annual summer staff development session called Grammar for English Teachers, tailored to teach the basics to teachers who didn't learn them in college. 'It usually fills up pretty quickly,' said Carrie Perry, supervisor of English language arts in Loudoun... The newest English teachers are products of a grammarless era, unprepared to distinguish an appositive from an infinitive.

"'What you have is a generation of teachers from the early to mid-'70s who don't know grammar, who never learned it,' said Benjamin, an author of the national council's publication. 'We have armies of teachers, elementary teachers and English teachers, who don't have the language to talk about language. It's kind of their dirty little secret.'"

Grammar for Students
"In surveys, not quite two-thirds of students said they had studied grammar by the time they took the 2005 SAT.

"Those concerns, and a growing consensus among scholars that many high school graduates 'can't write well enough to get a passing grade from a professor on a paper,' drove the addition of a third section to the SAT, upending decades of balance between reading and math, said Ed Hardin, a content specialist at the College Board.

"The new section introduced a long-form essay and -- less publicized -- a series of multiple-choice responses that test how well students can assemble and disassemble sentences."

The full article is here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/10/22/AR2006102201135.html

Brief e-mail from Chiara

Chiara wrote to say that she loves her new college life in Milan. She didn't share any details, unfortunately (e-mail being her least favorite conversational medium). I'll track her down and provide more info as I get it.

Nonconformists?

I'm an emo kid, nonconforming as can be

You'd be nonconforming too if you looked just like me

"The Emo Song"

Traffic was really bad when I drove home from work yesterday, so I cut over to a side street once I reached Everett. There was a pack of teenagers strolling down the middle of the road. There were five or six of them, girls and boys, all dressed in black, with black hair, piercings, tattoos, studs on their clothing, etc. Real badasses. They stayed in the middle of the road even as I came up close to them, then grudgingly moved aside (gray vans winning out over black Vans any day of the week).

They all looked over at me, no doubt expecting to see irritation or even an angry gesture or two. Instead, I was grinning like a fool. They were so cute!!!

On their way

MJ and her friend Kyla are on their way to San Diego for some fun in the sun with Papa Bill and Renée, Aunt Lynn, Artie and Colin, and, of course, Brody-the-Airedale. It's MJ's first time flying without a parent. She's pretty excited.

They don't have firm plans yet for what they'll do. Evidently the weather is fabulous down there, so just about anything will be a treat. There's been talk of the zoo, the beach, and maybe Dizzyland (as Papa Bill calls it).