A Must Read for newbie unschoolers

A few weeks ago, Chloe and I attended a talk by Blake Boles. He's a staffer at NBTSC and an advocate for unschooling and teen (ad)ventures of any stripe. During his talk, he recommended Drive by Daniel H. Pink. I put a hold on it at the library and have been waiting my turn.

Well, I started reading it tonight, in between trick-or-treaters and football plays. In the first few pages, I found all the reassurance I would have needed back when I was a newbie unschooling mom.

You should read the book. But I think this is too important not to summarize.

In the 40s, Harry Harlow and a couple of other researchers gave some rhesus monkeys some mechanical puzzles to play with. Their intent was to give the monkeys time to get acquainted/comfortable with the puzzles before they began testing their ability to learn to work the puzzles. They thought that without basic-needs motivation (food, water, sex) or extrinsic motivation (punishment or rewards), the monkeys wouldn't learn. What happened instead was that the monkeys learned to work the puzzles just fine, thank you very much. Just because it was fun to work the puzzles. Just because they were curious.

This was a major psychological and cognitive discovery: intrinsic motivation not only exists but works.

But what really surprised the researchers, and what would have made a big difference to my nervous newbie self, was that when they began their formal study of the monkeys' learning and began to introduce rewards, the monkeys' performance got worse. Harlow wrote, "Introduction of food in the present experiment served to disrupt performance..."

For some reason (and maybe Pink attempts to explain it later in the book), our educational system has completely ignored this research. Our educational system is entirely based on extrinsic motivation.

But unschooling? Unschooling is entirely based on intrinsic motivation.

Q.E.D.

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Update 11:09 p.m. -- A friend directed me to this cool animation based on Drive.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing with routines

I read in Less that the Dalai Lama, when asked what one word he would choose to describe the secret of happiness, said routines.

I imagine there are personality types for whom this is not true. It's true enough for me that I've been giving it some thought since I read that. I have a couple of examples of small routines that give me tremendous pleasure, and that have definitely helped with my fall gloomies.

• Green smoothies – From the gathering of ingredients to the feeding the blender to the actual consumption, these magic drinks have transformed my morning into a blissful little session of self-care. And knowing that I've given my body such an infusion of healthful things makes me feel healthier, all day long. Two months of almost daily smoothies later, that's a whole lot of healthier!
• Books on CD – Each day that I commute to work (which is more days recently than usually), I go out to the car with a spring in my step because I know I get to listen to a story all the way to work. I check my disc-and-track note from the previous drive, pop in the correct CD, and cruise down the freeway feeling like I'm on vacation. The entertainment and its fabulous distraction from the frustrations of city driving can't be discounted, but it is the establishment of the routine that has given this sanity-saving measure its oomph. Every commute is fun—even the ugly ones, even the one where I limped home on the tiny spare tire, even the ones where people are rude or slow or both. Every commute. Do you know what a transformation that is for me? This post might give you a clue. (Aside: I read once about a study that people who commute are more likely to have heart attacks. I have to wonder if those stats would be different for commuters who listen to stuff they love while they drive.)

Inspired by the success of these routines, I added a Morning Pages routine, a salad-for-lunch routine, a walk-in-the-door routine, a tweeting-while-watching-football routine, a meditation-at-work routine, and an evening routine wherein I write a one-sentence journal, tweet my gratitude list, and put checkmarks on my resolution list. Each routine adds an anchor point, or perhaps a GPS waypoint, to my day. Each routine gives me comfort and enjoyment. And each routine contributes to a feeling of well being, a feeling that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and taking care of me. I really think the Dalai Lama might be on to something here.

So now I'm wondering what other routines I can add to my day...

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This concludes my NaBloPoHalfMo effort for October. Tomorrow I either start NaNoWriMo or decide a blog post per day is enough of a commitment. You'll be the first to know which I chose.

Happy Halloween!

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing with single-tasking

At its roots, Microsoft is a single-tasking company, and the task is computing. Beyond the roots, things get complicated. The company produces hundreds of products, provides continuing support for multiple releases of each product, and involves itself in dozens of industries in order to provide targeted software for those industries.

That multitasking approach trickles down. The team I'm working for at Microsoft is responsible for three key products and a number of smaller ones. Several releases of these products are planned, developed, and supported simultaneously. As a tech writer, I am involved in all three phases for most of them: I review and contribute to specifications, I write documentation to be included with new releases, and I write materials to help existing customers.

In addition, the environment here is one of fast-moving collaboration. Everybody is juggling multiple projects and multiple responsibilities for those projects, which means not a day goes by without someone being in urgent need of information or a deliverable that only one or two people on the team can provide. Meeting those urgent needs is part of what one signs on for when one works here. You stop what you are doing and respond.

With multitasking at the core of my professional life, and with my professional life taking up such a large percentage of my whole life, it can be a real challenge to make a shift to a more focused approach. But every instinct I possess is telling me that's what I need. That's why I was drawn to meditation and enjoy it so much. That's why I'm researching ways to slow down, simplify, get clear, focus, and do one thing at a time.

Doing one thing at a time... Funny that something so simple would be something I have to research, something I have to work at and practice. But it's a big change; I've been striving for "maximum efficiency" for a lot of years now.

Small example: Eating. Do you know how often I sit down to a meal without doing something else while I eat? Maybe twice a week. The other day, Chloe fixed dinner and set the table and got us all to sit down and eat together. Day before yesterday, I ate my lunch salad without checking email or surfing the 'net while I ate.

That's it. But each of those meals counted for SO much in terms of how I felt about my day and myself. It felt like I chose the proper prioritization for once. (And that I would tack "for once" on there is both accurate and disturbing.)

Those meals and moments also made me greedy for more. I want more one-thing-at-a-time moments. I want more chances to give focused attention to what's in front of me.

I'm sure you'll be pleased to know that while I was writing this blog post I did nothing but write this blog post. And, miracle of miracles, I experienced no interruptions while I did it.

If you want to read more about single-tasking, try these:
http://zenhabits.net/start/
http://zenhabits.net/light-life/
http://mnmlist.com/distractions/
http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/05/27/the-4-taoist-secrets-to-doing-less-and-getting-more-done/
http://doingless.net/

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing with history

One of the professors in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter books is the history teacher, Professor Binns. His story is that after he died, he got up (as a ghost) and went right on teaching his classes. He is exceptionally boring, and his classes are a good chance for the students to catch up on sleep.

Ms. Rowling couldn't have chosen a better metaphor for how schools approach the study of history.

There is a nice scene in one of the books (Chloe could tell me which one) where the kids realize that Professor Binns might be able to supply some information that they need. He is quite startled to find himself suddenly facing a roomful of attentive students. That, too, is a good metaphor. First, history is chock full of helpful information, and it is, sadly, all too rare for people to look there for answers. Second, kids are more attentive—their eyes light up!—when presented with information that is relevant to their lives. The books make it clear that the more typically dull eyes of Professor Binns' students reflect a problem not with them but with his snooze-fest teaching style.

Some real life teachers might take a lesson from that.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Equivalency test

More musings about guarantees...

I hosted a little "Intro to Unschooling" a couple weeks ago (coinciding with the James concert because some really amazing unschooling voices were gathered together for that). I gave a little talk about some unschooling basics and then my fellow concert-goers plus Heather and TJ and Frank formed a panel for a nice little Q&A session.

During my talk, I touched on how some unschooling newbies are looking for guarantees. "Do unschoolers go to college?" many ask. My personal question back in my own newbie days was "What if I ruin their lives?????" (Who's a drama queen, me? Naaah.) The answer to my question was, "What if you leave your kids in school and that ruins their lives?" My answer to the college question is, "Do high school kids go to college?" Some do, some don't. Unschooling is no different and offers no guarantees (except that your kids will know a lot more about what they want and enjoy than your average high school grad).

What I didn't address and wish I had is the question of whether unschooling provides an equivalent education.

Short answer: Not even close.

Longer answer: Schools offer a pretty limited set of classes. Much is typically* excluded from the standard high school curriculum. Here are just a few examples:

• Philosophy
• Comparative religions
• Art history
• Accounting
• Japanese
• Organic chemistry
• Hula hooping
• Peaceful resolution of conflict
• Gourmet cooking

* Emphasis on typical. Yes, I know some schools offer classes in some of these subjects. More power to them.

Unschoolers might learn about one or all of these instead of taking a class on biology. Or they might learn copious amounts about some specific aspect of biology (e.g., cellular mitosis) instead of taking the "quick dip" survey-style course that was all that was offered at my high school.

But the way that an unschooling education is decidedly not equivalent to a high school one is that everything our kids learn is grounded in their real lives, driven by their own interests and experiences, fueled by the love, support, and creativity of their parents, and enhanced in immeasurable ways by the resources offered by the unschooling community. That is something the schools come nowhere close to matching.

NaBloPoHalfMo: This vehicle does not come equipped with seatbelts

Today, I want to talk about keeping our kids safe.

It's probably what parents want most in all the world, right? For our kids to be safe. Every parental concern, from academics to hygiene to video games, boils down to this.

We had a stark reminder recently that unschooling alone is no guarantee of safety: a teen member of the unschooling community committed suicide. The news has left his friends reeling (What could they have done differently? Why didn't he know he could talk to them?) and us parents taking a hard look at how we support our kids.

I don't have any answers. Over the years, in spite of the accepting environment that is unschooling, my kids have wrestled with shame and fear and feelings of inadequacy. They've had their dark moments. I can only speculate about what has gotten them through those moments and what was missing in this boy's life or psyche that he couldn't do the same.

But his death has been an important reminder to me to Pay Attention. To connect with Frank and my kids Now. If things aren't working, I need to fix them. If they need additional or different support, I need to provide it. And above all, I need to make sure they know that I am a safe space for them. No matter what.

Frank and MJ and Chloe, how can I love you better?

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing with spelling

Spelling is a wild kingdom, but I like to play there.

A couple weeks ago, my friend Diana complained about something Oregon State University had sent 'round that contained a letter or report from a teacher talking about how a student's interest had been "peaked." In case you are one of the thousands who apparently don't know, if your interest has "peaked," it means it has reached its upper limit. The word this teacher really wanted is "piqued," meaning the student's interest had been awakened.

I recently saw someone on Facebook use "peek" instead of "pique." Yeah. If your interest is peeking, please stay away from my windows.

Peak, peek, and pique are homophones, words that have the same sound but different meanings. Other examples of homophones with which people torture the spelling-and-grammar-minded among us are: too, to, and two; their, they're, and there; and your, you're, and (less frequently) yore.

I'm the first to admit that homophones are a pain in the ass. But oy! Be more careful, folks.

Another interesting category of words is homonyms—words that have the same spelling but different meanings. These can be really puzzling. Take "spell" for example. How do you suppose that one word ended up meaning all of the following:

• a magical incantation,
• a deep influence (as in, "under a spell"),
• colloquially, a brief period of time (as in, "let's sit a spell"),
• to write or name the letters of a word, and
• to convey or bring about (as in, "that spells trouble").

At least with homonyms misspellings are less of an issue.

Speaking of misspelling, do note that second 's' in there. Misspell is a frequently misspelled word. Ah, the irony.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing with Less

I've been reading Marc Lesser's book Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less. I haven't finished it yet and can't offer a complete review. But one thing has resonated so strongly with me that I want to share it right away. He says:

[We can access] something deeper than the drive toward an outcome, which I call "Finding the One Who Is Not Busy." In other words, in the midst of activity, we can always find a calm and connected center. This phrase, by the way, is taken from a Zen teaching story from the seventh century, a time when Zen practice, and apparently busyness, was flourishing.

Finding the One who is not busy... Finding the Ronnie who is not busy...

He's exactly right: she is always in there. So is the Ronnie who is not stressed, or sad, or angry, or lonely. All I have to do is tune in to that calm, connected inner self. All I have to do is tap into my own quiet, my own certainly that I am doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and my own confidence in myself to handle what comes.

The how is the tricky part. I think meditation helps, though, if for no other reason than it slows me down and gives me time to look.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing with Dinosaurs

Frank brought home this gigantic library book. (Click to see the Amazon listing.)

It is quite eye-catching due to both its size (it covers a good third of our coffee table) and the gorgeous, photo-like illustration on the cover. Even so, it sat there untouched most of the day. Long about ten p.m., though, Chloe picked it up and started leafing through it. She began giving the dinosaurs clever, funny names, such as "WasInJurassicParkasaurus" for the compy, and "BadAssMohawkasaurus" for a dapper dino with a snazzy fringe on top.

Emma was staying over, so she was soon drawn into the game, adding her own names and laughing a lot. I pointed out that a few of their made-up descriptive names probably closely matched the meanings of the Latin-ish ones, and sure enough, Chloe started noticing that to be the case.

It was a happy, communal hour, and as such provides for a very nice moment in my imaginary Unschooling Highlights film.

1. When Frank brought the book home, he was strewing.
2. When the book sat there untouched, he and I both were refraining from being bothered by that. (Sometimes strewing "hits," sometimes it doesn't.)
3. When Chloe picked up the book, she made her very own personal use of it. (Sometimes strewing hits in unexpected ways.)
4. Fun and learning happened.

That's how it goes.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Accomplishment

Note: This post is still for NaBloPoMo, but I am temporarily abandoning the "play" theme because something else is on my mind today.

I believe people are free and able to determine for themselves when is the right time to accomplish something.

I believe people are free and able to determine for themselves what counts as accomplishment.

I believe people are free and able to determine for themselves how much accomplishment is enough—for the day, for the year, for the whole of their lives.

Enough said?

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing fast and loose with the Constitution

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment
of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof...
~ Excerpt from the First Amendment
to the Constitution of the United States

I am weary of the attempts of some Christians to circumvent the Constitution. I'm talking to you, Christine O'Donnell.

Try to follow my logic here:

• If certain principles are accepted as truth only by a particular religious group, they are tenets of that religion.
• If the government attempts to teach those tenets to the children of our country, the government is respecting that religion.

It's really very simple. If you want to argue about it, you either have a religious agenda or you enjoy a good semantic debate. The former is directly contrary to the separation of church and state that our founding fathers intended and that our courts have consistently upheld. The latter just doesn't interest me right now.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Photo play

Microsoft has a new commercial that shows a mom editing her family photo to wipe out every trace of their real selves. It ends with the tag line: "Windows gives me the family Nature never could."

Um, yeah. Why would I want that?

We had a family portrait done this summer. My cousin Cory Parris did the shoot. He's a terrific photographer, and we ended up with several lovely photos to choose from. Do you know the one I chose? It's the one where our formal pose has collapsed and we're all cracking up laughing. That is the family I love and enjoy and want to remember always.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing for keeps

Today is an international day of remembrance for people lost to suicide, particularly young people who killed themselves after being bullied or forcibly outed for their sexual orientation. Wear purple in their memory. Speak up against discrimination when you see it. Tell the kids in your life that you love them no matter what, and refrain from hate speech that might cause them to doubt that.

And if you have a kid who is being bullied in school, please consider bringing him or her home. Whatever compromises it requires—lifestyle, financial, social, familial—they are a small price to pay to help your child see that it can get better Right Now.

Some statistics from the It Gets Better Project:

• 9 out of 10 LGBT students have experienced harassment at school.
• LGBT teens are bullied 2 to 3 times as much as straight teens.
• More than 1/3 of LGBT kids have attempted to commit suicide.
• LGBT kids are 4 times as likely to attempt suicide then our straight peers.
• LGBT youth with “highly rejecting” families are 8 times more likely to attempt suicide than those whose families accept them.

The original It Gets Better video

The Trevor Project - Donate here!

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing in the past

This is a little video of women sharing what they would tell their younger selves if they could go back in time to just before their first baby was born. It's nice enough but left me unsatisfied. This is what I would tell my younger self:

• Relax. You have nothing to fear.
• Follow the principles of attachment parenting.
• Start learning now about unschooling, and get thee to an unschooling conference.
• Learn about the effects of parenting with shame. Don't do it.
• Make enjoying your babies your top priority.
• Laugh.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing to the crowd

We made the James photo blog in a big way. I am so happy to have this photographic reminder of a Very Fun night with some amazing people (both the band and my James buddies).

Here is Larry the guitar player's blog. He took the crowd photos from the stage. Shonna and I are on the right side of the Vancouver one, some of our peeps are in the Portland one, and all of us except Carolyn are in the Seattle one.

Here is the direct link to the Seattle photo on the James site. Click to enlarge.

And here is the Seattle photo, just in case the one on the site goes away. Click to enlarge. Photo credit goes to Larry Gott. Look for our "I'm As Big As I Can Dream" custom lyric t-shirts (courtesy of Mary).

Shonna is on the left (making a heart with her hands), then Jacinta and Robin with Renee behind. I'm next to Robin. Scan right, past the lady in the green shirt, to Mary and Diana, grinning madly, with Ginger behind, Donna next to Ginger, and Donna's daughter Hannah next to her. I don't see Hannah's husband, Craig, but maybe I'm missing him. Let me know if you spot him, James pals.

We got acquainted with many of the people in the first couple of rows. These are the die-hard fans, the ones who follow the band and pay extra money to get in early. Great group.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Play of the game

I'm bored with football. This might have something to do with the lackluster season the Seahawks are having and some weird coaching decisions they've made (trading Housh?! those challenges two weeks ago?!). It also might have something to do with my moodiness, which has coincided pretty distinctly with the football season. (Blame it on football? Sure, why not.)

Frank is not bored with football at all. He, um, encourages the players and coaches through the television screen and likes to spend most of Sunday with the NFL. Days when we get to watch the Saints and the Seahawks are especially good days.

Even he is quite content to do the watching from the livingroom rather than from the stadium. We've got our tickets to all of the Hawks' home games up for sale on the NFL Ticket Exchange. We're leaving it to Fate: if the tickets to a particular game don't sell, we'll go down to Qwest Field and shell out $20 for parking and cheer and listen to Blue Thunder and eat stadium food. So far, we haven't had the opportunity; our tickets have been selling nicely—we've made back almost half the cost of the season.

Play of the game: The arrival of a "Your Tickets Sold" email in my Inbox.

NaBloPoHalfMo: Playing movies

Okay, how about SCREENplay. I have movie reviews for "The Invention of Lying" and "Red."

***Spoilers may follow, so just quit reading now if you don't like spoilers.***

The Invention of Lying. I got this one from Netflix and watched it the other night. Ho hum. I have a couple of main complaints:

1. One of the messages seemed to be that we are supposed to look beneath a person's physical appearance to the personality beneath. Uh-huh. So, what exactly was Ricky Gervais' character supposed to have seen in Jennifer Garner's character other than a pretty face? She was fairly unpleasant really.

2. Ricky's conscience won't let him use his newfound ability to lie to trick strangers into having sex with him. I guess we're supposed to like him better for this. But his conscience is perfectly okay with bank robbery, defrauding his employer and the general public, enabling a friend to get away with driving while intoxicated, and subjecting all of society to religion. Yeah. He's a great guy.

In summary, unlikable characters in a ridiculously simplistic plotline. Don't bother.

P.S. I enjoyed Ricky Gervais' performance in "Ghost Town," but found him pretty boring in this one, despite his having given himself a couple of emotional scenes to work in. (He cowrote the screenplay.)

Red. Frank and I saw this for date night last night. LOVED IT. It's billed as an action/adventure/comedy, and that's just about right. The lovely cast appears to be having a fine time through much of the filming (Helen Mirren gets to fire a big-ass machine gun while wearing an evening gown - it is SO clear why she took this role), and the jokes and gags fly as fast and furious as the bullets. Who cares if some of the plot devices are a bit tired? It's just a fun, fun, fun couple of hours. Worth seeing on the big screen.

The pile-it-on strategy for coping with depression

I have let myself get behind at work. I have procrastinated and gotten behind schedule. I have flaked out for too long and now have some catching up to do.

However I say it, the bottom line is that I need to be a busy worker bee for the rest of my life next few weeks. Unfortunately, I have never felt less like being a busy worker bee, except maybe when I dropped out of college. Since dropping out of work is not an option, I need to get moving.

Strategy #1 for this is to clear the decks (clear ALL the decks?) and Focus On Work. This may yet be what I decide/need to do.

Strategy #2 is to pile a whole bunch more stuff on my plate in an effort to kick myself into that buzzy, adrenaline-fueled, extremely productive place I can sometimes get into (usually the week before a deadline). So, I am thinking about doing NaBloPoMo (NaBloPoHalfMo?) for the rest of October and then NaNoWriMo for all of November.

Insanity? Probably, but at least it would be a different sort of insanity than I have been experiencing recently.

The suggested theme for NaBloPoMo for October is "Play." That's probably not going to work. I mean, I'll try, but I am not in a terribly playful mood.

Play...

Life's unexpected little twists and turns

I blame unschooling. It's not rational, but I do it anyway. I know intellectually that life was as unpredictable in the time before unschooling as it is now, and I know intellectually that many of the things that surprise me in life are completely unrelated to unschooling. But damn! There sure seem to be a lot of them.

I guess I could instead blame teenagers. It's hardly original—people in our society blame teenagers for a lot—but it's handy. And doing that is at least somewhat grounded in reality, since my teenagers' idea of making a plan often involves a last-minute phone call.

But really, life just happens, with or without unschooling and with or without teenagers.

MJ has been home for oral surgery and ortho appointments. She went home today, which was supposed to mark the actual beginning of our trial empty nest phase. And it does, except that our trial is going to last all of three days. Chloe is coming home. Her host/boss has a family emergency that requires travel, so she isn't going to need Chloe for an indefinite time period.

We're happy to be getting Chloe back, of course, but something about these sudden changes of plans is just hard for me. Have they always been, or am I just weary right now? Who knows, except maybe my mom.

As for Chloe, she seems to be taking it in stride and is excitedly making new and different but typically nebulous, teenager-style plans for fun stuff to do once she's home.

And life goes on.

Gratitude tweets

Thursday, 9/23
Straightforward oral surgery for MJ; Kim, Alyse, Ginger (my #rawfood gurus); quiet afternoon; neighbor kids who mow; freedom. #gratitudelist

Friday, 9/24
A date with Chloe (who leaves tomorrow), MJ feels better, Sean is here, I don't have to get up early, Justin Long. #gratitudelist

Saturday, 9/25
Gorgeous fall day, a walk with Chloe, safe air travel for Chloe, equanimity, the library. #gratitudelist

Sunday, 9/26
Football Sunday, wins (even ugly ones), uneventful trips to Seattle on game day, Twitter fun, happy reports from Chloe. #gratitudelist

Monday, 9/27
Happy multistop grocery shopping, swimming with girls, quiet time alone, productive contemplation, #Castle. #gratitudelist

Tuesday, 9/28
Tired. Having trouble coming up with a #gratitudelist. How about this: There's always tomorrow.

Wednesday, 9/29
"This number has been disconnected," Chloe home for Xmas prob'ly, apricots & almonds, a bigger venue, spitting games w/Rudy. #gratitudelist

Friday, 10/1
Decent work day, sunshine, red leaves, being able to turn to Frank & MJ when I'm overwhelmed, texting with @someonenotchloe. #gratitudelist

Mindful tricks

...I noticed that if I put the word "meditation" after any activity,
it suddenly seemed much more high-minded and spiritual:
when waiting for the bus, I'd tell myself I was doing
"bus-waiting meditation"; in the slow line at the drugstore,
I was doing "waiting-in-line meditation."
~ Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

I tried this twice yesterday. It really works! The first time, I had just gotten into my car to head to work, and I was feeling extremely stressed and anxious, suffering the torn-in-two conflict with which I am often afflicted when I must work instead of spending time with the family (and often vice versa). I thought to myself, "commute meditation," and instantly the tension eased, and I knew I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

It worked last night, too. I've always been sensitive to caffeine, but since I began eating so much healthier last August, I really feel it. I now get the same buzz from a cup of half-caff that I used to get from a cup of regular. But some days I just want my coffee, and yesterday was one such day. Come bedtime, I was still wide awake. Frank and I chatted for a while (he is long accustomed to talking me down), and then I settled into my favorite sleeping position and lay there, eyes wide. "Insomnia meditation," I murmured, and Frank chuckled, and I relaxed and began to enjoy the time to think, and before long I was asleep.

A quick review of the book mentioned above: I am enjoying it very much. It's not so much that it contains anything startlingly new as that it pulls the research and advice into one place, all made accessible through glimpses into Gretchen's family and professional life. And the book provides focus and guidelines for reshaping one's life with happiness as a core goal. It's just what I need right now.