Yes, he is real. Starting in April 2010, your kid can have her (or his) very own Sugar Daddy Ken to go with those anatomically optimistic Barbie dolls.
Happy Vagina Day?
5 hours ago
Friday, October 30, 2009
Gotta have it
Yes, he is real. Starting in April 2010, your kid can have her (or his) very own Sugar Daddy Ken to go with those anatomically optimistic Barbie dolls.
Friday fill-in
1. It was a dark and stormy night, but they didn't let that stop them.
2. She was swearing off romance novels, so I offered to take the books myself.
3. Rushing out, I noticed I was once again caught up in somebody else's schedule without regard to my own priorities, so I slooooowed down. And then I was late, and the world came to an end.
4. Are the Greybeards playing again?...I think I heard a howl!
5. Shhhh... The grownups are listening.
6. Put down the liver and give me something good to eat!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to our last NaNoWriMo-free evening for a while, tomorrow my plans include driving, writing, mooching, and perhaps some trick-or-treating, and Sunday, I want to be with good people in a good place!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Waste not
Some pretty sad sights in here. (Click Hide on the first image to get rid of the text, then click the arrow to the left of the image to move through the slide show.)
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/gallery/2009/jul/19/food-waste?picture=350496027
http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/gallery/2009/jul/19/food-waste?picture=350496027
Cruisin'
Well she got her daddy's car
And she cruised through the hamburger stand now
Seems she forgot all about the library
Like she told her old man now
And with the radio blastin'
Goes cruisin' just as fast as she can now
And she'll have fun, fun, fun
Til her daddy takes the... minivan?... away.
MJ passed her driving test today (on her first try!) and is now a licensed driver. She and Chloe are out rattin' the streets.
My inner control freak is, well, freaking out. Huh. So that's what this feels like.
And we may never recover from the insurance increase. :-)
But I'm very happy for her. Freedom! What a glorious thing!
And she cruised through the hamburger stand now
Seems she forgot all about the library
Like she told her old man now
And with the radio blastin'
Goes cruisin' just as fast as she can now
And she'll have fun, fun, fun
Til her daddy takes the... minivan?... away.
MJ passed her driving test today (on her first try!) and is now a licensed driver. She and Chloe are out rattin' the streets.
My inner control freak is, well, freaking out. Huh. So that's what this feels like.
And we may never recover from the insurance increase. :-)
But I'm very happy for her. Freedom! What a glorious thing!
Late night is all right
I love common sense. Here is an excerpt from M.S. Beltran's article in HEM, Homeschooled Teens Can Rest Easier.
I suppose the old "early to bed, early to rise" adage held true in days when people had to get a tremendous amount of work done when the daylight was available. But in this day and age, with electric lights and a host of other modern conveniences, we are no longer reliant upon the sun's appearance. Many families now have one or more parents working late shifts, with varying schedules; why in our sleep-deprived society should these parents sacrifice a couple of extra hours of much-needed rest in the morning to force children to rise at a more "proper" hour? Is it really beneficial to the child?
Not necessarily, science is showing. During puberty, the hormone melatonin that induces sleep is released by the body at a later hour than during the pre-pubescent years. Dr. William C. Dement writes in his book, The Promise of Sleep (Dell Publishing; ISBN: 0440509017): "...there is a change in the biological clock during the teen years. Adolescents tend to be classic night owls, staying up late and sleeping in late. This pattern is caused by a biologically driven shift in the circadian cycle that gives teens a troublesome kick in alertness at about the time the folks around them (younger and older) are getting sleepy and going to bed. Most teenagers will not start feeling sleepy for an hour or more after adults do." (p. 117) In essence, asking teens to go to bed and rise early as they once did naturally is asking them to fight their own changing biological clocks.
I suppose the old "early to bed, early to rise" adage held true in days when people had to get a tremendous amount of work done when the daylight was available. But in this day and age, with electric lights and a host of other modern conveniences, we are no longer reliant upon the sun's appearance. Many families now have one or more parents working late shifts, with varying schedules; why in our sleep-deprived society should these parents sacrifice a couple of extra hours of much-needed rest in the morning to force children to rise at a more "proper" hour? Is it really beneficial to the child?
Not necessarily, science is showing. During puberty, the hormone melatonin that induces sleep is released by the body at a later hour than during the pre-pubescent years. Dr. William C. Dement writes in his book, The Promise of Sleep (Dell Publishing; ISBN: 0440509017): "...there is a change in the biological clock during the teen years. Adolescents tend to be classic night owls, staying up late and sleeping in late. This pattern is caused by a biologically driven shift in the circadian cycle that gives teens a troublesome kick in alertness at about the time the folks around them (younger and older) are getting sleepy and going to bed. Most teenagers will not start feeling sleepy for an hour or more after adults do." (p. 117) In essence, asking teens to go to bed and rise early as they once did naturally is asking them to fight their own changing biological clocks.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
All grown up
This is my 1004th published post on this blog. I meant to notice when I hit 1000, but I blew right on past it. I don't think these milestones mean much more than that I like the sound of my own voice, but we'll tie it in with this post by declaring that my blog is officially a grownup! I'm sure that will be as meaningful here as that label is anywhere else.
I wasn't going to do the meme for grownups that is going around, but as so often happens, Frank has inspired me. Here are my responses.
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? Here's a list of questions for the people who are a little older. Copy and paste into your own note, then answer the questions. Finally, tag your friends (including me, please!). The usual thing, in other words.
If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged.
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Our credit card, which we use for convenience (especially for groceries and gas) and then pay off each month. I dislike paying this one for three reasons: it is our largest bill, it comes with the threat of significant late fees, and it is not automated. So far, these things haven't prompted me to switch to using the debit card, but that's always a possibility.
2. Do you miss being a child?
No.
3. Chore you hate the most?
Most chores are not as bad as I make them out to be when I'm avoiding them. However, I hate—HATE—cleaning pans in which bacon has been prepared. If Frank weren't willing to do this, we would only have bacon at IHOP.
4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
I'll just steal Frank's answer here: Romio's Restaurant, nice local Italian-ish place. Last nicer romantic dinner was Ruth's Chris.
5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I would attachment parent and radically unschool from the beginning of my kids' lives.
6. Name of your first grade teacher?
I don't know. I don't remember her at all. First grade was the school year after my folks split up, and I understand divorce is a common cause of a little amnesia in kids. Also, I was only at that school for one year, so her name wasn't reinforced in my memory in later years.
7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Figuring out how to cope with my big lottery win.
8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Writer. I toyed with being a lawyer, and I actually took some classes toward a degree in computer science, but writing was always the real dream.
9. How many colleges did you attend?
Two so far, Washington State University and the University of Washington.
10.Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
I'm still in my nightshirt. It's pretty old, so it's really soft and loose, and it has long sleeves. Cozy!
11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I don't expend much energy thinking about gas prices.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I woke up before my alarm this morning, so my first thought had to do with the coffee I drank yesterday that probably contributed to my restless night and early morning.
Frank said, "I think I heard Ronnie's alarm. I dunno why she sets one." I know! I know! I set one because I need to check e-mail first thing in the morning in order to check for new job listings from the agency.
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I wondered how long Frank was going to stay up.
14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Jon Stewart. President Obama.
Those are both people whose political philosophies are very close to my own. I like to think I could nudge them a little closer.
15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I've dented my vehicle, and my vehicle has been crashed into. Oh, yeah, one time I did the crashing but it was still the other guy's fault. He pulled out in front of me and then stopped. At a green light. I actually discovered the one situation where you can rear-end someone and not get a ticket for it.
16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Not so far, or rather, not any more than I do when I am working. Most of my efforts toward improving the world involve writing checks and spreading the word on the Interwebs. I devote a fair amount of time to promoting unschooling; I think it's one of the very best things I can do for humanity.
17. Get up early or sleep in?
Whatever. I am not fond of early wakeups, but my day has 24 hours in it no matter what.
18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
I always liked the roadrunner.
19. Favorite thing to do at night?
Read. It's probably my favorite thing to do during the day, too. :-)
20. When did you first start feeling old?
I don't feel old.
21. Favorite lunch meat?
I loved Frank's oyster answer. My favorite sandwich at Subway is the Subway Club.
22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
A headache! Ba-doom.
I haven't been in a Wal-Mart in years. Change that to "the grocery store" and my answer is "milk." Change it to "Target" and my answer is "something more than was on my list."
23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I don't think it's necessary—commitment to a partner is not dependent on (or guaranteed by) marriage—but I certainly don't think it's outdated.
24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
If I actually had one of these, I would refuse to answer this question, but I'll play along.
I have a soft spot for "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" with Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees. Pure, glorious, spangled cheese!
I discovered recently that some people actually hate "Weekend at Bernie's." This is inconceivable to me. I love that movie. Terry Kiser should have had an Oscar for his performance as Bernie. Oh! And I should have included Bernie's frozen smirk in my list of memorable movie smiles.
25. What's your favorite drink?
Varies by situation. For breakfast, orange juice. For thirst, water. For a pick-me-up, a caramel macchiato. For taking the edge off, a Mike's Hard Lemonade or a strawberry margarita.
26. Who from high school would you like to run into?
I'd like to know what Colleen Campbell is doing. Paging Dr. Campbell!
27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't often get to control the radio. When I do, it goes to KZOK for some classic rock. When the commercials come on, I drift until I find a song I like.
28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Neither. I don't like soap operas any more.
29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Frank knows.
30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
N/A.
31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
No.
32. Last book you finished reading?
I think it was "Black Hills" by Nora Roberts. It was pretty good, not her best.
33. Do you have a teddy bear?
I suppose technically my teddy bear belongs to MJ now. But I do have three little lions and a cuddly bat. They are very popular with my younger visitors.
34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
On a boat!
35. Do you go to church?
For weddings and funerals.
36. How old are you?
44.
I wasn't going to do the meme for grownups that is going around, but as so often happens, Frank has inspired me. Here are my responses.
Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? Here's a list of questions for the people who are a little older. Copy and paste into your own note, then answer the questions. Finally, tag your friends (including me, please!). The usual thing, in other words.
If you're reading this, consider yourself tagged.
1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
Our credit card, which we use for convenience (especially for groceries and gas) and then pay off each month. I dislike paying this one for three reasons: it is our largest bill, it comes with the threat of significant late fees, and it is not automated. So far, these things haven't prompted me to switch to using the debit card, but that's always a possibility.
2. Do you miss being a child?
No.
3. Chore you hate the most?
Most chores are not as bad as I make them out to be when I'm avoiding them. However, I hate—HATE—cleaning pans in which bacon has been prepared. If Frank weren't willing to do this, we would only have bacon at IHOP.
4. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
I'll just steal Frank's answer here: Romio's Restaurant, nice local Italian-ish place. Last nicer romantic dinner was Ruth's Chris.
5. If you could go back and change one thing what would it be?
I would attachment parent and radically unschool from the beginning of my kids' lives.
6. Name of your first grade teacher?
I don't know. I don't remember her at all. First grade was the school year after my folks split up, and I understand divorce is a common cause of a little amnesia in kids. Also, I was only at that school for one year, so her name wasn't reinforced in my memory in later years.
7. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Figuring out how to cope with my big lottery win.
8. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Writer. I toyed with being a lawyer, and I actually took some classes toward a degree in computer science, but writing was always the real dream.
9. How many colleges did you attend?
Two so far, Washington State University and the University of Washington.
10.Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
I'm still in my nightshirt. It's pretty old, so it's really soft and loose, and it has long sleeves. Cozy!
11. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
I don't expend much energy thinking about gas prices.
12. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I woke up before my alarm this morning, so my first thought had to do with the coffee I drank yesterday that probably contributed to my restless night and early morning.
Frank said, "I think I heard Ronnie's alarm. I dunno why she sets one." I know! I know! I set one because I need to check e-mail first thing in the morning in order to check for new job listings from the agency.
13. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
I wondered how long Frank was going to stay up.
14. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Jon Stewart. President Obama.
Those are both people whose political philosophies are very close to my own. I like to think I could nudge them a little closer.
15. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
I've dented my vehicle, and my vehicle has been crashed into. Oh, yeah, one time I did the crashing but it was still the other guy's fault. He pulled out in front of me and then stopped. At a green light. I actually discovered the one situation where you can rear-end someone and not get a ticket for it.
16. If you didn't have to work, would you volunteer?
Not so far, or rather, not any more than I do when I am working. Most of my efforts toward improving the world involve writing checks and spreading the word on the Interwebs. I devote a fair amount of time to promoting unschooling; I think it's one of the very best things I can do for humanity.
17. Get up early or sleep in?
Whatever. I am not fond of early wakeups, but my day has 24 hours in it no matter what.
18. What is your favorite cartoon character?
I always liked the roadrunner.
19. Favorite thing to do at night?
Read. It's probably my favorite thing to do during the day, too. :-)
20. When did you first start feeling old?
I don't feel old.
21. Favorite lunch meat?
I loved Frank's oyster answer. My favorite sandwich at Subway is the Subway Club.
22. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
A headache! Ba-doom.
I haven't been in a Wal-Mart in years. Change that to "the grocery store" and my answer is "milk." Change it to "Target" and my answer is "something more than was on my list."
23. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
I don't think it's necessary—commitment to a partner is not dependent on (or guaranteed by) marriage—but I certainly don't think it's outdated.
24. Favorite movie you wouldn't want anyone to find out about?
If I actually had one of these, I would refuse to answer this question, but I'll play along.
I have a soft spot for "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" with Peter Frampton and the Bee Gees. Pure, glorious, spangled cheese!
I discovered recently that some people actually hate "Weekend at Bernie's." This is inconceivable to me. I love that movie. Terry Kiser should have had an Oscar for his performance as Bernie. Oh! And I should have included Bernie's frozen smirk in my list of memorable movie smiles.
25. What's your favorite drink?
Varies by situation. For breakfast, orange juice. For thirst, water. For a pick-me-up, a caramel macchiato. For taking the edge off, a Mike's Hard Lemonade or a strawberry margarita.
26. Who from high school would you like to run into?
I'd like to know what Colleen Campbell is doing. Paging Dr. Campbell!
27. What radio station is your car radio tuned to right now?
I don't often get to control the radio. When I do, it goes to KZOK for some classic rock. When the commercials come on, I drift until I find a song I like.
28. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
Neither. I don't like soap operas any more.
29. Worst relationship mistake that you wish you could take back?
Frank knows.
30. Do you like the person that sits directly across from you at work?
N/A.
31. Have you ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purposes?
No.
32. Last book you finished reading?
I think it was "Black Hills" by Nora Roberts. It was pretty good, not her best.
33. Do you have a teddy bear?
I suppose technically my teddy bear belongs to MJ now. But I do have three little lions and a cuddly bat. They are very popular with my younger visitors.
34. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
On a boat!
35. Do you go to church?
For weddings and funerals.
36. How old are you?
44.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday system check
- What I'm reading: Sandra Dodd's Big Book of Unschooling
- What I'm listening to: AC/DC "Hell's Bells," "Back in Black," and "You Shook Me All Night Long"
- What I'm watching: Sunday Night Football, Cards vs. Giants
- What's for dinner: pork chops, mashed potatoes, veggies
Schrödinger's rapist
In an open letter to nice guys everywhere, Phaedra Starling writes:
"So when you, a stranger, approach me, I have to ask myself: Will this man rape me?
"Do you think I’m overreacting? One in every six American women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. I bet you don’t think you know any rapists... Consider: if every rapist commits an average of ten rapes (a horrifying number, isn’t it?) then the concentration of rapists in the population is still a little over one in sixty... How do I know that you, the nice guy who wants nothing more than companionship and True Love, are not this rapist?
"I don’t.
"When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger’s Rapist...
"Fortunately, you’re a good guy. We’ve already established that. Now that you’re aware that there’s a problem, you are going to go out of your way to fix it, and to make the women with whom you interact feel as safe as possible."
She continues with five things nice guys can do to help. Read her whole post.
"So when you, a stranger, approach me, I have to ask myself: Will this man rape me?
"Do you think I’m overreacting? One in every six American women will be sexually assaulted in her lifetime. I bet you don’t think you know any rapists... Consider: if every rapist commits an average of ten rapes (a horrifying number, isn’t it?) then the concentration of rapists in the population is still a little over one in sixty... How do I know that you, the nice guy who wants nothing more than companionship and True Love, are not this rapist?
"I don’t.
"When you approach me in public, you are Schrödinger’s Rapist...
"Fortunately, you’re a good guy. We’ve already established that. Now that you’re aware that there’s a problem, you are going to go out of your way to fix it, and to make the women with whom you interact feel as safe as possible."
She continues with five things nice guys can do to help. Read her whole post.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Health care for all
"Because in one party, in one demographic, in one protest movement, we are all brothers and sisters. We are united in membership in the party that insists that every chance at life be afforded to every American seeking that chance.
"We are united in membership in the party that insists on the right of everyone to the startling, transcendent blessings of the technological advance of medical science. We are united in membership in the party that is for life, that is against death, that is for lower premiums, that is against higher deductibles, that is for the peace of mind that can be provided only by the elimination of the fear that cost will decide whether we live or we die!
"Because that's the point, isn't it? It is hard enough to recover, to fight past pain and to stave off death, if just for a season or a week or a day. It is so hard, that eventually for you, for me, for this president, for these blue dogs, for these protestors it is so hard to recover, that for all of us there will come a time when we will not recover. So, why are we making it harder?"
Keith Olbermann, "Countdown" 10/7/09 segment 5 of 5
"We are united in membership in the party that insists on the right of everyone to the startling, transcendent blessings of the technological advance of medical science. We are united in membership in the party that is for life, that is against death, that is for lower premiums, that is against higher deductibles, that is for the peace of mind that can be provided only by the elimination of the fear that cost will decide whether we live or we die!
"Because that's the point, isn't it? It is hard enough to recover, to fight past pain and to stave off death, if just for a season or a week or a day. It is so hard, that eventually for you, for me, for this president, for these blue dogs, for these protestors it is so hard to recover, that for all of us there will come a time when we will not recover. So, why are we making it harder?"
Keith Olbermann, "Countdown" 10/7/09 segment 5 of 5
Friday fill-in
1. The crickets sing but not in Washington.
2. I love you, sunshine, wherever you are.
3. I want to get far away from the people who are mean to their kids (and take their kids with me).
4. Pigs can't fly; this was a dream.
5. But as for me, I'll trust my kids.
6. What I come from is only a fraction of what I am.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to Sharona on Monk and the premiere of White Collar, tomorrow my plans include a full day of fun, and Sunday, I want to enjoy Sunday!
Chloe's WABAC machine
Chloe just found the diary she kept during her final months in school before we started homeschooling. She says she devoted five pages to complaining about my insistence on her going to school one day in October even though she was sick. Three months later, we were unschooling.
This is why I don't plan too far ahead.
This is why I don't plan too far ahead.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Chit chat
After a long Twitter-free spell, I have been tweeting again the past couple of days. My desire to communicate minutiae seems to come in waves, and for whatever reason (etiquette?), I do not wish to use Facebook for these tweetish communications. (My status updates on FB tend to be about chunks of time—e.g., "Ronnie Maier has her kids back!!"—rather than random moments here and there—e.g., "I am trimming my toenails.")
But what do I do when my desire to blab details exceeds my tweet tolerance level? I write a megatweet blog post, obviously. It probably makes for pretty boring stuff, but I suppose Blogging Without Obligation means I'm not obliged to be especially interesting.
I read "The Five Languages of Love" tonight. I first heard about this book from Beth Fuller and have been enjoying a broader appreciation of all Frank does for me since then. It's been lovely to take every clean dish as an "I love you." You know? But now Frank and I have both figured out our official Love Language profiles, and it turns out that "Acts of Service" isn't his love language any more than it is mine. Oh, well, I still appreciate those clean dishes.
Interestingly, Frank and I scored almost identically for our profiles, with "Physical Touch" and "Quality Time" tied for the top position. Gary Chapman, the author, says partners don't necessarily enjoy such fluency in each other's love language, so this might be a contributing factor to why Frank and I get on so well. It also seems possible that one of us started out with one of those as primary and the other with the other, but that after more than two decades of adjusting to each other's needs, our priorities have been adapted.
The other two languages are "Affirmations" and "Receiving Gifts."
Chloe and I went to the library this evening and each brought home huge armloads of books. Hers are mostly about getting into college, something that is very much on both girls' minds right now. Mine are mostly about geology, just because.
I missed House and Castle last night. (Monday is "guys named after buildings" night on TV.)
Our house still smells like bacon, 14 hours after breakfast.
After a surprisingly pleasant couple of days, the damp is rolling in again. MJ has been hogging the "We're season ticketholders and don't you forget it even if we might want to after that game against the Cardinals" Seahawks throw blanket, so I'm sitting here wrapped in the dragonfly-dotted fleece blanket I won in the LIFE is Good silent auction last May. Cozy! All in all, though, I'd rather be in Arizona with Uncle Scott. (But I still wouldn't root for the Cards.)
If I'm still not working in November, I'm thinking about doing NaNoWriMo. But I might settle for NaBloPoMo. Both girls are also contemplating NNWM, so we may find ourselves entering into some serious computer negotiations. Anybody got a laptop we can borrow for a month? If not, I'll have to encourage Chloe to resume her nightowl thing. ;-)
Not being that much of a nightowl myself, I'm done now. Good night!
But what do I do when my desire to blab details exceeds my tweet tolerance level? I write a megatweet blog post, obviously. It probably makes for pretty boring stuff, but I suppose Blogging Without Obligation means I'm not obliged to be especially interesting.
I read "The Five Languages of Love" tonight. I first heard about this book from Beth Fuller and have been enjoying a broader appreciation of all Frank does for me since then. It's been lovely to take every clean dish as an "I love you." You know? But now Frank and I have both figured out our official Love Language profiles, and it turns out that "Acts of Service" isn't his love language any more than it is mine. Oh, well, I still appreciate those clean dishes.
Interestingly, Frank and I scored almost identically for our profiles, with "Physical Touch" and "Quality Time" tied for the top position. Gary Chapman, the author, says partners don't necessarily enjoy such fluency in each other's love language, so this might be a contributing factor to why Frank and I get on so well. It also seems possible that one of us started out with one of those as primary and the other with the other, but that after more than two decades of adjusting to each other's needs, our priorities have been adapted.
The other two languages are "Affirmations" and "Receiving Gifts."
Chloe and I went to the library this evening and each brought home huge armloads of books. Hers are mostly about getting into college, something that is very much on both girls' minds right now. Mine are mostly about geology, just because.
I missed House and Castle last night. (Monday is "guys named after buildings" night on TV.)
Our house still smells like bacon, 14 hours after breakfast.
After a surprisingly pleasant couple of days, the damp is rolling in again. MJ has been hogging the "We're season ticketholders and don't you forget it even if we might want to after that game against the Cardinals" Seahawks throw blanket, so I'm sitting here wrapped in the dragonfly-dotted fleece blanket I won in the LIFE is Good silent auction last May. Cozy! All in all, though, I'd rather be in Arizona with Uncle Scott. (But I still wouldn't root for the Cards.)
If I'm still not working in November, I'm thinking about doing NaNoWriMo. But I might settle for NaBloPoMo. Both girls are also contemplating NNWM, so we may find ourselves entering into some serious computer negotiations. Anybody got a laptop we can borrow for a month? If not, I'll have to encourage Chloe to resume her nightowl thing. ;-)
Not being that much of a nightowl myself, I'm done now. Good night!
Monday, October 19, 2009
You're free to go, but put down the candy bar
So, Jessica has sailed off from Sydney on her circumnavigation attempt. I can imagine the clutch of fear her parents felt watching her go, and I give them props for letting her go anyway. But it's hard to reconcile that feat of courageous parenting with this note from Jessica's blog:
"For a while again this afternoon we were completely becalmed... It's been so long since I've had any time just to take it easy for a while and the freedom was amazing, no deadlines, nothing to rush off to, I can eat whatever I like whenever I like, no one to send me off to bed!"
(emphasis mine)
I can't imagine trusting my kid enough to SAIL AROUND THE WORLD without assistance but not trusting her enough to choose her own food and bedtime. Oy.
"For a while again this afternoon we were completely becalmed... It's been so long since I've had any time just to take it easy for a while and the freedom was amazing, no deadlines, nothing to rush off to, I can eat whatever I like whenever I like, no one to send me off to bed!"
(emphasis mine)
I can't imagine trusting my kid enough to SAIL AROUND THE WORLD without assistance but not trusting her enough to choose her own food and bedtime. Oy.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Coping with traditional parenting
Pulling this out of one of my Good Vibrations posts so I can link to it directly.
Strangers in a Strange Land chat. Shonna and I hosted this circle chat yesterday. We went in hoping to encourage and benefit from some brainstorming about how to help other people's kids when we see them being victimized by harsh parenting. I think it went pretty well. Here are the tools we discussed. Which of these is the best to pull out in any given situation will depend on the situation and your resources at the moment.
Click here to see the second edition of "Coping with traditional parenting."
Also see Transitioning from the traditional - tips for moving toward more peaceful parenting.
Strangers in a Strange Land chat. Shonna and I hosted this circle chat yesterday. We went in hoping to encourage and benefit from some brainstorming about how to help other people's kids when we see them being victimized by harsh parenting. I think it went pretty well. Here are the tools we discussed. Which of these is the best to pull out in any given situation will depend on the situation and your resources at the moment.
- Empathize with the parent. We've all been there in that overwhelmed moment, and we all know snapshot moments do not necessarily reflect the whole of the parent-child relationship. Also, those of us (yours truly) who started out as traditional parents can (should be able to) empathize more than most.
- Validate the child's experience. A small verbal expression of your understanding of the child's perspective can provide a lot of comfort to the child, and it just might help the parent make a shift, too. For example, suppose you see a child in a store crying because he's been denied candy or a toy. You can say, "It's hard to see all these cool things and not be able to take them home, isn't it?"
- Say "I've been there. Here are some resources that have helped me a lot," and then hand over a card that lists a few of your favorite parenting Web sites. This one lets you immediately withdraw from the situation; the parent doesn't have/get to respond.
- Say (even if it's not true), "You know, the exact same thing happened with us. Here's what worked for us..." and then describe the parenting that you wish you were seeing.
- Interject with a little comment that might jolt the parent into taking a breath. My example was Count to a million, Mom.
Click here to see the second edition of "Coping with traditional parenting."
Also see Transitioning from the traditional - tips for moving toward more peaceful parenting.
The Doings Report
We're finishing up our quiet, empty-nest week. We barely did anything, a true vacation. It's been lovely.
Thursday evening, I helped out at a special event at Belle Provence, a lovely Mill Creek gift store run by some friends. I enjoy these occasional forays into retail, but boy, did I have sore feet by the end of it. Gotta get some dressy flats!
Friday night, Frank and I went out for dinner together at Romio's. I do like going there, it's such a neighborhood joint despite being part of a chain. I've run into my doctor there previously, and Friday we saw a couple of teachers from Whittier Elementary, the girls' old stomping grounds. And Costa, the manager, greets us as if we're regulars. Plus, the food is yummy. I had GASP pizza (garlic, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, and pesto), and Frank had chicken fettucini.
Frank has a cold, so I went down and sold our Seahawks tickets. What a good decision! Terrible, terrible game. Frank and I are watching from the comfort of our livingroom and have some cash to show for it. I feel sort of bad for the dad and lad who bought our tickets, though.
The girls finished up their week on the South Carolina beach yesterday and are now back in Gainesville, Georgia. They have been having a really, really good time.
We do our reverse-airport-run tomorrow. We'll drop off the Zen car at the hotel where the Golds are spending Monday night, visit with them for a while, pick up MJ and Chloe, and pick up the Mayers. I'm looking forward to it!
Thursday evening, I helped out at a special event at Belle Provence, a lovely Mill Creek gift store run by some friends. I enjoy these occasional forays into retail, but boy, did I have sore feet by the end of it. Gotta get some dressy flats!
Friday night, Frank and I went out for dinner together at Romio's. I do like going there, it's such a neighborhood joint despite being part of a chain. I've run into my doctor there previously, and Friday we saw a couple of teachers from Whittier Elementary, the girls' old stomping grounds. And Costa, the manager, greets us as if we're regulars. Plus, the food is yummy. I had GASP pizza (garlic, artichoke hearts, sun-dried tomatoes, and pesto), and Frank had chicken fettucini.
Frank has a cold, so I went down and sold our Seahawks tickets. What a good decision! Terrible, terrible game. Frank and I are watching from the comfort of our livingroom and have some cash to show for it. I feel sort of bad for the dad and lad who bought our tickets, though.
The girls finished up their week on the South Carolina beach yesterday and are now back in Gainesville, Georgia. They have been having a really, really good time.
We do our reverse-airport-run tomorrow. We'll drop off the Zen car at the hotel where the Golds are spending Monday night, visit with them for a while, pick up MJ and Chloe, and pick up the Mayers. I'm looking forward to it!
Friday, October 16, 2009
A vote for families
We received our ballots today for the general election on November 3, so this seems like a good time to share with my Washington readers my intention to vote to approve Referendum 71 and my deep hope that you will, too. This referendum will continue the domestic partnership law previously approved by our state legislature. It provides equal protection to all families so partners and their children can be covered by the health insurance policy of the head of household, so family members can visit each other in the hospital, so partners can take family leave to care for their sick partners or children, and so loving parents can adopt children in need.
In the case of my dear cousins Randi and Kauleen, it will enable Kauleen to adopt her own son!
Let me repeat that: If this is returned into law, Kauleen can adopt her own son. I must say, I find it outrageous that anyone could have a problem with that.
Please, join me in removing this obstacle to the health and security of our friends, neighbors, and family members.
Why Vote to Approve R-71
Friday fill-in
1. So, Frank, are we going out to dinner tonight or what?
2. A new adventure is what's up ahead.
3. I love to do too many things to list them all here.
4. I suppose Glenn Beck is a human... of some sort.
5. I walk a happy path.
6. Joy is the true elixir of life! Drink up!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to a date with Frank and then some time with Shawn and Gus, tomorrow my plans include doing as little as possible, and Sunday, I want to help the Seahaws beat the Cardinals—oh crud, I used the wrong color for this FF—and prep the house for the Monday return of girls and Mayers!
Complaint-free Friday
This is an interesting idea.
From the Kindness Center:
Today is "Complaint Free Friday." To participate you will need a piece of paper, a pen and self-awareness. If you catch yourself complaining or speaking unkind words (about yourself, others, or the world), please write down three things you are grateful for. This simple technique is a powerful way to generate positive energy and an attitude of gratitude.
From the Kindness Center:
Today is "Complaint Free Friday." To participate you will need a piece of paper, a pen and self-awareness. If you catch yourself complaining or speaking unkind words (about yourself, others, or the world), please write down three things you are grateful for. This simple technique is a powerful way to generate positive energy and an attitude of gratitude.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
I'm a labeler
Way down in the sidebar is a section called "Labels" which I have just updated to better reflect the labels I have used on my blog posts over the years. Labels also appear at the bottom of most of my blog posts (for example, the blognews label at the bottom of this post). Click a label to see a collection of related writings.
A note to any current or former indexers reading this: Feel free to let me know if you find a post that is missing a likely label. Thanks!
A note to any current or former indexers reading this: Feel free to let me know if you find a post that is missing a likely label. Thanks!
Doing it Mongolian style
Click here for a lovely, funny, enlightening article about a Canadian woman's breastfeeding journey in Mongolia.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
You better think
Excerpts from Does the Vaccine Matter?, an excellent exploration of the efficacy of our current pandemic preparations, from the new issue of The Atlantic:
"When Lisa Jackson, a physician and senior investigator with the Group Health Research Center, in Seattle, began wondering aloud to colleagues if maybe something was amiss with the estimate of 50 percent mortality reduction for people who get flu vaccine, the [opposition] she got sounded more like doctrine than science... [In] 2004, Jackson and three colleagues set out to determine whether the mortality difference between the vaccinated and the unvaccinated might be caused by a phenomenon known as the 'healthy user effect.' ... Jackson’s findings showed that outside of flu season, the baseline risk of death among people who did not get vaccinated was approximately 60 percent higher than among those who did, lending support to the hypothesis that on average, healthy people chose to get the vaccine, while the 'frail elderly' didn’t or couldn’t. In fact, the healthy-user effect explained the entire benefit that other researchers were attributing to flu vaccine, suggesting that the vaccine itself might not reduce mortality at all."
"The history of flu vaccination suggests other reasons to doubt claims that it dramatically reduces mortality. In 2004, for example, vaccine production fell behind, causing a 40 percent drop in immunization rates. Yet mortality did not rise. In addition, vaccine 'mismatches' occurred in 1968 and 1997: in both years, the vaccine that had been produced in the summer protected against one set of viruses, but come winter, a different set was circulating. In effect, nobody was vaccinated. Yet death rates from all causes, including flu and the various illnesses it can exacerbate, did not budge."
"Unfortunately, the very people who most need protection from the flu also have immune systems that are least likely to respond to vaccine. Studies show that young, healthy people mount a glorious immune response to seasonal flu vaccine, and their response reduces their chances of getting the flu and may lessen the severity of symptoms if they do get it. But they aren’t the people who die from seasonal flu. By contrast, the elderly, particularly those over age 70, don’t have a good immune response to vaccine—and they’re the ones who account for most flu deaths."
"This is the curious state of debate about the government’s two main weapons [flu vaccines and anti-viral drugs] in the fight against pandemic flu. At first, government officials declare that both vaccines and drugs are effective. When faced with contrary evidence, the adherents acknowledge that the science is not as crisp as they might wish. Then, in response to calls for placebo-controlled trials, which would provide clear results one way or the other, the proponents say such studies would deprive patients of vaccines and drugs that have already been deemed effective."
"In the U.S., by contrast, our reliance on vaccination may have the opposite effect: breeding feelings of invulnerability, and leading some people to ignore simple measures like better-than-normal hygiene, staying away from those who are sick, and staying home when they feel ill. Likewise, our encouragement of early treatment with antiviral drugs will likely lead many people to show up at the hospital at first sniffle. 'There’s no worse place to go than the hospital during flu season,' says [flu researcher Sumit] Majumdar. Those who don’t have the flu are more likely to catch it there, and those who do will spread it around, he says."
"When Lisa Jackson, a physician and senior investigator with the Group Health Research Center, in Seattle, began wondering aloud to colleagues if maybe something was amiss with the estimate of 50 percent mortality reduction for people who get flu vaccine, the [opposition] she got sounded more like doctrine than science... [In] 2004, Jackson and three colleagues set out to determine whether the mortality difference between the vaccinated and the unvaccinated might be caused by a phenomenon known as the 'healthy user effect.' ... Jackson’s findings showed that outside of flu season, the baseline risk of death among people who did not get vaccinated was approximately 60 percent higher than among those who did, lending support to the hypothesis that on average, healthy people chose to get the vaccine, while the 'frail elderly' didn’t or couldn’t. In fact, the healthy-user effect explained the entire benefit that other researchers were attributing to flu vaccine, suggesting that the vaccine itself might not reduce mortality at all."
"The history of flu vaccination suggests other reasons to doubt claims that it dramatically reduces mortality. In 2004, for example, vaccine production fell behind, causing a 40 percent drop in immunization rates. Yet mortality did not rise. In addition, vaccine 'mismatches' occurred in 1968 and 1997: in both years, the vaccine that had been produced in the summer protected against one set of viruses, but come winter, a different set was circulating. In effect, nobody was vaccinated. Yet death rates from all causes, including flu and the various illnesses it can exacerbate, did not budge."
"Unfortunately, the very people who most need protection from the flu also have immune systems that are least likely to respond to vaccine. Studies show that young, healthy people mount a glorious immune response to seasonal flu vaccine, and their response reduces their chances of getting the flu and may lessen the severity of symptoms if they do get it. But they aren’t the people who die from seasonal flu. By contrast, the elderly, particularly those over age 70, don’t have a good immune response to vaccine—and they’re the ones who account for most flu deaths."
"This is the curious state of debate about the government’s two main weapons [flu vaccines and anti-viral drugs] in the fight against pandemic flu. At first, government officials declare that both vaccines and drugs are effective. When faced with contrary evidence, the adherents acknowledge that the science is not as crisp as they might wish. Then, in response to calls for placebo-controlled trials, which would provide clear results one way or the other, the proponents say such studies would deprive patients of vaccines and drugs that have already been deemed effective."
"In the U.S., by contrast, our reliance on vaccination may have the opposite effect: breeding feelings of invulnerability, and leading some people to ignore simple measures like better-than-normal hygiene, staying away from those who are sick, and staying home when they feel ill. Likewise, our encouragement of early treatment with antiviral drugs will likely lead many people to show up at the hospital at first sniffle. 'There’s no worse place to go than the hospital during flu season,' says [flu researcher Sumit] Majumdar. Those who don’t have the flu are more likely to catch it there, and those who do will spread it around, he says."
Go ahead
I discovered a new Web site from the people who brought you LOL Cats and the Fail Blog. It's called It Made My Day (IMMD).
Two fun samples:
Me and my 9 year old cousin were watching old footage of John and Yoko performing today. During Yoko’s singing she turned to me and asked ‘What’s wrong with that guy?’ IMMD.
I was eating a donut with a friend’s 15 month old daughter. She asked what the hole was for and I asked “What do you think?” she said ” That’s where you put the bacon”. IMMD
Two fun samples:
Me and my 9 year old cousin were watching old footage of John and Yoko performing today. During Yoko’s singing she turned to me and asked ‘What’s wrong with that guy?’ IMMD.
I was eating a donut with a friend’s 15 month old daughter. She asked what the hole was for and I asked “What do you think?” she said ” That’s where you put the bacon”. IMMD
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Doings Report
We spent much of last week playing with friends and doing airport runs. It was really fun! But we've decided three trips to the airport in two days is our max.
Wednesday evening, Mary, Jon, and Qacei Gold arrived and the fun commenced. Thursday morning, Randi and baby Rudy came over for breakfast. Thursday afternoon, Frank drove Mary and Jon to the airport for their much envied flight to Paris. Thursday evening, Craig, Gillian, Effie, and Fergus arrived for some wrasslin, slidin, and heart-shaped birthday cake eatin.
Friday morning, Frank and I drove MJ, Chloe, and Qacei to the airport for their flight to the South (to see friends in Atlanta and then caravan to Isle of Palms, South Carolina, for an unschooler gathering). All three of them got hassled going through security, I guess 'cause teenaged girls are so terribly scary.
Friday afternoon, Frank and I drove the Mayers to the airport for their flight to Chicago to visit Max and Otto. And Rachel and Martin, of course.
Friday night, because I hadn't had enough fun (or driving) yet, I went up to Bellingham to hang out with friends and hear Alfie Kohn speak. Alfie's talk was interesting and entertaining but also kind of a bummer because he still believes schools can be fixed. They would certainly be better if Alfie's ideas were implemented, but I wish he could make that last leap and question whether the institutions are really necessary for the type of learning he is promoting.
Anyway, I got to see a nice crowd of unschoolers I know there, and then a bunch of us went to Casa Que Pasa for tacos and drinks. After, Shonna and Jacinta and I shared a hotel room and talked into the wee hours. It was good.
Since then, Frank and I have been enjoying our temporarily empty nest. The Seahawks kicked all Jaguar buttocks. I've been reading a lot and mostly ignoring the Internet til now. The house is clean and staying that way. But it sure is quiet around here.
Wednesday evening, Mary, Jon, and Qacei Gold arrived and the fun commenced. Thursday morning, Randi and baby Rudy came over for breakfast. Thursday afternoon, Frank drove Mary and Jon to the airport for their much envied flight to Paris. Thursday evening, Craig, Gillian, Effie, and Fergus arrived for some wrasslin, slidin, and heart-shaped birthday cake eatin.
Friday morning, Frank and I drove MJ, Chloe, and Qacei to the airport for their flight to the South (to see friends in Atlanta and then caravan to Isle of Palms, South Carolina, for an unschooler gathering). All three of them got hassled going through security, I guess 'cause teenaged girls are so terribly scary.
Friday afternoon, Frank and I drove the Mayers to the airport for their flight to Chicago to visit Max and Otto. And Rachel and Martin, of course.
Friday night, because I hadn't had enough fun (or driving) yet, I went up to Bellingham to hang out with friends and hear Alfie Kohn speak. Alfie's talk was interesting and entertaining but also kind of a bummer because he still believes schools can be fixed. They would certainly be better if Alfie's ideas were implemented, but I wish he could make that last leap and question whether the institutions are really necessary for the type of learning he is promoting.
Anyway, I got to see a nice crowd of unschoolers I know there, and then a bunch of us went to Casa Que Pasa for tacos and drinks. After, Shonna and Jacinta and I shared a hotel room and talked into the wee hours. It was good.
Since then, Frank and I have been enjoying our temporarily empty nest. The Seahawks kicked all Jaguar buttocks. I've been reading a lot and mostly ignoring the Internet til now. The house is clean and staying that way. But it sure is quiet around here.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
In review
Do you ever read your own blog? Every now and then, I read mine. Sometimes I find things I barely remember writing but like pretty well. Here are a few from today's cruise through the archives:
Colorful metaphors - July 2008 - about our feelings about profanity, with some great and entertaining comments.
Hidden rules - December 2008 - about the dangers of expectations even in a rule-free home.
Unschooling and allowance and math - September 2006 - about unschooling and allowance and math. ;-)
Accepted - February 2007 - a review of the movie of the same name, plus a discussion of some of our core beliefs.
Strewing - September 2007 - about the unschooling practice of regularly providing our kids with fresh ideas and resources.
Colorful metaphors - July 2008 - about our feelings about profanity, with some great and entertaining comments.
Hidden rules - December 2008 - about the dangers of expectations even in a rule-free home.
Unschooling and allowance and math - September 2006 - about unschooling and allowance and math. ;-)
Accepted - February 2007 - a review of the movie of the same name, plus a discussion of some of our core beliefs.
Strewing - September 2007 - about the unschooling practice of regularly providing our kids with fresh ideas and resources.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Diving In
I guess I'm part of the In Crowd. Who knew?
I could go on in some detail about how this has never been true for me before, how I've spent my whole life feeling like an outsider, and so on. But I think it's more useful to talk about how I came to be part of a group so cool and so much fun that people think we MUST be the In Crowd.
The simple explanation is one that should be familiar to unschoolers: connections. Unschoolers often speak about the organic nature of learning, and how each person's web of knowledge is made by making connections between separately attained bits of information. Well, our web of friendships has been made the exact same way: one friendship at a time.
And there's a big difference from the In Crowd you knew in high school: this In Crowd gets bigger every year. It is always open to new members, and all you need to do to belong is get started being a friend. Make a beginning.
I've written up a few examples to show how it has worked for us.
Dana Ellis. I met Dana in 2006 when a group of unschooling moms and kids (most of whom had never met before) got together at the Burlington Mall just to chat. I don't think I saw Dana again for three years. Then at LIFE is Good 2009, I played peek-a-boo with her baby and she helped me learn how to hoola hoop. Now we get together with some regularity, and she's a fun, crazy, sexy addition to my list of friends.
The moral: You just never know when the seeds of a friendship will take root.
Mary Gold. I knew Mary online, although I can't swear she knew me. She was one of the moms whose voices had convinced me to try unschooling and supported me through my deschooling. But we had never met in person until LIFE is Good 2007, our first unschooling conference. Even there, since she was very busy in her Conference Diva role, and since I felt pretty shy about meeting one of my mentors, we spent about five minutes together, total. By LIFE is Good 2008, Mary had become (and remains) one of my best friends.
The moral: There is no such thing as celebrity in the unschooling community.
Michelle Boswell and Robin Bentley. Michelle was one of the other moms at that first meeting with Dana. Robin was at LIFE is Good 2007, but we met only in passing. Later in 2007, I started STUN, our little teen group, and Michelle and her three kids and Robin and her daughter became core members. My friendship with these STUNing moms was nurtured in weekly group meetings and expanded via e-mail, individual get-togethers, and shared conference experiences. (And Robin is one hell of a backup chick!)
The moral: Sometimes you have to get things started.
Kelli Traaseth. I met Kelli in November 2007 at Mary Gold's non-con. We talked some, and our kids hit it off, so when we had a chance to get together with the Traaseths in Disneyland in 2008, we jumped on it. It was there that I discovered Kelli and I are twins separated at birth. Well, we're still separated, since she lives way over on the other side of the country, but we maintain our friendship online, and she scores big points by her willingness to host my kids whenever they get the urge to fly east. (I keep offering to return the favor, but so far, her kids haven't taken me up on it.)
The moral: Distance doesn't have to be a factor.
And here's where it gets interesting
At LIFE is Good one year, I made friends with Ginger Sabo. Ginger encouraged Beth Joling, a high-school buddy of hers, to come to LIFE is Good 2009. I met Beth there, and Beth also met Dana. Beth and Dana live in the same town north of here, so when I go up there, I usually get to see them both. Robin Bentley and Michelle Boswell sometimes go up with me, and some other friends, Shonna Morgan (another fabulous backup chick!) and Jacinta Galway, sometimes come down to join us.
Jacinta's husband, Russ Anguish, is one of the Greybeards, so he came down to San Diego last month for the show at Good Vibrations, the conference that Ginger helped to organize. Ginger's husband, Jeff, is our bass player. Jeff is good friends (some might even call them father and daughter ;->) with Kelly Lovejoy, the once-and-future diva of the Live and Learn Conferences. It was Kelly who invited me to speak at L&L 2008, where I got a chance to see the Traaseths again and where I met Ren Allen in person finally. Ren is another of my mentors, and it was she who found herself hosting a little party at LIFE is Good 2009 where I had time to speak to my new acquaintance, Russ Anguish. At that party, I also got the chance to visit with Mercedes Fulwiler, who was one of those moms who got together at the Burlington Mall all those years ago, and I got to see Diana Jenner, who is the one who first introduced me to Gillian and Craig Mayer back in 2007.
I got better acquainted with Gillian and Craig at the non-con hosted by Mary Gold in fall of 2007, and then they held a little gathering in summer of 2008 where I met the Stonebrakers, whom I got to see again at L&L 2008. The Stonebrakers are hosting MJ & Chloe next week when they all travel together to a little South Carolina gathering organized by Ben and Kelly Lovejoy. There, the girls will get to meet Faith Taintor and Elissa Cleaveland, two unschooling moms who are my friends on Facebook but whom I don't think I've met in person.
And speaking of Facebook...
Never mind. Don't get me started on that. :-)
I hope I'm making my point here. You can look at us now, happily surrounded by friends, ridiculously overbooked socially, and make assumptions about how we got here and what we feel about the people we don't know yet. But your assumptions would be wrong. When we arrived, friendless, in the unschooling community, all it took to join the In Crowd was recognizing one thing:
Everybody is welcome in the In Crowd.
I could go on in some detail about how this has never been true for me before, how I've spent my whole life feeling like an outsider, and so on. But I think it's more useful to talk about how I came to be part of a group so cool and so much fun that people think we MUST be the In Crowd.
The simple explanation is one that should be familiar to unschoolers: connections. Unschoolers often speak about the organic nature of learning, and how each person's web of knowledge is made by making connections between separately attained bits of information. Well, our web of friendships has been made the exact same way: one friendship at a time.
And there's a big difference from the In Crowd you knew in high school: this In Crowd gets bigger every year. It is always open to new members, and all you need to do to belong is get started being a friend. Make a beginning.
I've written up a few examples to show how it has worked for us.
Dana Ellis. I met Dana in 2006 when a group of unschooling moms and kids (most of whom had never met before) got together at the Burlington Mall just to chat. I don't think I saw Dana again for three years. Then at LIFE is Good 2009, I played peek-a-boo with her baby and she helped me learn how to hoola hoop. Now we get together with some regularity, and she's a fun, crazy, sexy addition to my list of friends.
The moral: You just never know when the seeds of a friendship will take root.
Mary Gold. I knew Mary online, although I can't swear she knew me. She was one of the moms whose voices had convinced me to try unschooling and supported me through my deschooling. But we had never met in person until LIFE is Good 2007, our first unschooling conference. Even there, since she was very busy in her Conference Diva role, and since I felt pretty shy about meeting one of my mentors, we spent about five minutes together, total. By LIFE is Good 2008, Mary had become (and remains) one of my best friends.
The moral: There is no such thing as celebrity in the unschooling community.
Michelle Boswell and Robin Bentley. Michelle was one of the other moms at that first meeting with Dana. Robin was at LIFE is Good 2007, but we met only in passing. Later in 2007, I started STUN, our little teen group, and Michelle and her three kids and Robin and her daughter became core members. My friendship with these STUNing moms was nurtured in weekly group meetings and expanded via e-mail, individual get-togethers, and shared conference experiences. (And Robin is one hell of a backup chick!)
The moral: Sometimes you have to get things started.
Kelli Traaseth. I met Kelli in November 2007 at Mary Gold's non-con. We talked some, and our kids hit it off, so when we had a chance to get together with the Traaseths in Disneyland in 2008, we jumped on it. It was there that I discovered Kelli and I are twins separated at birth. Well, we're still separated, since she lives way over on the other side of the country, but we maintain our friendship online, and she scores big points by her willingness to host my kids whenever they get the urge to fly east. (I keep offering to return the favor, but so far, her kids haven't taken me up on it.)
The moral: Distance doesn't have to be a factor.
And here's where it gets interesting
At LIFE is Good one year, I made friends with Ginger Sabo. Ginger encouraged Beth Joling, a high-school buddy of hers, to come to LIFE is Good 2009. I met Beth there, and Beth also met Dana. Beth and Dana live in the same town north of here, so when I go up there, I usually get to see them both. Robin Bentley and Michelle Boswell sometimes go up with me, and some other friends, Shonna Morgan (another fabulous backup chick!) and Jacinta Galway, sometimes come down to join us.
Jacinta's husband, Russ Anguish, is one of the Greybeards, so he came down to San Diego last month for the show at Good Vibrations, the conference that Ginger helped to organize. Ginger's husband, Jeff, is our bass player. Jeff is good friends (some might even call them father and daughter ;->) with Kelly Lovejoy, the once-and-future diva of the Live and Learn Conferences. It was Kelly who invited me to speak at L&L 2008, where I got a chance to see the Traaseths again and where I met Ren Allen in person finally. Ren is another of my mentors, and it was she who found herself hosting a little party at LIFE is Good 2009 where I had time to speak to my new acquaintance, Russ Anguish. At that party, I also got the chance to visit with Mercedes Fulwiler, who was one of those moms who got together at the Burlington Mall all those years ago, and I got to see Diana Jenner, who is the one who first introduced me to Gillian and Craig Mayer back in 2007.
I got better acquainted with Gillian and Craig at the non-con hosted by Mary Gold in fall of 2007, and then they held a little gathering in summer of 2008 where I met the Stonebrakers, whom I got to see again at L&L 2008. The Stonebrakers are hosting MJ & Chloe next week when they all travel together to a little South Carolina gathering organized by Ben and Kelly Lovejoy. There, the girls will get to meet Faith Taintor and Elissa Cleaveland, two unschooling moms who are my friends on Facebook but whom I don't think I've met in person.
And speaking of Facebook...
Never mind. Don't get me started on that. :-)
I hope I'm making my point here. You can look at us now, happily surrounded by friends, ridiculously overbooked socially, and make assumptions about how we got here and what we feel about the people we don't know yet. But your assumptions would be wrong. When we arrived, friendless, in the unschooling community, all it took to join the In Crowd was recognizing one thing:
Everybody is welcome in the In Crowd.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Good stuff on vaccine safety
From James Moore, columnist on The Huffington Post
"The failure of health institutions in the government to conduct these studies will eventually do great harm to the uptake of vaccines and will likely jeopardize critical herd immunity.
"Private research, in collaboration with universities, is endeavoring to fill this gap and is turning up disturbing results."
Full article
"The failure of health institutions in the government to conduct these studies will eventually do great harm to the uptake of vaccines and will likely jeopardize critical herd immunity.
"Private research, in collaboration with universities, is endeavoring to fill this gap and is turning up disturbing results."
Full article
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