Evidently the universe thinks I need more patience. Or evidently I do. Backing up my own feeling that I didn't exercise enough patience in recent comment discussions on my blog, I got two messages today:
This blog post:
I've Walked Many Miles in Your Shoes
and this quote:
The job of the spiritual friend is to insult you. . . . If you really want liberation and you really want freedom, you need people around who are going to be provoking you to show you where it is that you still have work to do.
~ Pema Chödrön
My thanks to Jeff for the post and to Laura for bringing the quote to my attention. Oh, and thanks to the spiritual friends who brought me the message, even if it wasn't quite the message they intended for me to receive.
3 comments:
Oh, Ronnie. I just read that recent thread (this post made me curious) and I have to say... your words came across as patient to me.
Some folks showed up on your blog wanting to argue and fight and nitpick. I can't imagine why they'd want to do this, but they did. How frustrating.
Your willingness to listen and to take their comments seriously was both kind and tolerant. If there is anything to see in the "mirror" that your new "spiritual friends" provided, I hope (for you) it's this.
Thanks, Rebecca - it is nice to hear that I didn't come across as purely bitchy. But I did lead with attack, in my mind at the very least, and then had work to do to come back around to a point of actually discussing things. I don't know about the feelings of the people I disagreed with, but I know what that felt like inside me: yucky. This desire to do things differently if there's a next time (and there always seems to be a next time) is for self-care reasons as much as anything. It's too stressful to be in conflict.
Yes, I get that...
A friend of mine suggests "smile and nod" ... like those little nodding dogs that people used to put in their car's rear window. I haven't mastered it yet, unfortunately. And the times I do adopt that as my approach, I feel much less sticky at the end of it all.
BTW, I have this stuck underneath my computer screen. It's supposed to help me remember that I want my life to be more than a series of online conflicts with people I don't know and, quite frankly, don't need to agree with.
Someone is Wrong on the Internet
You've probably seen it already...
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