Crunch mode

I didn't think I'd have time to blog today, but I'm wide awake early. We have entered crunch mode for MJ's wedding--T minus 12 days--and my brain has apparently switched back into work mode. (One of the reasons I burned out, I swear, is because intensity in my life translates to an inability to sleep more than seven hours a night, when normally I do eight to ten.)

The reception area in the barn is emptied except for wedding goods, so MJ has been stringing fairy lights. It's SO pretty when she tests them!

My job is to, at intervals, help her move the scaffolding that lets her reach the rafters. Between intervals, I've been bouncing from task to task, but mostly I've been shoveling. There are still some blackberries to remove from an area that will soon be a flower bed, and I've been working on cleaning up the fire pit (which will probably be a big bowl of flowers at wedding time because the entire West is under a burn ban).

Joe got the barn floor pressure-washed. A previous wedding out there involved some golden glitter, so the puddles from the washing looked good for panning. 😀

A friend is bringing us hundreds of yards of white tulle from her daughter's wedding, so we need to figure out where that goes.

Yesterday we figured out the best spot for the porta-potties, which means we have one more spot requiring blackberry cleanup. I'm starting to enjoy it--it's very satisfying destruction--so I'm probably losing my mind.

There's a lot left to do, and our collective anxiety is rising, so I've put together a big Beach Club work party for today. Many hands make light(er) work. I think we'll all feel better after a crew of 8 spends a few hours out there.

Yesterday, in between work parties, we squeezed in MJ's family shower. Chelsea hosted another lovely event, and it was wonderful to see seven of the eight girl cousins (4/5 of my mom's grandkids) together, especially since Megan leaves in a few days for her internship in Bahrain.

Okay, that's all the time I can spare. Onward!

Sunset last night

I'm testing a workaround for a Blogger app bug. If it works, this post will be accompanied by a photo of our stunning sunset last night. 😊

Long live Big Stinky

Tacoma, Washington, has something of a smelly reputation. I can't remember what was the cause of Tacoma's smelliness (it was pulp mills here in our town), but it was distinct and unpleasant, and residents of our fair state knew it well. That reputation went briefly national when Arsenio Hall did a series of jokes in his monologue that all began, "Tacoma is so stank..."

But when Toyota was putting their new pickup into production and conducting market research on names, they found the name "Tacoma" was associated with stank only in the Pacific Northwest--relatively small potatoes, market-wise. They gambled that we would buy the truck anyway.

And we did, back in 1995. But the city's reputation lives on in our minds, and we christened that truck Little Stinky.

Fast forward to last week, when we made ourselves the proud owner of another Tacoma. It's white like our first truck, has a double cab instead of the legless-children backseat of the access cab on our '95, and has the increased heft, horsepower, and height of this generation of Tacomas, so its name was obvious: Big Stinky.

We're pretty excited. The tow capacity is a staggering 6,500 pounds--literally 3,000 pounds more than the van--so we're abundantly covered for our little trailer, and we have some cushion if we ever want to upgrade. And it's cute in a manly way and kind of fun to drive once you put your brain in truck mode. My favorite feature is the tonneau cover, a nifty contraption that folds forward in sections so you can access the whole bed without having to crawl. Slick!

Other than car shoppingand starting to prep the van for sale, the week was devoted to clearing out the house. I took a big load to charity and sold 1000 paperbacks to HPB (for a whopping $10--I should have given them to charity too). All of the art and tchotchkes are either packed up or gone. And last night I sorted and stored my collection of office supplies and am officially banned from ever shopping a back-to-school sale again.

We have bare walls and empty shelves all through the house. It's a little surreal to look at, and I absolutely love it.

What's left: the furniture and the contents of the kitchen cupboards (most of which we're keeping at least until after the wedding houseguests leave), the garage (*shudder*), the music gear, the electronics, our personal clothing and belongings, and all the things I won't be able to see until all that is dealt with.

Sending off July and Koyo

I finished up July by sorting books and belongings and shoes. We're single-handedly supplying Value Village with inventory for the rest of the year.

All of the memorabilia I've squirrelled away, we're keeping. Maybe someday I'll have a stonier heart and be able to part with these things. But, as a for instance, I have the journal my great-grandmother kept while she was away at boarding school in her teens. I saved this stuff for a reason, you know?

We got home yesterday from sending Koyo off on his roadtrip east. We went with him as far as the Icicle River and hiked the Gorge in the wonderful dry heat and camped one night at Ida Creek (in the best site! wh00t!). He called it Camping 101 and he seemed to have a great time. It was hot enough that he and I both went swimming in the very cold river, with a big initial kiai from him and much whimpering from me. But it was great once we got used to it.

Yesterday, we waved each other off in opposite  directions on Highway 2. It was hard to let him go on without us, both because we've gotten very attached to him and because the road was calling us. But we'll be following him easterly soon enough, and he's hoping to come and see us someplace warm at winter break.

T minus one month

We're coming up on one month until MJ's wedding. Gulp!

We're both going to give toasts at the wedding. Mine is still very much in the planning stages, but Frank has been working hard on his. He keeps making me cry, so I think it's going to be really lovely.

We answered question one about the trailer yesterday: Can we take all of our necessities and stay under the combined total gross vehicle weight rating? The answer is yes. It would be a comfortable, minimalist life.

Question two was about the van, mechanically, and with question one answered, we were able to focus on it better. Mechanically, the van is fine, but we think not fine enough for an extended roadtrip with mountain-pass towing. It has two seals that are leaking oil, neither of which is a big deal under normal conditions, and both of which are very expensive to replace (one requires pulling the transmission and the other requires pulling the engine). So, we're getting more serious about truck shopping. Finding a used Tacoma that has what we need and doesn't cost nearly as much as a new one is not easy. New ones are really, really nice but a big hit to our financial profile. We're heading out today to talk to the credit union about reality.

But even with increased towing capacity, we want to stay with our minimalist packing. We know from our year in the tent trailer that we don't need much. We'll probably use no more than a couple hundred of our added 3000 pounds of capacity. That leaves a lot of oomph for climbing mountains.

This past week has been mostly about our house. I finished cleaning out the storage room, so I was able to start using it for keepers storage. And yesterday Frank and I moved the definite yeses from the "trailer maybes" pile to the trailer. We have a little more room to move in our living and dining rooms now! Taking a big load to charity will help even more.

I've also started doing the touch-up painting on the exterior of the house. I got the east face done Friday, minus one corner I'd rather not attempt without someone holding the ladder. Oh, and minus the basement door, but painting that is going to be fun! New color! (It's currently the last remnant from our old purple trim.) Frank has three days off, so we'll tackle the big-ladder zones together.

Wedding tasks this week were not labor intensive, but I did a few. Shopping mostly, both my own and some that MJ delegated. We took Frank's suit to Nordy's to be tailored. I moved a button on Frank's dress shirt. And I trial-run painted the frame of one of the little chalkboards MJ bought to use for signs around the wedding. It went okay, but as I told MJ, both painter's tape and my skill with a brush have their limits.

The shoes I ordered arrived, and they are cute, but I don't think they're The Ones. MJ is going to come over and make the call for me.

I completely forgot to report last week about MJ's first bridal shower (of two). Niece Chelsea hosted, and it was a really lovely event, with photo booth, flower crowns, sherbet-in-rosé cocktails, and the most beautiful and delicious cookies. It was a lingerie shower, and MJ received some extremely gorgeous items for her trousseau. Really fun day! https://www.instagram.com/p/BlOrtxhAAXb/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=1fw3emu34q423

Our weather continues spectacular. Northwest summers are amazing. It's supposed to get hot again tomorrow, but they've backed off from the high 80s forecast, so I don't think we'll be too uncomfortable. We'll do the painting early while it's cool and probably still be glad the north face is mostly in full shade.

The middle of the middle

We're in that awkward, intermittently discouraging phase of the summer where a little is done on a bunch of projects but nothing is finished. I'm in checkmark withdrawal.

And my early success throwing things away hit a snag when I started going through boxes of baby and toddler stuff. There is no. way. -- no freaking way -- I am throwing away 5yo Chloe's handprint or MJ's first portrait of her family. You know??

So our required storage space just got a little bigger.

Frank's work at HD is going okay. He had a moment of vicarious righteousness the other day when he learned a coworker had stormed into the managers meeting and demanded that the scheduler (whose incompetence is quite stark) be fired. We'll see if anything comes of it. Meanwhile, Frank is hoping for continued scheduling of multiple random 4.75-hour shifts per week rather than the three 8.5-hour shifts in a row he got last week. That was hard!

The farm is coming along, with the grounds tidied up and focus shifting to cleaning out the barn where the reception will take place. Frank and I worked yesterday and today on constructing and painting a shelf thing that will serve as the open bar. And we did another dump run today. Our neighbor's utility trailer is getting a workout.

As is our van, and it's been throwing oil. We find out tomorrow if it's a small problem or a it's-time-for-a-new-vehicle problem. Our pocketbooks are strongly in favor of the former, but our hearts have serious truck lust. We're taking cautious peeks at the available Tacomas, used and shiny new, and fantasizing about all the extra hauling capacity. (With the van, we need to pack ultralight and were kind of excited about that until this little oil problem.)

The PNW heat wave is in full swing. It's not all that hot nor all that humid by New Orleans standards (our N.O. relatives are really looking forward to visiting here next month), but houses generally don't have air conditioners here, and we're all HOT, especially if we try to do physical labor. And have I mentioned how my life is at least 50% physical labor these days? But even slugs like Rigby are feeling it.

Koyo has decided to do some camping on his way east and will be leaving end of the month. We might go with him as far as Icicle and show him the ins and outs of tent camping, with Icicle Gorge as our compensation. Anyway, to make sure he survives camping in Wyoming, we surprised him with a 20° sleeping bag that Dick's had on sale, and he was thrilled. It might also serve as an excellent additional quilt for his bed come ND winter!

The 16-8 intermittent fasting I'm doing is going well. It's kind of fun and by itself has reset my eating habits, since I need to be mindful to get enough quality calories in during my eating phase.

And I'm still loving Habitica. It's a great tool for me, with its soft extrinsic rewards and (as customized by me) its lack of negative consequences. And it syncs up reasonably well with Getting Things Done principles.

1000 pounds

I moved about 1000 pounds of stuff around on the farm on Friday and Saturday. I've impressed even myself.

With that and the weed annihilation I accomplished out there, our contributions have reached a natural, if temporary, conclusion. We'll focus on our own projects for a while and then do another round of helping closer to the wedding.

Sunday was rest day for me. It was so so so so good. I read and scribbled and relaxed on my deck and hung out with the cat and it was just about a perfect day.

Today, Frank was off, so we tested all of the systems on the new trailer. Everything went fine except we noticed (probably because I had bare feet) that the whole trailer was a bit electrified. We traced the problem to the surge protector: with that off, no problem. Frank continued researching and found the real problem was the polarity on the outlet we had it plugged into, yet one more legacy of the crappy renovations done to this place by the previous owner's contractor. (It's hard to blame them: they weren't getting paid.) Different plug, surge protector on, no problem.

Everything else is working fine, and we're feeling a good bit more knowledgeable about our new home.

Tonight for dinner, I made chicken drumsticks, fresh green beans, and fresh corn on the cob. It was scrumptious, if I do say so. I love summer food.

I'm experimenting with intermittent fasting, following an 8-16 plan. Not eating for 16 hours is so far pretty easy (I'm asleep for half of it), and supposedly it puts one's body into a fat-burning state we don't usually reach. We'll see. The trickiest part is remembering to eat more when I eat, to make sure I get enough calories to sustain my suddenly rather active life.

Japan comes to visit

Koyo's mom was in town from Tokyo this week. On Tuesday, she fixed us a home-cooked traditional Japanese family dinner. I've already forgotten the names of everything, but it was a feast. https://www.instagram.com/p/BkzM9HYgRNH/?utm_source=ig_share_sheet&igshid=5ssy8xtui54i

Then on Wednesday, Koyo and Mihoko joined us on my mom's deck to watch the Everett city fireworks across the bay. It was fun introducing them to the whole Fourth of July BBQ with fireworks deal.

And our house didn't burn down. And Rigby is mostly over the trauma of suddenly living with explosions.

On being Facebook-less

I am a few weeks into yet another break from Facebook. In my circle, we call this "going Sabo," a hugely affectionate nod to the guy who shows us how to keep ourselves healthy by stepping back from the whirlwind when we need to. I really needed to. The great strength of social media is that it can amplify social issues. The great danger of social media is that a lot of us are doing that amplification into an echo chamber, serving no real purpose but to make us all feel like we're *doing* something (even when really most of our audience already thinks like we do).

Its lesser danger is that it can wear out us sensitive types by repeatedly bombarding us with the same handful of crises. The world can seem really bleak when I look at it primarily through a social media lens. Don't get me wrong: it looks pretty fucking bleak from out here too. But I can focus my energy on real action, hopefully not aimed into an echo chamber, and then look at pretty flowers and happy activities and adorable photos on Instagram (the social media I'm keeping) and really give my psyche a rest.

And then there's the time factor. For me, Facebook is an irresistible bog, tempting me in with its little endorphin faeries and then refusing to let me go once I'm sunk in the delightful muck. There is no wading in a bog: you're either all the way in or all the way out. I choose out.

In the couple three weeks since I quit, I have stayed in touch with friends, stayed reasonably well informed about world insanity, and gotten a whole shitload of stuff done, including some reading, some civic action, some self-improvement, some exercise, and some healthier eating. I'm happier and more productive and more organized and less distracted and less panicky about the survival of the country and our species (because what the hell good does it do to panic!). And, with great love to my friends who are struggling, I must say it's a relief to have fewer sad personal stories passing before my eyes. I was carrying a lot of empathy weight to no real purpose, so many of my friends being 100s if not 1000s of miles away from my ability to really help them.

Anyway, I recommend this. I have my brain back.

Suited up and ready to work

Big progress on both project fronts last week!

First up, at home: Emma and I loaded 900 pounds (literally 900) of stuff into neighbor Jodi's utility trailer, and then Frank and Emma and I unloaded all 900 pounds into the transfer station pit and watched their heavy machinery make that 900 pounds look like tidbits. Always an interesting experience going to the dump!

All that quantity of stuff came from nearly 30 years of... not hoarding exactly. It is more laziness or a lack of ruthlessness about getting rid of stuff. In any case, Frank and I share the trait to varying degrees, and there is a lot of never or no longer valuable stuff in our house, yard, and garage.

But its quantity is greatly reduced now! Feels great! We cleaned out under the deck (swing set, a muffler, old tiles, a dessicated Christmas tree, and other flotsam and jetsam), hauled about 8 eighty pound set-in-the-bag bags of concrete from under the rose of Sharon, finally parted with a bunch of toddler toys that have been rotting and rusting away in the play log cabin (and making a cozy home for ginormous spiders), and loaded up a bunch of stuff that we have been pre-dumping into the garage for the past several months (old carpet pad, old subfloor, old toilet seats, a dead boom box, and much, much more).

On the wedding front, Frank has ordered a suit and I have ordered four (yes, four) dresses. We'll know this week if any of these options will be fabulous enough. If not, we'll break down and do some in-person shopping.

MJ and I met out at the farm for another work day. Unfortunately, this was the day after the aforementioned 900-pound dump run, so I was only good for about three hours. I knocked down a sagging section of fence and weeded around the play area, and then I did the very satisfying job of cleaning out a couple of overgrown horseshoe pits that MJ hopes will get used during the reception. Wheeling my debris piles off to the pre-dump pile about did me in, so I called it a day!

And then yesterday was Seattle Pride. Niece Maddy and I marched with the ACLU, had a blast, and about killed our feet. My Fitbit tells me I walked more than 7 miles yesterday, between pre-, parade, and post- walking. We finished off the day by walking her dog, Kodi, to my house for (our) dinner, and then she walked him home again! The woman is a badass.

So, today, I'm having a much needed rest day. Frank is off, so that worked out nicely, and we've had a lovely day together. We spent some of it chatting with Koyo about his experience of Pride (positive) and other random topics (he learned the phrase "speaking of which" today, which tells you a little what the conversation was like). Then I ran a few errands, which mostly involved sitting in the car. Perfect!

A tale of two summers

I have two big projects going on this summer: emptying out our house in anticipation of our departure, and helping to prep the farm for MJ's wedding.

The former had been delayed by number of factors (Frank's bday party, LIFE is Good, trailer swap, and, oh yeah, my procrastination), but I got it underway in earnest these past couple weeks by cleaning out Koyo's room (as it's now called with the arrival for the summer of a  Japanese student--Frank's friend from Kendo--here until he leaves for UND in August) and starting to empty out the tremendously overstuffed laundry room.

Koyo's room is where we had stored a whole bunch of things (things we considered "keepers" before we decided to hit the road again, including our 800+ VHS tapes) while Frank redid the flooring in the basement family room. So that was a big job. Some got relegated to the donation pile I'm growing near our front door, and a lot got moved elsewhere in the house.

In case you're wondering, after much debate, we're keeping most of the VHS collection. VCRs can still be found, and it would cost thousands to re-create the library on DVD or cloud. But problem: where to store them. Solution: the murder room. It's a cubby in the basement, behind the furnace. It had been open to the furnace area, but when Frank built the second closet in Koyo's room, it became its own little space behind its own little door. Chloe and Casey took one look and dubbed it the murder room, and so it is now named.

Did I say emptying Koyo's room was a big job? Ha. Yeah. The laundry room puts it to shame. Our laundry room is large, with eight big deep shelves. LOTS of storage space. And we have used it well, most recently as a dumping ground for "keepers" scavenged from all over the house. The room had become so crowded that it was down to a single walkway to the machines. Not cool.

But it's better already. A significant portion of the keepers turned out not to be keepers after all. We decided to keep our LPs due to sentimental value (plus, they sound better, says Frank) and part with our cassette tapes. The LPs joined the VHS tapes in the murder room.

A significant portion of what's left in the laundry room (not including sporting goods and Christmas decorations) is trash, not even worth donating after nearly thirty years of dust, damp, and neglect. I see at least one dump run in my future.

As for the aforementioned sporting goods and Christmas decorations, I'm ready to be done with 90% of it. We'll see how Frank and MJ feel.

The last category in there is paint and other home-improvement supplies. I suspect at least half of that can go, but Frank is more familiar with what's there.

As for my other project, I had my first workday at the farm yesterday. MJ and I worked together to rake out the amphitheater, bridal walkway, and play area, and we strolled all the grounds making my assignment list. I'm the only member of the crew who doesn't work, so I'll be out there on my own some days. Pity me: all alone on wooded acreage with a couple of friendly dogs.

It's a hard life, but somebody's gotta live it.

How it will be

How it was

Tent trailer in action

Farewell, old friend

We dropped our tent trailer at its new home today. Sad to see it go, happy to see it already getting some love from its new owners (especially the 10yo!), exciting to take this step toward our new adventure.

Onward!

It's here!

But we're too tired to enjoy it! 😀

Book review: The Five Second Rule

The Five Second Rule is by Mel Robbins, a no-nonsense self-help guru I think I'd enjoy having a beer with. She mentioned the five second rule almost in passing in her TedX talk and was flooded with comments from people it helped. So, she published this book.

The TedX bit is very short. The book should have been shorter. It's full of (cringe-inducingly unedited) testimonials, and Mel made the unfortunate decision to introduce the testimonials by telling you what they say. Then you read it yourself. So, especially the early chapters *really* drag without giving you any great quantity of practical info.

The later chapters are better, and the book as a whole is, well, a miracle cure for procrastination.

When I started reading the book, I was procrastinating many things, but the most public and pressing thing was my one-hour talk for LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference. I had nothing done, just a collection of links and some half-assed scribbled notes. I sat down with the book one day, got about ten pages in, and then got up and started writing my talk. I made significant and high quality progress on that talk and its accompanying slides for three days in a row, and then it was DONE. What's more, it was done two days before my personal deadline and five days before the actual presentation. If you know me, you know how unprecedented this is.

And I hadn't finished the book! The Five Second Rule is life-changing. Skim or ignore the boring, repetitive bits, pick out the good parts version, and watch things start to happen.

Also, definitely do the free 31-day coaching Mel links to in the author blurb area. Good stuff!

Spoiler: One of the lessons in the mentoring asks you to do something you've been procrastinating. That lesson hit my inbox maybe ten days after I read the book. Friends, there wasn't anything. I couldn't think of anything I was procrastinating because I'D DONE OR STARTED EVERYTHING. Seriously. Miracle cure.

Cleaning is hard

I cleaned 14 years of road dirt out of the tent trailer today. So. Tired. But it looks good. Then I closed it up. It's not the last time--we'll open it up again to give our friends who are buying it a setup/takedown lesson--but it was the last time with it as *ours*. Bittersweet.

BUT that gets us one big step closer to moving it out of the back yard and moving the new trailer in. We pick up the new one tomorrow!!

After cleaning, I took Rigby to the vet for her annual exam and vaccinations. I've also (today and previously) stocked up on food, flea meds, and kitty toothpaste, so she is cleared for launch! I'm really hoping she'll immediately find the new trailer homey and more secure than she found the tent trailer. (Have I mentioned it has walls?!) I trust she'll adapt in any case. What choice does she have?

I was going to wash the exterior of the tent trailer tonight (we have light until 9:30 these days), but I am beat. ¡Mañana!

Instead, I vacuumed out the basement bedroom, which we have been readying for our summer guest, Koyo. He's a student here and a friend of Frank's from Kendo. He'll stay with us for two months, starting next week, until he moves to his new school in North Dakota (brrr). I'm nervous about having someone in our space again, especially given how busy this summer is, but he's extremely nice and Frank and I are both really looking forward to learning more about Nihon.

And now I'm drinking some of the beer our bandmates left as tribute and pondering all the goodness of the weeks ahead, god willing and the creek don't rise.

We join our story already in progress

If I try to catch this blog up with everything we've done since the last post... No, there's too much. Let me sum up.

Currently:
- Frank and I and Rigby the cat are living at home, cleaning out our lives.
- Frank has two new knees and is working part-time to supplement our income. He just celebrated his 70th birthday in grand style, with a birthday bash where he got to provide the musical entertainment (along with some fellow musicians and his faithful Hot Backup Chicks).
- I am still joyfully, gainfully unemployed--coming up on three years post-MS. Wh00t! At the moment, I'm playing the role of a 50s housewife and loving it. #whoknew
- MJ is getting married in August! She and her fiancé, Joe, live in a cute apartment in Arlington near their pack of friends.
- Chloe is coming up on her two-year anniversary as a resident of Minneapolis. She recently completed her first term at U of M on her way to obtaining her BA in history.

After MJ's wedding, Frank and I are hitting the road again. To that end, we are trading in the tent trailer for a travel trailer. Walls! Just park and sleep! Such luxury! A local unschooling family is buying the tent trailer, so that feels good. Rigby will come with us and will just have to adapt. MJ and Joe will rent our house, lose their commutes, and get a dog.

We have no itinerary. We don't care much where we go. Everyplace is just right.

Now we're cooking

The house is full of the aroma of roasting beef, heavy on the onions and garlic. This is the perfect accompaniment to our overall sense of accomplishment: Today, we finally (finally!) took real steps toward cleaning out our house in preparation for either renting it out or selling it at the end of the summer. Huzzah!


But we **almost**didn't. We **almost** wimped out again. Frank and I had resolved earlier in the week to, at the very least, make a bit of progress on Fridays and Saturdays, our habitually emptiest days. Great plan! And then suddenly this morning we realized, oh shit, TODAY is Friday. Feet dragging, we started making lists and scoping things out (aka, stalling). But, lo and behold, a plan did begin to form, and we found ourselves not only laying some necessary groundwork but actually implementing the plan. Wow! Wondrous!


Today's steps: (1) rescuing from the garage those few items that aren't outright trash, and (2 and the part that happily snuck up on us) putting a bunch of other dump-bound stuff into the garage, where that "one big pile of garbage" can await a Designated Dump Run Day(tm). These efforts have made a measurable and therefore highly encouraging visual difference in our home. We're happy!


To cap off all this goodness, I just tried on an old pair of size 10 505s AND THEY FIT. My time at the gym since January is paying off!! Feels great!!


And soon there will be roast beef. Life is good!

I napped through 4:20 4/20

This is why it's kind of silly for me to live in a state where marijuana is legal.


But... It's 4/20, which means I've been off Facebook for just shy of three weeks. As you can see, I have not filled my FB hours with blogging. Apparently I don't have a burning need any more to broadcast the details of my life. I do miss hearing about yours a bit. Send me an email! Frank can PM you my address.


Keeping up with current events takes maybe ten minutes a day. I'm reading a lot less opinion and analysis these days and sticking to just the facts. It's nice. I'm informed and able to respond where needed but no longer embroiled. It's much easier to see now how much of my day was taken up with repeated coverage of the same news.


I have no amazing advances in productivity or creativity to report. But maybe the "quiet" is starting to sink in. We'll see.