Who dat?

And shepherds we shall be,
For thee, my Lord, for thee.
Power hath descended forth from thy hand,
that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command.
We shall flow a river forth to thee,
And teeming with Colts shall it ever be.

Premise: using the wrong word will get you booted off the premises

Here's another pet peeve: using "premise" singular to mean a building or property. YUCK! Retail types do this all the time. "I want the shipment to be on premise by Tuesday." YUCK!

"Premise" singular is an idea, an argument, the foundation for a theory. If you're talking about the building or property, it MUST be plural "premises."

Speaking of pet peeves

10 Words You Need to Stop Misspelling

Commas!

Here are a couple of great reference pages about comma use.

Terribly Write's Top 5 Comma Errors
Purdue Online Writing Lab Extended Rules for Using Commas

My pet peeves recently—aside from (shoot me now) apostrophes in plurals—are commas between month and year when no date appears and commas between subject and verb.

Wrong: It is not January, 2010.
Right: Okay, it is January 2010, but only if you write it correctly.

Wrong: Being alone in your obsessions, can be aggravating.
Right: Being alone in your obsessions can be aggravating.

Things we're looking forward to

We're going to be busy, busy, busy in the next sixth months. But compared to last year? We're taking it easy!

1/23 — Heather's Non-non-con Birthday Potluck, featuring her special guest, The Coffee Goddess! Thank god, because (a) I shouldn't have to go a week without seeing other unschoolers, and (b) I'm almost out of coffee.

1/27 — "Meet Me in St. Louis" at the Village Theatre.

1/29 to 1/31 — Zenmomma's Non-Con and 50th Birthday Extravaganza, featuring The Greybeards! Sort of! (We have some talented guys standing in for beloved bandmates Alex, Jeff, and Marc, who couldn't make the trip up from California.)

1/31 to 2/7 or 2/8
- Chloe stays behind in Corvallis to hang out with the Golds. They'll bring her back to us eventually. I hope.
- A visit from Sean (17), except we probably won't get to see much of him because he and MJ will be dogsitting for Grandma.

2/26 — Naomi Aldort talk in Snohomish, and it looks like we might have a few (12?) unschooling houseguests that night who are traveling in to see her. Yay!

3/6 — Surprise birthday party for a friend who shall remain nameless even though I don't think this person reads my blog.

3/11 — Holy mother of god, Chloe turns 16.

3/24 — "Lost in Yonkers" at the Village Theatre.

4/1 to 4/4 — SakuraCon Anime Convention in downtown Seattle. I reserved a hotel room just in case we've won the lottery by then, but we'll probably commute.

4/24 or 4/25 — World Rhythm Festival at the Seattle Center.

4/27 — Frank's birthday.

5/15 or 5/16 — University of Washington Street Fair.

5/19 — "The Gypsy King" at the Village Theatre.

5/25 — My birthday.

5/26 to 6/1 — LIFE is Good 2010 (with extra days on either side for extra fun).

And in June, I get my teeth cleaned. Phew!

You know, once upon a time "taking it easy" meant something entirely different around here.

For Serenity

"Yes, I believe that we are light, and we shine infinitely."
— Amy Steinberg, "Exactly"

Haiti

I need more words than a Facebook status update provides to respond to this excerpt from a press release from CBN:

"His comments were based on the widely-discussed 1791 slave rebellion... where the slaves allegedly made a famous pact with the devil in exchange for victory over the French. This history, combined with the horrible state of the country, has led countless scholars and religious figures over the centuries to believe the country is cursed. Dr. Robertson never stated that the earthquake was God’s wrath."

First off, note that they admit that the pact is only alleged but then note that it is famous [so it must be true!]. But also note that Robertson used the words "true story" in his initial comments. He allowed no possibility that this story might be one INVENTED by the recordkeepers of the time.

But what really gets me is the disclaimer in the last line. I'm sorry, but if you believe that the people of Haiti are cursed, who else but God would have cursed them? It certainly wouldn't be the devil, since in this little fantasy they are his partners! So who else but God would (or could) have caused the earthquake?

But then again, why am I expecting logic here of all places? *bangs head against wall*

Here is Keith's scathing response to both Robertson's comments and Rush Limbaugh's latest racist crap:


To donate to the victims of this terrible NATURAL disaster, please text "HAITI" without quotes to 90999 (Red Cross, $10 added to your phone bill, 100% goes to charity) or 20222 (Clinton's charity, $5), or text "YELE" to 501501 ($5 to Wyclef Jean's org). I believe these numbers work in the US only.

...

This is a dummy line that is apparently required to get the comments link to show up.

Diversity in the unschooling community

I am having trouble getting the below comment (novella?) to post where it is supposed to be, so I am putting it here for safekeeping. I wrote it in response to Eli Gerzon's post Welcoming Diversity at Unschooling Conferences. My comment is supposed to be in the context of Eli's post, and I'm a little worried that taken alone it will seem a dismissal of the possibility of discrimination in the community. That is not my intent at all. Please also read Eli's post linked above and the other comments there.

Good topic! The issue of discrimination and/or elitism in the community comes up periodically on various message boards. What's interesting is that the people who feel excluded are a diverse group. I am in no way denying the existence of racism--people who suggest that our society is now colorblind are just, well, wrong, and either naive or downright stupid--but it seems there are always people who feel excluded at conferences, regardless of the color of their skin.

From what I can intuit, some of this has to do with their encounters with groups of people who (1) seem to already know each other, and (2) seem to be closed to newcomers. I firmly believe that the reality is not what it appears: those apparently close friendships might have been formed yesterday, and the people in them might actually be (probably are) completely open to forming more and more and more friendships.

Another part seems to be the expectation that one carries into the conference. Some people go in expecting to find high school-like cliques, so that's what they find. I suggest going into the conference expecting to find people who are *thrilled* to meet you. You will!

Also, remember that most people have their own little pockets of shyness or distraction. That woman who didn't smile back at you might be tracking down her kids for dinner, she might have a bad headache, or she might be in an overstimulation daze. The one who seems reluctant to talk to you might simply be intimidated by your awesomeness--and that is not a joke! One year at LIFE is Good I hesitated to talk to a woman because she had rockin' pink hair and seemed too cool for me. "I'm too boring for her," said the nasty little voice in my head, and I listened to it! It wasn't until months later that we became friends, and I realized what I had projected onto this perfectly nice, accepting, open lady.

As for race... Sometimes (maybe not in either of your examples) it's not discrimination but white guilt! I am sometimes so conscious of what minority groups have suffered that I am a bumbling idiot for the first few minutes after meeting a person of color. That I was not directly involved in the injustices doesn't seem to matter; my tongue is crippled anyway. And if those first few minutes are the *only* minutes of our acquaintance... Oy.

So, what's my point? I don't know. LOL. I guess it's just that understanding and awareness and reaching out might need to go both ways.

For LIFE is Good, Mary Gold has taken some distinct steps to try to make sure everyone feels welcomed and included. She and Colleen Paeff have set up a buddy program for newbies, and we're going to have some roving "ambassadors," people who are easily identifiable as folks to talk to if you're feeling alone. (There has been talk of neon-lighted bras, but I'm thinking crazy hats or something instead.) I think things like this can help a lot, with awareness and friendliness and patience taking us the rest of the way.

Robotics in Portland

Team 1432 is a robotics team that some of Frank's (many) cousins are involved with. They meet at the old auto shop at Franklin High weekdays after school hours and well into the evening, and on Sundays from 8 to 4. Please forward to any who might be interested.

Cousin Becky says:
"Alan and the boys mentor a robotics team (FRC team 1432). We are the only team in Portland that is open to anyone no matter who they are or where they live, or for that matter what their educational abilities or family situation is. We have had kids from off the street join the team and kids who just came because it was a safe place to be for a few hours. The point is we have something to offer everybody and we'd like to make sure people know we are here. Specifically we want to let homeschoolers know that they are welcome to join and be part of this. FIRST is offering $12 million in scholarships this year to students who have participated in the program. We don't charge any money to join and the kids get a chance to work with real engineers, design and build a robot and then they get to compete with 6,000 other teenagers and their robots."

Team Web site
Team Facebook page

Naomi in Snohomish

Naomi Aldort will be speaking in Snohomish at the end of February. Here are the details from the Facebook event.

An Evening with Naomi Aldort

Snohomish County Attachment Parenting (API) proudly hosts Naomi Aldort, PhD, author of “Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves.” Transform your parent-child relationship from struggle, to freedom, appreciation, and joy.

When: Friday, February 26, 2010
Cost: $10.00 per adult, $15.00 per couple at the door. Infants and non-separating children welcome. Refreshments included!
Time: 6:30 – 9:00 p.m. Silent Auction begins at 6:30, with Naomi to begin at 7:00, auction ends around 8:45. All proceeds from the auction go to Snohomish API.

Where: The Bridge Church of Snohomish County
2500 Lake Ave
Snohomish, WA 98290

Directions: Just south of the intersection of Highway 9 and US 2. From Highway 9, take 30th street/John Jump road. You will see King Charlies right on the corner. Go to the stop sign, and take a right on Lake Avenue. The Bridge is just down the street on the right, with a sign out front. If you take the entrance by the sign, you will get the parking lot in front of the church. Please be aware that Google Maps and Mapquest do not yet have the correct location for Lake Avenue and cannot direct you to the church.

Unconscious mutterings #363

To play along, go here.

1. Resolutions :: years


2. Page :: morning


3. Narrow :: strait


4. Refuse :: garbage


5. Fountain :: youth


6. Grunt :: groan


7. Construct :: building


8. Nightmare :: Elm Street


9. Inch :: NIN


10. Instant :: recognition

The cons of unschooling

My friend and grown unschooler Idzie has written a post about the downsides of unschooling. She didn't include some cons I would have listed, so those are here as an addendum to her list.

Note that not every family will experience all of these or the ones on Idzie's list. But they represent some distinct themes that we see in the unschooling forums.

You follow your child's lead
This is the core of unschooling, so even newbies are excited about it. But it doesn't take long before something comes up that causes the parents to have a moment of revelation about what it really means, which is you follow your child's lead. Even when you don't particularly like or have interest in where they are headed.

This is happening to me right now in a couple of areas. Most immediately, Chloe is awake even though I got up expecting quiet time alone, and she wants to chat even though I am bursting with ideas for a new blog post. (She is very sleepy, so her bids for my attention are infrequent and short-lived, which is why the post is getting written anyway).

Then there's the college prep. Both girls are suddenly--happily, voluntarily--caught up in all the You Must Be Good Enough rigmarole that is getting into college, and I very much dislike it. I find myself caught up in long involved fantasies of starting a real South Harmon Institute of Technology.

Multiple kids mean a lot of leads to follow
Being an unschooling parent is no walk in the park (unless your kids want to walk in the park). If you have more than one kid, get ready to juggle interests, energy levels, sociabilities, sensibilities, and schedules.

Schedules? We don't need no stinking schedules!
It is entirely possible in an unschooling household of, say, four people for there to exist four very different daily schedules, with each subject to change without notice and often at a time that is awkward due to prior commitments made. Parents of younger children may be able to arrange things to their liking, but not always. We regularly have parents with infants asking what to do when the four-year-old wants to stay up late while mom and baby sleep and isn't really ready for that much alone time.

In a household with older kids, the mixed schedules can really be pretty fun and work amazingly well, but not always. Idzie misses spending time with her nightowl sister. Chloe sleeps through the occasional family event.

Learning happens all the time
Again, this is a core value of unschooling. It's why unschooling works. But it ain't always easy to live by.

One of my favorite bits from one of my favorite books is this from Parenting a Free Child by Rue Kream:

The moon was out, and Rowan and Dagny started to talk about craters on the moon and how you can see them with a telescope, and gee, maybe we should look at them with our telescope? Jon jumped up and started walking towards the house, all the while muttering just loud enough for us to hear, "Damn this unschooling. Kids wanna see the moon, I gotta schlep out the telescope. Put 'em in school, and if they wanna see the moon you just tell 'em to wait 'til they cover it in science class. Stupid idea, keeping these kids home..."

Socialization
There, I admitted it! Socialization is a problem!

Okay, not really. What can be both a joy and a con of unschooling is that the time it takes to get someplace to visit like-minded friends must often be measured in hours instead of minutes. Bright side? We do a lot of traveling and have a lot of houseguests! Down side? We do a lot of traveling and have a lot of houseguests. And since each trip or visit requires prep and recovery time... Well, see below.

Your house is lived in
And I do mean lived in. What we have discovered is that keeping the house tidy when all of its residents go off each day for six to ten hours is MUCH easier than when some number of them are at home all day. Every day. Busily engaged in the business of learning and playing and living their lives.

Whatever your weaknesses as a parent, they will be revealed
I imagine parents whose kids are in school discover their weaknesses as parents, too. But when you are it for your kids, parent and partner and mentor and friend and confidant, you had better be a good it. Unschooling parents tend to do a lot of self-examination and a lot of work on improving their reactions and responsiveness to their kids. It is hard fricking work! The rewards are huge, of course, but it's not for the faint of heart.

A note about cons

I want to respond to something Idzie said in the preface to her list of cons. She said the downsides of unschooling aren't talked about much by unschoolers. I don't think that's entirely true. Every item on her list and mine is discussed regularly by unschoolers. We write about them and we talk about them. It's just that we tend to take them on one at a time, issue by issue, helping a specific parent with a specific instance. And every discussion includes lots of commentary on why we do what we do, and why we think it is so very much worth our time and commitment.

To read more about my personal whys, see some of my previous posts about unschooling.

Reading images

Check out the terrific collection of art and photos related to reading that my friend Steph has put together. Too fun!

http://sayitagainsammie.blogspot.com/2010/01/r-is-for-reading.html

Unconscious mutterings #362

Click here if you want to play.

1. 365 :: potential


2. Tombstone :: oops


3. Dumb :: brick


4. Intrusive :: opinions


5. Fat :: Cheney


6. Axe :: Lizzie


7. Planned :: babies


8. Spike :: Leevampire [it was a photo finish]


9. Bleach :: Naruto


10. Shopkeeper :: Roy

Hmm. Lotta names in that one.

Wheee!

I just got our family all registered and reserved for the breathtakingly amazing and wonderful LIFE is Good Unschooling Conference! Yay!

I am so excited about the other speakers this year. It's an amazing lineup! And we're doing the LIFE is Groovy Drum Circle again. And The Greybeards will be there to help everybody boogie. And Amy Steinberg, too! And MJ is putting on a Better Than Prom Extravaganza for the teens! And there will be funshops! And circle chats! And lots of wonderful friends to (re)discover!

Join us there!

NB: The Early Bird registration rate ends at the end of this month!

Home

I want to go home. That's what I say when times are tough. Away from stress is what I mean, from conflict and strife and imperfection. But it's not a place I've ever found. Instead, my home is joy.

It's a quiet evening after a busy week, spent reading my own blog and laughing with online friends even though a few hours ago I swore I was "socialled out."

It's a brilliant moment of connection over a spreadsheet, of all things, sharing formulas and optimism with Chloe—she of the healthy savings account who could teach her mother a thing or two about impulse control but perhaps has a few things to learn about being the bad guy.

It's a bottle of cheap champagne, opened perfectly by my laughing waitress, MJ, even though it's her first time to play sommelier. She joins me in a glass and then forgets all about the bottle left standing on the counter, our finest Cook's going flat as she simply lives her life, hardly knowing or caring that she is confounding the dire predictions of teen-phobic people everywhere.

It's talking small but vital details of Our Music with Frank, and the thrill of finding a new passion to share. After all these years!

It's two sisters happily tucked into the basement together, using up all their stolen video minutes and then figuring out what to do next, occassionally sending peals of laughter and a few strange noises floating up the stairs to entertain us.

It's even the damned Christmas tree, its lights shining merrily for one last night before I deal with it tomorrow.

And it is tomorrow, and the promise of another day of discovering the sweet small joys of home.

Word to your mother

In the past few days, my pal Cid has made mention of choosing her word for 2010. I was mildly interested but too busy to give it much thought. This morning, my word came to me. It's FLOW, as in "go with the." I chose it for many of the same reasons Cid chose her word, which you can see at her blog here.

Happy New Year, everybody!